Is it normal that sometimes we have bad sex?

Anonymous

My only sex partner is my husband. And he can go without sex for many days, while I cannot. Even when we manage to do it cause my needs are more. Sometimes it's great, but sometimes he can't hold the boner long enough or it's not hard enough. He told me that it's cause I take time to get turned on. Is that true or is it something else? Also is it normal that the guy can go without sex for long? Ps: I know he is attracted to me cause we are always touching each other.

Updates:

+1 y

by the way we are in long distance relationship so we meet every few months, first few days of meeting he is always so good and craves it multiple times and every day. Later the month he is just happy even if not doing it. And even if we do, it's sometimes great and sometimes boner issues.

0 2

Most Helpful Girl

SueShe Master
+1 y
Perhaps you should take a look at why you have such discrepancies in needs for intimacy.

Being without sex for a number of consecutive days is totally normal in the age bracket that you give. Having frequent sexual needs is less normal but not everyone is wired the same. Some are capable to control their libido while others, like you, are incapable, or not willing to control it.

There are a number of factors that impact the sexual need, from health issues, to stress, to worries, religion beliefs, family and others.

It is true that both guys and girls can go for a longer period without being intimate and there is nothing wrong with that.

Perhaps you can change your diet in order to reduce your libido. There are a number of foods that can indeed influence on the reduction of libido.
1 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  Interesting, never thought of it in that way. Maybe I crave every other day cause we meet after months, and I expect him to be crazy after sex like he normally is in the first week during his visits
- SueShe
  +1 y
  Okay, now that you updated your question, the context appears in a different light. It is normal that when you don't see each other, the first intimate relation is more on the "wild" side and that the subsequent ones decrease in intensity. I still think it is fairly normal that not all guys are "sex freaks" and perhaps that your husband has a smaller "attention span" than what you would expect after being separated for a longer period of time. But again, this is normal and depends on a number of factors.
- Asker
  +1 y
  Thank you, makes sense :)
- Show All Show Less
- Asker
  +1 y
  Yeah generally has a low attention span, his default is that since a kid.

Most Helpful Guys

triff Xper 7
+1 y
It sounds like he is comfortable with you His mad for it after a break and then feels relaxed His bone issues can be stress that he's not in the mood but he knows you are Now you be truthful what is your worse fear
1 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  You make so much sense, he feels stressed and does it when he knows I'm in for it but he might not be. That's true cause every time he really wants to do it, it's fine. My worst fear is that we are unable to do it and he thinks it's cause it's me
- triff
  +1 y
  No his accusation would be unfounded He would blame you out of his own inadequate performance to relieve embarrassment So never thank that Your definitely not the problem His a very lucky guy to have you
- Asker
  +1 y
  You are very sweet, much appreciated. Thanks for the reassurance. It made me smile today. And trust your words
- Show All Show Less
- triff
  +1 y
  Your welcome any time I'm here most nights One thing don't call me sweet I've always been told that your the sweetest kindest guy I've ever met But haha
Berethor Master
+1 y
Your husband clearly have a performance issues, maybe you should see a doctor.

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AManIsAlwaysEager
0 0 0 0
- Berethor
  +1 y
  As for the update, so you said that cannot without sex for many days, and then you say that meet every few months? it don't makes sense, and why you don't live with him if he is your husband?
- Asker
  +1 y
  Okay so we are different countries cause of visa issues I can't live there for now, waiting for things to work out. So he visits every 6 months and stays for a month
- Asker
  +1 y
  And I mean, within that month or so.
- Show All Show Less
- Berethor
  +1 y
  I see, it's really a difficult situation, so when he is close to you it bother you more when he not have sex with you for many days, because you get teased by his presence and/or because he stays for only a month, you feel like you should use this time to it maximum and have sex each day for this month. Looks like it take your husband a lot of time to receiver is energy, and he is not neglect you by choice, it's actually hard for him to get hard after the first sex spree. It's not normal, most guys would like to have sex with their wife everyday, especially if they didn't saw her for 6 months.
- Asker
  +1 y
  Yeah maybe I just have to accept that he has a lower drive. And maybe as you said when we are living permanently together there won't be much pressure on him
- Berethor
  +1 y
  Maybe both, at least he able to keep it up sometimes, some guys not able to keep it up at all. :)
- Asker
  +1 y
  You make me feel better. That's very true. I'd be more grateful at least that he tries his best for my sake
- Berethor
  +1 y
  Glad to help, yea I think that he doing his best for your sake, and you can tell him that you appreciate his efforts. Do you still able to get some enjoyment from the times when the sex is lacking? it still better than nothing or you prefer to have sex more rarely if it means that he can last for longer on those times? maybe when he able to keep it up long enough you could thank him for that and tell him that you enjoyed the sex, and when he not able to keep it up long enough you could tell him that you appreciate his efforts. :)
  
  tvtropes.org/.../ItsTheJourneyThatCounts
- Asker
  +1 y
  I always do that, but I will keep it in mind 😊😊😊😊

