Is it normal for guys to hump things, instead of jacking off to masturbate?

Question

HippieVeganJewslim · Accepted Answer

Yes.
Shokeling for praying, music, to get the voices inside one's head out, or whatever is normal.
Wearing a skirt, a headband, and flowers in the hair is normal, whether for a bloke or lass.
Noshing just fruits washed down with the basic organic golden elixir is normal. Hence the word 'disFRUTAr.' It's also quite normal to dig Vitamin E from fallen organic delicious flowers that have little, if any, toxin.
Noshing on the ground for breakfast, dinner, supper, and dessert al fresco is normal.
Wearing headscarves is normal, no matter where one's residing: in the East, the West, the North, or the South.
Sleeping for just five hours a night and napping occasionally during the day is normal. Sleeping on the floor is normal, if You consider having a decently healthy back normal.
Jumping up and down while brushing the teeth with the basic organic golden elixir is normal.
Not shaving the centre of the monobrow is normal. Nu, not shaving anything is normal, actually. Hairs are extensions of the nervous system. Playing the guitar with the teeth/tongue is normal.
Rapping in Yinglish and using the hippie lingo is normal.
Growing long peot and long dreadlocks is normal. A man with no hair is like a tree with no leaves. Abstaining from touching the dead bodies of human beings and grape products is normal.
Growing a beard is normal. A man with no beard is like a tree with no bark.
Going out barefoot is normal.
Fasting on Mondays, Thorsdays, full moons, and Ramadan is normal, for whichever faith.
Celebrating spiritual holidays while not being of that faith is normal.
Knitting/crocheting without needles/a hook is normal.
Following commandments of the Creator Who created one is normal.
To feel stupid and contagious is normal. It makes one more modest.
Having imaginary friends is normal. Zeke Hile, Anna Arkie, Mary Juana, Nick O'Teen, Brook Lynn, Dred Locks, Ellis Dee, Luna Tick, Ken O'Biss, Newt Olafsen, Spider X, the Special Agent Vodka the Horribly Accurate, and the Magic Fish all agree with that. Talking to oneself is normal. The Lunatic agrees with Himself. Saying 'gesundheit!' instead of '(G-d) bless You!' after a sneeze is normal, especially to atheists.
Going to temples of different faiths is normal.
Believing in more than one faith is kosher, halāl, and therefore normal.
Wearing bindi, despite the faith, location, gender, or marriage, is normal.
Calling fellow Earthlings 'my love' is normal, despite the relationship, my love. Getting enamoured with relatively young/old people is normal.
Being non-binary is normal. The Lunatic has 100 non-binary comrades: Comrade Anarchyv, Alex, Alex, and Sophie.
There are 10 types of Earthlings: those who know the binary system and those who don't. Being the first is normal. It says nowhere that one must be the 10th.
Claiming lunacy of oneself is normal. It's better than a madman reckoning of sanity.
Not fake-smiling for pictures is normal.
Wishing an Earthling to feel better is normal. Actually, it's a mitzvah!
Having three wives at the same time is normal. You can ask Anwar, Salma, or Koko. Being bisexual is normal. It's in the genes.
Usiŋ non-popular ƿords, dated ƿords/letters, or ye ƿord coined by Nicholas Allen (frindle) is normal. Ye ƿord 'pen' is gettiŋ old and it actually means a cage for poor animals.˙lɐɯɹou sᴉ uʍop-ǝpᴉsdn ƃuᴉpɐǝɹ puɐ ƃuᴉʇᴉɹMBeing superstitious just for fun is normal. Composing a loony poem about a lunatic is quite loony, so it's normal. Composing poetry about death is normal, no matter at whatever age. Always look on the bright side of death just before You draw Your terminal breath. Defending oneself or others is normal. That's what many, if not all, martial arts are for.
Referring to oneself in the third person, like the Lunatic is doing, is normal.
Changing from having a dang pagan name to having a groovy Arabian Jewish name is normal.
Being a young philosopher is normal. A loving heart is always young. Knowing that one knows nothing is normal. It makes one truly wise.
Reading a child The Little Mermaid, or even The Pied Piper of Hameln is normal. After all, despite all of their tragedies, they are fairy tales. If You want Your children to be smart, read them fairy tales. If You want Your children to be even smarter, read them even more fairy tales. Life is the greatest fairy tale. Believing in evil spirits of fire, like in the Satan, is normal.
An ethnical Jew learning the tongue of Adolf Hitler and composing poetry in that tongue is normal. Mind You, Hitler Himself was an ethnical Jew.
Loving unacquainted fellow Earthlings is normal. People are strange when You're a stranger. Knowing that all humans (Black, White, Mulatto, Asian, Blaisian, Brown, &c), no matter how different, are descended from one man (is His name Adam?) is normal. It's called evolution.
Feeling paranoid of schizophrenia is normal.
Capitalising all Nouns is normal. That is only the proper Way in German Orthography.
Having OCD is normal. Aye, it's normal. For goodness' sake is it normal! Oy, why shouldn't it be normal? The Lunatic swears to G-d it's normal.
Writing 'G-d' instead of writing the Sustainer's full title is normal.
Calling a beautiful lovely sweet vegetarian peacenik '[one's] Flower Girl' is normal.
Not using auxiliary words is normal; think so You not?
Using double-negative ain't contradicting no rules of normal. Using the word 'ain't' ain't abnormal. Using any English accent while speaking English is normal. Uttering words in a foreign accent ain't rapping in a fake accent, so it's rather normal. Many great English singers, like Eric Clapton, Sir Paul, and Sir Mick, sing in a somewhat Yankee accent.
Having dis-eases ending in -phobia (like liftophobia, for instance) is normal.
Having Heracleian strength is normal.
Being reasonable, logical, and oneself and not hypocritically pretending to act like other impractical imperfect creatures that one is not is normal. Having role models also is normal. Just because one does something, doesn't mean no-one else in the Universe has the right to do it. Not punishing those who are under the control of one that sin is normal.
Holding a utensil the way the Lunatic holds one is normal. Using no utensil while noshing is also normal. Using the word 'y'all' as a singular is the proper way to use it and therefore is it normal. 'All y'all' is the plural, by the way. Using 'dinner' for food noshed at dinnertime and 'supper' for food noshed at suppertime and not using the words 'lunch' or 'lunchtime,' of which there's no such thing, is normal. Making tea out of mint, sugar, cool dihydrogen monoxide, and serving it in a tall glass is normal. Tea ought to be cold and sweet. Having ideas with imagination is normal. Imagination is more important than knowledge, the latter of which is limited to what is known and understood whereas the former encircles the entire world and beyond. Being a dreamer is normal. You may say the Lunatic's a dreamer, but He ain't the only one. Being indecisive is normal. Or maybe not.
Not believing in Christmas, Easter, son of G-d, Kršna, Hawking, Shakespeare, Webster, al-Bukhārī, halakha, 613 mitzvot, Pluto, doctors, allopathy, birthdays, cancer, diabetes, AIDS, COVID, traditional nutrition, protein, countries, colours, tachyons, fashion, idols, democracy, gelt, sects, races, ages, dating, or Dennis is normal.
Just kidding! There's no such thing as normal, my love, but being/doing any of these won't harm anyone. Hopefully all Y'all will join us, and the world will live as one!

