Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Is it fair to expect my boyfriend to do a MMF after we did a MFF?

So, a few weeks ago, I told my boyfriend I wanted to have a threesome with him and another girl, and after a little convincing, he agreed to go ahead with it, so we went to another town and found another girl and it was pretty fun, especially for me. My boyfriend said it was good, wasn't great, doesn't want to do it again.

Well, now I think it's only fair that we have one with him and another guy, and he flat out REFUSED! This is so unfair, he should reciprocate.

He said it was MY idea we do it with another girl and that he has no interest in having sex with another guy, I said he doesn't have to even touch the other guy they just have to both do me, and he still refuses.

I feel this is a double standard and unfair.
Yes, it is fair. He should reciprocate.
Vote A
No, it is not fair. Explain.
Vote B
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Girl Guy
0 3

AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion

  • He was reluctant to the original idea, so he wants a monogamous relationship. He went against his values to provide you with pleasure, which in your own words he did not enjoy very much. Your response to this is "well what about dick instead?"

    Poly and open dynamics don't work that way. It isn't simply so because one partner wants it to be. Would your feelings be the same if you didn't enjoy the MFF threesome and he suddenly had a thirst for them? To be gung ho about going down on other women you never want your man, much less you being with?

    I get a lot of flak sometimes for being poly, and it's attitudes like this one that play a part there. You get in a relationship because someone makes you feel special, and you make them feel special. Whether it's the attention you pay to each other, hobbies you share, whatever. Most people cannot hold onto that outside a monogamous dynamic and get jealous or jaded. Most people can't even hold on to a monogamous relationship for that matter.

    If you pursue that path you're going to wind up doing so with a different partner sooner or later. He'll get jealous or jaded, issue an ultimatum, and you'll leave or he will. You may feel it's unfair, he may feel it's unfair. I have no idea what you two have, except a disconnect from each other. If I had a threesome lined up, even in a relationship where I cannot count how many I've had in the past and my wife says she doesn't feel comfortable with it, shit isn't happening.

Most Helpful Guy

  • What the fuck. A threesome. Woman if i was your boyfriend i could give you a gangbang. There are so many guys i know who would love to do that.
    Anyway my girlfriend would never want a man touch her sexually. She knows she has me. I am not bragging but she calls me a SEX GOD when it comes to bed.
    And sssshhh i know one of her DARKEST fantasies and that is:
    *Being fucked in a stage where everyone is watching... This is one of the things i am constantly working on. I wanna make it a REALITY.
    I am currently thinking of a stage and also the audience.
    .
    Don't judge me i am sexually free and i don't give a fuck what people think of me. As i said i am making it a reality.

Most Helpful Girls

  • That's not really how sexuality works. You're creating a complicated situation here. And it's your right (and risk) to do so, but there is no "fair" here.

    Most girls would be happy he doesn't want to bring other people into your relationship. He did it for you, tried it, doesn't want it again, so you absolutely cannot force him into doing another thing you want, and he doesn't want.
    There's no logic in what you're saying, and you're trying to justify getting what you want.

    Leave it as it is, and just be happy that you got out of this unscathed and the relationship still basically intact.
    If you want more of this, sounds like he may not be the guy for you.
    But know that these things are often complicated and there are very few people who swing both ways, and want to include others in their relationship, so I also wouldn't suggest breaking up with this guy to find another. The odds of a guy being open to sleeping with another guy are very slim.

  • No it’s not fair because both are your ideas. You initiated the mff and he only agreed for you to do but he’s clearly very opposed to mmf. It’s a double standard sure but you’re the one who wanted to share him with another girl, he doesn’t want to share you with another guy. Just talk with him

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 53

  • If he would of been the one to talk you into the FFM, that would be different. But "you" talked him into it. You enjoyed it more than he did. Now you think he's obligated to do a FMM. That's probably why you pushed the FFM in the first place just to be able to say now he has to... If you keep pushing your partner into things he doesn't want to do eventually you're going to end up pushing him away. People Don't like being manipulated, especially by their partner.

  • Men are visual - I personally can't see a dude and have sex let alone a naked one - There is no way he accepts it and I'm glad he won't

  • You literally had to convince him to do the MFF, as it was your idea.

    Where, exactly, is the double standard here? He agreed to do something that you wanted, and now you're upset that he won't do something else that you want? There is nothing to reciprocate, because he was doing something for you; not the other way around.

