Well, if you have trauma you should understand it, analyze it and figure out how exactly its impacting you. Its not going to make it go away but it will help you keep it under control and not make bad decisions. If its due to daddy issues as you have suggested, I would say one, don't rush into relationships because a lot of girls in that position do because they have this strong desire for older male attention (usually the thing they didn't get from their fathers. When you hit puberty all of those traumas get a sexual bent to them (not sure why but they always manage to get tangled up with each other)). Keeping this in mind will help you not make poor decisions or rush into anything.
Two, how normal it is depends on how large the age gap. I mean when I was a teenager I found older women attractive (but I also found women my age attractive (male teenager, I think that is pretty normal for us)), but I wasn't exactly seeking to date them.
Three the issue is how big the gap as it pertains to dating because as long as its legal, its not a big deal as long as you don't see it as a big deal or he sees it as a big deal. The problem is if its a massive age gap that can cause a lot of problems, older men looking to exploit you for sex (not all of them will but obviously some are going to try and take advantage), you two will be at different stages in life (for example at my age guys are looking to settle down and start a family if they haven't already, younger girls want to have fun. It doesn't always work) etc.
It's not wrong. It's actually very natural. Yet society deems it as immoral to think this way, because of what is associated to young and old age. They see it as older men that are experienced in the arts of manipulation, taking advantage of an immature and inexperienced girl in most cases, but that's just not true. Simply put, women are attracted to dominant traits... taller, bigger, stonger, older, confident, able to provide, etc. Men are attracted to submissive traits... shorter, smaller, weaker, younger, wants to be taken care of, etc. How much of an age difference appeals to a person varies on the individual, but in most cases men like those submissive traits and women vice-versa.
My suggestion is to do you. Live your life with no regrets, but always think rationally. What are the pros and cons of my decisions? Are we at different phases of our lives that will impact a relationship with each other negatively? And always be safe and cautious with who you choose. Filter them over and over again until you're sure they're a decent person.
You are right about the biological stuff, but wrong about the morals. There IS a such thing as too young. "Oh society opresses our beautiful human nature,"... uh, yeah, and that's the point. Just because something is a natural, human urge does NOT mean it is acceptable behavior. We are not chimps, dude, we can rise ABOVE our urges. If someone is not considered mature enough to sign their own checks then why is their sexual consent valid?
That's the thing though. Humans are arrogant and think they're above other animals in the animal kingdom. Yes we're more intelligent in the sense we can think about and process abstract concepts in our heads, but we are happiest when we think in simple terms. That being said, I never said there isn't "too old". Obviously a 40 year old man shouldn't date a 13 year old that doesn't even know right, left, up, down. I generally use the rule of "half your age plus 7." Always start with the older person in the equation and you result in the youngest you should date.
I've always been attracted to older guys, even when I was a minor and I don't have any daddy issues.
Personally, I think I've always had an interest because they're typically more mature and have their life together.
@xxmae did u ever date an older guy?
When I say older, I mean they were always in their 20s to early 30s. My boyfriend right now is 27.
@xxmae oh nice. how did u meet a 27 yr old at 19?
my first lover was 44 years old and me just under16, we had sex quite often for 3 years all round good
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!That's not healthy for you. Resist those urges. The differential, at your age, does not create a good dynamic.
It's normal for you to be attracted to them but not necessarily normal for them to be attracted to you. A grown man attracted to a child = abnormal. A grown man attracted to an older teenaged girl = normal, but not allowed, and for good reason.
You have it wrong. It is not abnormal for older guys to be attracted to younger females. Morally it is wrong that's the word you mean
It’s normal, but you have to be careful. A lot of men will try to take advantage of you.
Slow and steady.
Hahah. If you have daddy issues because of trauma, maybe therapy should help? But I rally don’t know, it could just be because older guys seem more mature but I dunno
Normal to have those feelings, as long as they aren't acted upon.
Yeah don’t worry, I was too when I was younger. It’s like the appeal that they can “look after you” or they seem more manly / dominant in some way (at least that’s what it was for me.) I used to have a big crush on my teacher who was 30 when I was 16. As long as you know it’s just a fantasy, that’s fine :)
I had a crush on my mid-40s teacher when I was in high school. I think I always had a thing for older men.
Are you the 15-year old girl who asked this question earlier?
Its okay to find more attractive boys who aren't my age? ↗
Anyway, it's completely normal, so don't worry about it.
I didn’t ask that question, but ty ^^
Is it wrong for you to be attracted to them? No.
Them to be attracted to you and go after you? Yes.
Solid logic
It's not wrong for older to be attracted to younger, but again it's ACTING on the urge that matters. Realize it is wrong despite the human nature.
@BrianMerritt i heard christians say that about homosexualit growing up. Lol. Its a baby step to total acceptance
Well you surely have you issues, but what I fear most is what these older guys would go through if anybody catches a whiff of them enjoying a minor's attention.
Please date people around your age. Life experiences cannot be had until you grow up. When you get a large age difference, maturity becomes a HUGE issue and if one is more or less mature than an older or younger person, red flags should go up.
I think it's quite natural providing you don't act on it.
How old are you and what kind of age we talking?
Age play relationships can be quite fun once you're legal.
15, and mostly 17+
That’s normal.
No. but you need to be less jailbait.
Understand that the fetish may be real, but the reality should not be.
Wdym by being jailbait?
It's not wrong too be attracted too anyone, it's just nature.😒As far as it being normal, you may want too look at the social - emotional health of the ☢️MASSES☣️ in this🌎🌍of ours, before espiring to be 🤢NORMAL🤮.
Give yourself some credit in your desire too make well informed decisions, and know that there is no ONE RIGHT ANSWER, too life's complex issues, when it comes too growing up, and comming of age.
It's normal. As long as they're not pursuing you.
It's not uncommon. Doesn't mean it's a good idea to pursue it though.
Yes, just means you're normal
Yes. Young women tend to be attracted to father like figures. They like the dominance of an older guy because they feel vulnerable and the older guy is their protector. But there is also a mystery about being with an older man that is a bit kinky. Furthermore, there is the jealous desire to be older and fully in their womanhood with larger breasts, experience, and confidence... this wishful thinking of desire that a young girl wants to be makes a young girl who is 18 desire a guy who is 30 years old and confident. It is her way of living a fantasy of "playing house" or living the fantasy of being a wife.
I think in older women this is seen in their desire to have affairs with married men. A woman in their 30s may have an affair with a powerful or rich man who is older in their 40s or 50s because they are living that same desire of being a fantasy wife.
I personally don't think anyone under 18 should be dating anyone older than them (who is 18 ) but that is still up to you
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