Is it normal for men to fantasize about other women during sex (like porn-stars and such)?

[Anonymous]

I'm an attractive girl and my boyfriend is always reminding me of how attractive he finds me and we have sex on a regular basis...

The thing that has been on my mind recently is how he does follow women that post a lot of sexual pictures online and it isn't to get off to (I recently just got over it being an issue because I realized it's not going to stop), he has told me that it's just a constant tease until he can have sex with me which obviously made me think that he's thinking of those women during sex and while it may seem harmless, it doesn't make it any less offensive. I did ask him about it once and he denied it but I really do have my doubts since his sex-drive decreases when he doesn't have that stuff to look at.

Like obviously he's still having sex with me and he's with me and loves me for more than just sex but his interest in sex decreased when he stopped looking at that stuff and has gradually increased again now that he's looking at it again.

I still love him and he still loves me, but it just feels a little hurtful thinking that alone I'm not enough and that he needs images of perfect naked women just to get his sex-drive back up.

[Anonymous]

Obviously. I do it all the time or else I could never get arouse and have sex with an average woman who gets me in bed with me. I would get limp if I paid attention to normal lady

[Asker]

Okay but assume she isn't just average/normal, would it still apply or would you still need to look at those things to be more interested in sex over a longer period of time?

[Opinion Owner]

She is slightly better than average woman next door? Is she fit, in shape, has perky tight boobs, small areola, perfect hairless levs and pussy?

[Asker]

My body almost fits that description, save for the perfect hairless body because no women comes hairless. It's all removed in some way - not many choose the natural look. So maybe my boyfriend is just blind by how lucky he has it.

[Opinion Owner]

Are you tall? Slim yet curvy? What's your breasts size and waist? I hope you was your legs and pussy and keep it baby smooth?

[Mr_Guy]

Sex fantasies are complex. There is no right or wrong in that matter.

[Asker]

They certainly are "complex", but I don't understand why you would feel the need to look at explicit (NSFW) images if you're supposedly attracted to your partner. I can still arouse him, but he's just less interested in sex unless I initiate it myself when he doesn't have those things to view.

[Mr_Guy]

I would say that he created in his mind a idealistic sex way that just exists in the internet. Besides from that, I can't really say he's wrong... Sex is complex and there's no answer of right or wrong... He's not betraying your trust, so...

[Cammy137]

I've never felt the need to fantasize during sex

[bankrollsupreme]

Something like porn stars are nothing to worry about. You should worry if it's like your mom or close relative. Just saying. . .

[007James007]

Better than him taking Viagra right? Some guys need a little boost if you know what I mean

[cootjuh]

He sound a bit addicted to porn. I personally like to get off to real girls

[AskMeAnswerMe]

Yes it's normal and very common

[Asker]

Does it matter how attractive your partner is?

[AskMeAnswerMe]

No that doesn't matter as we're all gonna find other people attractive even when were in a relationship. But what's not healthy is looking at pornography

[Asker]

Everybody looks at pornography though, that's something I've already come to terms with. It seems like the guy I'm dating has an unhealthy relationship with pornography or just images of naked (half-naked) women in general and there is just nothing I can do about it. It's something he has come to rely on in order to be interested in sex. When he doesn't view it, his sex-drive goes down to the point where I'd have to initiate it each time. When he does view it he becomes more interested in having sex with me. Maybe I'm overthinking things. If it's normal to fantasize in bed then maybe I'm blowing this out of proportion. I know I can't talk to him about it.

[AskMeAnswerMe]

Just because it seems that everybody does something doesn't make it healthy it's been proven that porn brings negative to the mind... and the reason his sex drive changes when he doesn't wath is because his mind has gotten use to the overdriven stimulus.

[Asker]

He had an addiction to porn during his years in college and he says he has broken himself from that addiction, but it's clear that he hasn't because of how much something as little as this can impact his sex-drive. He can see the line between fantasy and reality, but not having that fantasy negatively affects his reality and that's where it becomes unhealthy. Unfortunately there is nothing I can do about it besides just leaving him if it were to bother me enough. I've asked him to give it up and he did for a short period but always found a loophole so now I have given up on trying to break him from it.

[mindrak]

I believe everybody is different and if you asked him and he is happy with everything just trust him. Relationship is about trust and women have usually tendency to overthink everything..

[Anonymous]

No. He doesn't think about them.

They're not real women, they're images, stimulation. When in the midst of the act you're his focus.

[Anonymous]

Maybe talk to him about what he likes in the images, his fantasies, desires that he might think you wouldn’t be interested in.

[Asker]

I've done everything he has asked of me sexually and each time I've asked him he has requested nothing else - he always tells me that what we do now is fine and says that if he wasn't enjoying what we do now then he wouldn't get off. The images are typically of women that look significantly different than me and obviously I can't look like those women which is probably what makes me feel so badly about it. He says to me "you have porn star tits, a great round ass, a perfect p*ssy, a great body, and are the most attractive girl I've ever been with" and that he only sees them as a sex thing but he sees me as a person which he loves on a deeper level and that I need to be less worried about it.

[Anonymous]

EVERY man wants a slut in bed.

[Asker]

Not sure what you mean by "slut" honestly, since a slut is nothing short of a whore.

[Opinion Owner]

Every man wants a whore in bed.

[Asker]

Sounds pretty bad if you want a girl that has been around the block with a bunch of dudes.

[Opinion Owner]

Welcome to the real world. This is what men want. Don't shoot the messenger.

[Asker]

I think most men would be happier to have a girl that isn't interested in banging every dude that greets them. Oh well, it is what it is.

[Opinion Owner]

You can think whatever you want. But just look at reality. Go out clubbing and see who the men are attracted to. ALL men love sluts.

[007James007]

Wrong! I prefer a Woman in the streets but a Freak in the bed 😍

[Opinion Owner]

@007James007 You kind of botched that, but OK. lol