StrongMale · Accepted Answer

It seems like most of the male answers here say they don’t do it much, if at all. I’m surprised, I kinda thought I was like most guys in this regard, but I guess I’m a bit of an anomaly! I have enjoyed ‘humping things’ since I was 6 years old and rubbed one out on the carpeted floor of my bedroom. My penis is very sensitive to different textures, so I find it feels incredible to rub and grind it into or against different things. One time I was watching TV sex doctor, Sue Johansson, and she gave her guy viewers an idea for a fun masturbation tool. She said to fashion bubble wrap into a sleeve and coat it with some kind of lube, she suggested baby oil. I have tried this, and I can tell you it feels fantastic. I have humped to orgasm in lots of ways.. the wet shower wall, a tile floor, the arm of a leather chair, a woman’s leg, the edge of the bed, and even on the ground in the woods once. Interestingly I once had a woman who loved to have me hump her with my pants still on and cum in my jeans. That was always fun! So, yeah, I’ve done quite a bit of ‘humping things’ to masturbate, but I guess I am an exception to the rule! ☺️

Angela_S · Accepted Answer

Yeah, whatever floats your boat. My b/f has a sex-doll he humps occasionally, I've also known him put a pillow on one side of the door to one of our rooms, then hump that, standing up with one leg in either room, straddling the pillow/door-frame. Also, a few years ago my pillow fell down the back of the bed in the night. I woke my b/f up and asked him to pull the bed forward a bit so I could get it back. As he was pulling the bed forward I noticed he had a massive hard-on (which he'd woken up with), which the mattress was rubbing against as he pulled the bed forward. I was about to offer to sort it out for him, but he literally couldn't stop himself, even though the look on his face indicated he was trying. He just started thrusting the mattress and quite quickly blew his load. So yeah, men will shag anything, it seems. lol

