Is it fair to restrict your S. O.'s orgasm if he/she isn't able to give you one?

Question

NamerOfStars · Accepted Answer

This is the sort of thing that makes me weep for the future. Insists on only one form of stimulation and when it doesn't work, thinks HE'S doing it wrong. Bluntly speaking, if you're relying entirely on the other person, what makes you think you *deserve* an orgasm? Granted, one paragraph of one side of a dispute is hardly conclusive evidence, but I've seen this mentality a LOT over the years.

More broadly- hell no. Is that what you want out of sex? Another way to control and manipulate your partner? Another transactional commodity? Bleh. If you have problems, you work to solve them TOGETHER.

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

No, that would be extremely controlling. You should want to help your SO to orgasm as often as possible. Whether your SO is able to give you one is important, and you can help your SO learn to help you to orgasm. The teaching/learning experience can and should be fun... for both of you. In the meantime, keep helping your SO to orgasm.

Xoxocutekitty · Accepted Answer

This situation reads to me as agreeing to go to third base and not all the way unless there a significant improvement.

Sounds like he's not doing a good job, so why should she promote him? His attitude sucks that he feels entitled to his orgasm while doing a half ass job.

He's probably not reading his partner well, just doing random shit he saw in porn and then is getting mad when it'd not working.

kyleelyn199723 · Accepted Answer

What you won’t do , another woman will. If he cheats on her (I don’t condone but it happens) or if he leaves her for someone else she can only blame herself for playing hard to get. I think it’s her body and she can do what she pleases, but if she leaves I really hope she doesn’t consider him to be a piece of shit when she kind of sounds like a piece of shit.

Effably · Answer

To be fair FDS is a cesspool of bigoted hateful women who anyone sane wouldn't touch with a 10-m pole and this is probably the least extreme notion they have.

For simplicity this one is basically the women's variant of incels. With all the silly logic, derogatory reasoning and so on that comes with it.

And to answer the question: If restricting sex for 3 years seems reasonable to you with a loving partner who is giving their all to make you feel good then you probably should not be together or you need to figure out how to do things. In 3 years I could teach a monkey to play the trombone. If a girl can't teach her guy to get her off despite his best efforts then she either doesn't know how herself or they are not good together sexually.

But to reiterate: FDS is probably one od the two worst places you can go to for dating advice. Good place if you're bitter and just want to hate on everyone though.

Curmudgeon · Answer

Just to be vindictive?

Oh hell no. If there is something you two can work together on, or learn about, or purchase that helps, from special lubricants to "toys", go for it.

But think "We", not "You", or even "I", in terms of solving the issue or at least making it better if it isn't solvable (getting old is real, you aren't there yet, but you will be).

Koneko911 · Answer

No. That's lame asf and childish

Mangospacho · Answer

3 years of no sex? She’s getting it somewhere else and using that excuse as a front. 😂

Jintendo18 · Answer

I mean it’s really not that difficult, especially if you go down with your hands first and let her guide you.

EnglishEuropean · Answer

haha nope. Unless that's, you know, what they want.

ArtHelm · Answer

Not fair! I am capable of doing anything you like for a certain period of time in order to get you off. If you don't know how to make yourself orgasm, or tell me how; I am going to get mine and you will help!!