Is it normal for guys to use sex as a determined factor for a relationship?

okay I am asking for a friend and maybe I’m just naive and young and you can call me out on it. I have this friend who is with this guy and she told me that sex was really important to him to the point of when it doesn’t go to that he won’t cuddle with her or be with her. It kinda threw me off a bit when she told me that sex was so important to him and she was worried he was going to breakup with her if he didn’t get what he “needed”. Is this normal or is it a red flag?
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Superb Opinion

  • Sex is important in a romantic relationship, but there is no one-size-fits-all answer to this. Many girls too expect sex during early relationship to make it strong and bonding. Everyone is different, and it ultimately depends on your personal beliefs, physical desires, and the nature of your relationship. There are many reasons why people do not want to have sex. This may include: having a low libido, wanting for period before having sex, being unmarried and wanting to abstain from sex before marriage, but this does not mean that the relationship will be unhealthy. Sexual activity isn’t necessary for a healthy relationship. But it can be important for some. Many people want to have a sexual connection with their romantic partner. Because there is such a variety in our feelings about sex and our capacities for sexual attraction, we all have different approaches to sex, and no approach is wrong. There are many reasons why sex might be an important part of your relationship. For example: It could be an opportunity to bond with your partner. It could be an opportunity to show your partner love and affection. You might feel more secure in your relationship if you are having sex often. It could simply be pleasurable and easy fun. And there are a number of benefits that come with regular sexual activity. Sex offers a lot of benefits outside of pleasure, and there are many reasons why having sex is good for your brain, body, and relationship. Many people have emotional motivations for having sex. There are a variety of emotional benefits of sex, including: It could improve your self-confidence, relieve stress. Sex can be good for body and physical health, too. For example, sex can: Boost immune function, improve heart health, and boost cognitive function. Sex can create an intimacy feedback loop, more sex leads to more sex. But sex is not the only way to have intimacy with your partner. Not everybody needs to have sex in order to have a healthy and happy relationship, but some people do. What is important is that you find a partner who understands your needs and desires, no matter what they are. Open communication is essential for every romantic and sexual relationship. If you both agree, have sex, plenty of sex, or dump him / her.

    • Thank you so much I really appreciate you breaking it down!

Most Helpful Guys

  • I'm not quite sure what the best way to phrase this is. It's not a red flag that he needs sex, or that it's a vital part of the relationship for him- sex kicks the oxytocin and other bonding hormones into a VERY high gear for us; it's almost the other way around for women. You need the bond to have sex, we need to have sex to get the bond. Working out the exact details of that is part of the give and take of a relationship; figuring out the "giving her/him what s/he wants even though I'm not really feeling it right now" that makes partnerships possible.

    What IS a red flag is pulling the brakes on the rest of the relationship because of it. Once you let sex get commoditized, your relationship is in serious trouble. Starting a conversation to renegotiate is one thing, and that may have been what he was trying to do, and either he did so poorly and/or your friend misunderstood. But actively saying "I refuse to give you more of what you want if you won't give me what I want" suggests you're not mature enough for a relationship. If he's willing to accept an "Okay, I think we need to talk about this, are you willing to have a discussion?" (possibly with an apology, depending on how, exactly, the argument went), then it might be salvageable.

    • Thank you for this explanation!!

  • That is a red flag that can be seen from the other side of the globe. Olive thing is that he is horny all the time, but another very different is that he treats his girlfriend differently when she does not give him sex.
    While sex is a part of a relationship, it is not the most important one, not even a necessary one in some cases. What is important is to love and respect your partner. If you are not going to do that because you don't get laid enough, then you are not ready for a relationship.

    • Thank you for breaking down for me, I completely understand where your coming from!!!

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Many young guys do for certain but as we mature this becomes less of a determining factor. For me sex isn't the most critical element of a relationship. Sure I would hope for it to be part of it but just not the most important part.

  • Sex is important to most healthy adults and men are no different, but it should not be the only reason for intimacy and being together. If he's only interested in spending time with her, and with being affectionate, when sex is on the table then it would seem that sex is his only motivation. Take away the sex and what is left? If the answer is nothing then she doesn't really have a relationship, she has an friends with benefits.

    • I was thinking this exact thing thank you!!

  • So itsvalways a touchy subject but essentially most men unless prepared to wait won't be happy being in a sexless relationship as its one of the factors that separate raw friendship from a relationship

    • That’s what I thought too, I thought I was just romanticizing men but I wish they would’ve waited because it’s becoming a problem.

    • But how long do u expect them to wait

  • The guy is selfish and I doubt she always has her desired needs fulfilled.

  • Some guys are gourmets. I never was. However, in good time, if she does not make me cum in some manner, I will go.

  • It should be a determining factor. It shouldn't be THE determining factor.

  • It’s normal, guys need sex to feel loved.

  • Yes, it can be because sex is so important for a relationship.

  • It's more complicated.