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

0 7

LiamSawyer Guru
+1 y
Sounds to me like he has some early ED problems.
0 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  When we have sex after long, no problem he can go on for a really long time and it's great. So that time he has no issue with boner at all, that's why I'm confused. I said let's go see a doc he got mad. And I'm also confused cause the times when we having sex after long and often he is super great, no complaints
- LiamSawyer
  +1 y
  Sorry, what do you mean by after long?
- LiamSawyer
  +1 y
  Do you mean after a long time of not having sex?
- Show All Show Less
- LiamSawyer
  +1 y
  Different things can cause him to lose his boner such as stress, high blood pressure, medication, heavy smoking, regular alcohol consumption, excessive masturbation or a poor diet. It's not unusual to go a couple of days without sex but many days is unusual and may indicate an underlying problem. You're at an age that is the peak of female desire for sex and unless there is a problem most guys don't show signs of less desire or need until late thirties or fourties. Some couples are still sexually active well into their seventies.
- Asker
  +1 y
  Meeting after months I mean, cause right now it's long distance
- LiamSawyer
  +1 y
  Long distance relationship can be very difficult. So you have to go weeks without any sex sometimes. I can understand why at first he wants it multiple times and every day. If I were him I'd want it two or three times per day every day. I just find it difficult to figure out why he seems to taper off like it seems that does and starts to have boner problems. You can feel free to follow if you want to and then you can message me any time you'd like to chat.
- LiamSawyer
  +1 y
  When he has boner problems does he at least go down on you and give an orgasm or two orally using his tongue and lips.
- Asker
  +1 y
  He always tries to make up and make my happy by doing other things. I have no complaints
stuntbrain Yoda
+1 y
Get divorced like a normal couple
0 0 2 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  Will not be divorcing someone who makes me happy otherwise, over sex lol.
- stuntbrain
  +1 y
  Happy people don't need internet strangers to explain why their relationship problems are normal
- stuntbrain
  +1 y
  But what do I know? I'm one of them right?
- Show All Show Less
- stuntbrain
  +1 y
  Good luck
SHREYASH007 Xper 7
+1 y
looks like you are from india if yes i will tell you the issue
1 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  Yeah sure, go ahead
- SHREYASH007
  +1 y
  your husband is all ok just the thing is when he abstains from sex for long time the urge is multifold which leads him to have more sex after meeting and start including more foreplay so that you can get turned on faster like dry humping from back etc i won't get into detail and yes one more thing stress can be a huge factor for weaker boners, your guy needs to have some cardio /jogging/running etc to maintain blood flow in all parts. DON'T use aphrodisiacs like viagara ever if reduces capability gradually, more protein diet.
- Asker
  +1 y
  Yeah he is so cute he willing to try viagra, but I said never. And he says once he starts exercising it will be better. So let's see, less worried now. Thanks
- Show All Show Less
- SHREYASH007
  +1 y
  no viagara redeuce stress do it for fun not out of stress buster technique or sexual frustration protein rich diet include foreplay and for god's sake stay together, distance relationship is shit
- Asker
  +1 y
  Yes we are trying our best to get this shit immigration sorted. We know we can't do it anymore. Yeah will focus on doing it out of love and fun and nothing else. So even when we have bad sex days we should not be dwelling over it too much? Will do the whole boosting thing. :D
Valnac Guru
+1 y
Have him try Viagra.
0 0 0 0
Anonymous
+1 y
It's not always going to be "great". I don't think you have anything to worry about in this case. He simply has a lower sex drive I think and nothing more.
1 0 0 0
Anonymous
+1 y
If you take too long then how can you be hornier than him? That would make any hard on go down, some guys can awhile without if they are tired or stressed
1 0 0 0
Anonymous
+1 y
I don't think that's true at all. Even if it did lose his erection during foreplay, he should still be able to get hard again real fast.
1 0 0 0