    You sound more than a little selfish, to me.

  • it was YOUR idea NOT his to find another girl he was ok with it and he did it for you, FOR you do you now see where this is going. your making it about you. and your trying to FORCE him into another one of YOUR ideas which he is refusing this time.

    granted he did th 3some thing but it was YOUR idea so just accept it as a loss unless you cheat on him and find 2 guy which would mean he could dump you on a curb.

  • He is opposed to a MFM and you should respect his feelings.

    You were not opposed to a FMF and he indulged your fantasy although he didn't think it was a great experience. He gave you what you wanted once.

    Now you ask for something else that he doesn't want and you accuse him of being unfair. However, if your participation in the FMF was conditioned on later doing a MFM, you should have discussed this in advance and had a clear agreement about what would or would not happen. In all likelihood, he wouldn't have agreed to the FMF if it meant he had to do a MFM but, by not discussing it in advance, you have eliminated that option for him. Talking about it in advance would have been fair, you didn't talk about it in advance, and that is your fault.

  • Lmao no. You convinced him to have an MFF threesome so that you could convince him afterwards to let you fuck another dude, without mentioning it beforehand. Trying to use the whole equality thing here doesn't work. Everything doesn't have to be equal.

  • Sure... he had his fun now it is your turn!

    • She enjoyed it more than him and she suggested it.

    • He just found it OK. It was mostly her thing, not his.

  • It's not unfair. The FFM was your thing, not his. So how could you think he has some responcibility to do an MMF, which he's likely to enjoy even less. You pushed him into the FFM and he didn't like it, so he definitely isn't going to want another guy involved.

  • The fair would have been, if you had made it conditional before the fact... and not "reciprocal" after the fact

  • Umm... You're dumb as shit.

  • You are totally wrong on this one

    • Why is she wrong

    • @newfreshstart her idea for the first threesome

    • You are totally correct. That woman wanted to do it the first with another motive on her mind... pure manipulation.

    • Show All

  • The MFF threesome was something you talked him into. It was not his idea and he doesn’t want to do it again, so it is something you wanted that he didn’t want. This means there is no double standards and he has nothing to reciprocate.

    He doesn’t want to have threesomes at all and if you want to be with him you should respect that.

  • I don't think it's fair to expect your boyfriend to have another threesome when he didn't even want or enjoy the first one. It's not a good idea to keep pushing your partner's boundaries after they tell you no. Ask him what he would be comfortable trying out in bed instead, and work with what he wants to do this time. You will need to learn how to compromise if you have different sexual preferences than him, and it seems he has already tried to accommodate you in this manner. It's your turn.

  • He tried a 3sum and didn't like it. Case closed. What's wrong with you?

  • You wanted the threesome, not him. He did it for you and only you. He also said he does not want that again. It is very unfair for him to have to "reciprocate" something that you wanted.
    You know the only difference between allowing you to have sex with another man and a threesome? He's in bed with you. If my girlfriend were to ask for an MFM, I would take that as she wants to fuck another man, because she does.

    Leave it alone before you do something you will regret.

  • I voted "no" but I don't have the mental energy right now to do the usual spiel of pointing out the flaws in OP's reasoning. So, short answer: the FFM was your idea, and trying to guilt him into going along with a MFM now is super manipulative and wrong.

  • You pushed the first idea on him he still didn’t like it and now what to force this one which not only would okay his insecurities and emasculate him but make him think you planned this all along? Just save yourself the trouble and find someone better suited for your needs there’s a lot of perverts into that kind of thing and if you two are not sexually compatible then save yourselves the time and fine people who are best of luck to you !

  • Did he suggest the threesome with another girl? No, he didn't.
    So his point stands. You wanted it and you obliged eventually. It was something that YOU wanted, not him. In fact, he even said he doesn't want to do it again.

    So no, it is not fair to expect your boyfriend to do ANOTHER thing that YOU want. It would be very different, if he wanted that MFF threesome, but that's not the case. So you expected him to oblige and pressuring him with guilt-tripping is just really bad behaviour of you (and incredibly selfish).

  • You're a fool. This is one of the VERY BEST ways to really fuck up a good relationship. FAIL

  • I think that if your in love with someone, you shouldn't want someone else. But I think that sex should be fun. If he refuses, than its better that you find two men who would like to have fun with. But don't tell your boyfriend, he will definitely get jealous.

    • So youplwn for her is ti cheat?

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