Is it normal for a guy not to finish over half of the time?

Anonymous

My boyfriend and I try to have sex regularly, but he's been having trouble finishing. He says it will take too long and he doesn't want to hurt me. Sometimes he even has a hard time keeping it hard. Other times he's quick as hell. he's 21.. is this normal?

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Most Helpful Guys

AustinMan Influencer
+1 y
Sounds like he's distracted. Encourage him to fully present in the moment to maintain his erection and control when he cums. It's hard for a lot of guys to learn how to go up to the edge and back off a bit so we can last but pull the trigger when the time comes. Have you tried role play sex? It's the hottest sex I've ever had.
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- Asker
  +1 y
  Thank you for the tips. I know it's not because of porn or masterbation. I know it's more mental. I will try this
- AustinMan
  +1 y
  Any role play sex? How playful is your sex together?
- Asker
  +1 y
  Not very playful. I was going to try some fun new positions last night that we talked about but he turned me down at the end of the night.
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- AustinMan
  +1 y
  Okay... A couple of things. One is don't talk about sex when sex is going on unless you're ready to very possibly get turned down. Too much performance pressure plus talking about it can add to the arousal and excitement. Second, talking about it gives him a chance to suggest upgrades or alternatives which'll increase his interest and investment.
- Asker
  +1 y
  I told him earlier it would be fun to do some new positions and he seemed totally down for it. And then i started kissing him in bed and he turned me down
- AustinMan
  +1 y
  So start with the new one he likes best. What kind of role play scenarios have you tried? Anything with a discipline angel?
- Asker
  +1 y
  Uh I don't know we are kinda old school vanilla.. not sure i can do any of that and not sure if he likes that
- Asker
  +1 y
  Honestly we are best friends and i think he's too comfortable in our friendship and relationship that he doesn't really think about my sexual needs. We are very happy and everything but i just dont think he thinks we need it. I don't know
- AustinMan
  +1 y
  What about a scenario where you're the girlfriend who wrecked his car by doing something stupid and getting spanked for it? Is that appealing?
kekeke5226 Xper 1
+1 y
1. i have sexual anhedonia (i can only imagine what sex taste like) so it take me a very long time to finish... so most time i usally just get tired... oh and yes am 21... you could talk to him about it and ask whats wrong

2. maybe he jerked off before sex
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- Asker
  +1 y
  I know it's not 2. We are with eachother all the time
- kekeke5226
  +1 y
  hopefully he dosen't have depression or any condition... try knowing he's favourite porn then trying it
- Asker
  +1 y
  He doesn't agree with porn , he finds it disgusting lol. I think it's just stress or distraction..
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- kekeke5226
  +1 y
  doubt it would work though... Have you tried talking to him maybe he seems to loose intrest during sex due to certain factors probabaly not feeling it
- Asker
  +1 y
  Yeah he said that sometimes it just doesn't happen. If it's too hot in the room. He tells me that it's nothing to do with me. He has horrible add
- kekeke5226
  +1 y
  I gotta admit i agree with him on the porn part porn seems to exagerrate a lot... prefer to watch a movie then the scene comes up... Oh and he has horrible? add? incomplete
- Asker
  +1 y
  Attention deficit disorder

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 2

Alexandrubaschet08 Guru
+1 y
to much jerk off
0 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  We live together and I never see him be anywhere for a long time at all. It's a small apartment. I feel like I would notice
- Alexandrubaschet08
  +1 y
  Ask him, maby stres, maby his is tired when he cum hard, alimentation.
Anonymous
+1 y
Is he on anti depressants by chance?
0 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  No he's not