DizzyDesii · Accepted Answer

I liked being dryhumped as a foreplay before sex and i liked if the guy humped his bed during phone sex as he imagined going deeper into me. Something about rubbing their dick against the material of the sheets was satisfying likea massage to em. I wouldve thought they’d get something like carpet burn lmao

itsJay · Answer

Hmm, for me, not by myself. But there have been times where I'd grind with a girl while spooning her in bed. Usually we'd just be watching something together and it just starts to happen. They'd usually ask for more after a few minutes, so I haven't done it long enough to know if it's enough to climax.

I don't think I could orgasm from just humping though. Maybe if I was still a teenager, haha. But no, I've never been able to masturbate and climax from just humping something. Sex toys are pretty good though. 😇

bzcxx · Answer

I don’t think it’s very common. I’ve only done it when I was younger and just starting out with puberty. I used to share a room with my older sister when I was a little boy, and so I never had the privacy to masturbate. I remember how I used to hump my bolster while scrolling through NSFW tumblr and it did feel really really good. I had to stop many times and then finish myself off in the toilet as i didn’t want my cum all over my sheets.
As I grew older, I moved into my own room (with my own toilet), and so I no longer had to do it so secretly. I started collecting sex toys when I turned 17 and so I guess the only thing I hump these days (besides sex of course) would be my sex toys! I’ve those really cool ones where you can stick them on the shower wall and really just have at it.

DannyUk2017 · Answer

Never done it to be real, but i had the chance to grab sumtin from under the bed, and when i slide with a hard on...😳... shiiit that Burn... 🤣, since then i swore to myself to never ever.. ever do anything that involves.."tight spaces and hard on"...🤦‍♂️🤣🤣🤣

God_of_Thunder · Answer

I honestly have no idea how common that is, due to not being privvy to other guys' masturbation techniques. I, personally, have never humped anything for the purpose of masturbation, though.

PeteBy · Answer

I was going to say no but deep in my memory banks I remember humping between the mattress and bed when it had a certain texture of sheets on the bed. This was when I was a horny teen but I guess the action of thrusting and the feel of the sheets was pleasant.

I forgot I did that lol

Paul_in_Indy · Answer

when I was younger and hadn’t had sex yet I often tried “positional masturbation “with various pillows large stuffed animals couch cushions and a variety of different “inserts “for penetration. I haven’t really felt the need since I have experienced person-to-person sex. That was mainly about exploring the unknown.

OlderThanILook · Answer

Not common but it happens

Ill_made_Knight · Answer

The only sort of humping w/o penetraion I've done is between my partners legs, either silky / satin panties or lubed in the groove of the vulva. I have used fleshlights of different texture. There are ways to fuck those hands free.

20yearsolder · Answer

Some do, friction is friction. Some like the simulate having sex. Rubbing their penis on something or in something

josephinelcajon · Answer

As a preteen I did it much more often with pillows and a stuffed animal I poked a hole in. In my teens it turned to more stroking. Now I still hump a pillow the thrusting feels great, but stroking is much better to orgasm. Blow up dolls are the same to me. I like edging stroking with my hand best. I can see how a girl would like humping on a pillow.

Th3ft · Answer

Personally I don’t hump things to masturbate but I would gladly rub up on a girl as foreplay and grind the heck out of her sexy little body!

Aerolyn · Answer

No, that's some shit you see dogs do, humping random things.

JustADudePlayinADude · Answer

I don't go around asking other guys about that, but it isn't very common from what I understand. I don't do it is all I know.

humanearth · Answer

A lot of Guys and a lot of girls both hump stuff, for masturbation It's totally normal

FilmGuy93 · Answer

No. Stroking feels nicer, honestly.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

No…. It’s not

Angelo75 · Answer

Yes it is.

Makeushiver · Answer

Never occurred to me. I'm going to try it. Any tips

CloudMassacre · Answer

I hump my long pillow as I spoon it, but I haven’t ever just humped on something that wasn’t a sex toy to masturbate

PetiteMisSmooth546 · Answer

I've never seen it

Is it normal for guys to hump things, instead of jacking off to masturbate?

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