Sexual Relationships
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Is it normal to have a higher sex drive than my boyfriend?

Society has basically ingrained in everyone that men are hyper sexual beings and all they want is sex.
i feel like I want sex all the time and I’m always ready and horny for it if my boyfriend wants. Lately my boyfriend doesn’t want to everyday which is fine, but we go spans of 4-7 days without doing it , even if I sleep in something sexy. I know I’m sexy but when he doesn’t seem to care about what I look like or want to touch me, I feel like I’m not attractive enough or desirable. Sometimes he looks at my naked body and he just seems used to it and like he may not find me attractive anymore. 4-7 days may not be a long time to go without sex but to me it kind of is since I’m so hyper sexual. I also understand he may not want it all the time but like I said society makes it seem like men should and if he doesn’t want it I’m the problem.

is it normal to have a higher sex drive than my boyfriend? If so, how do I calm my sexual frustrations?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • It's unusual, but far from unheard of. If he's not up for it if and when you are, then you've got a compatibility issue. The key then is to see if you can work out something to keep it from being a compatibility *problem* (or to solve it, if it already is). Now, getting an erection is actually a VERY complicated physiological process that needs a lot of systems working together to happen, which is part of why it took so long to develop Viagra. It's also why a guy can react so badly to you asking for more sex; he might think it carries the implication that he's not enough for you, regardless of whether you mean it. If this is your only problem, then it's not with HIM, it's with your sex life- but insecurity's a bitch to deal with at the best of times, and he already be feeling low about it if he knows you want more. So the problem is twofold: you want more sex, but you don't want to make him feel bad about not keeping up with you.

    So what's to be done? Well, he's got fingers and a tongue, doesn't he? If he's good at stimulating you that way, you can ask him for that more often, either as part of a bigger sexual encounter or a casual thing in itself (the idea of the quick blowjob for-its-own-sake is deeply entrenched in our culture; no reason it shouldn't go the other way, too). If he's not, well, hey, there's a reason to practice more. Lots of people have something of a hangup about this; either they sink all oral sex must reciprocated 1-1 immediately, or they think it's somehow WRONG if sex isn't entirely mutual every time. The core idea, that sex should be mutually satisfying, is a good one, but it ignores the pleasure that comes of giving pleasure, and that delayed gratification is often all the more intense for it. You can even incorporate that- have him bring you off, and incorporate some level of teasing, to raise his own desire (playing it up a bit can help- don't fake anything, but make sure he KNOWS when what he does it working; that'll usually get HIS juices flowing, too), so that when you DO have sex together, he'll want all the more strongly. It's a delicate line to walk, though- you want to encourage him, but have him wait until you're both doing it together. Push too hard, and he'll just go masturbate on his own, and possibly resent you for it. Clear communication and cooperation are, as ever, the watchwords.

    Another idea is to appeal to his other instincts; to make a game of it. I know a couple who had the opposite problem (well, the same problem, but with the sexes flipped), who took to having her use him to play through the "Cock Hero" video series (which is a type of porn that plays music over pornography, with the idea of stroking one's penis to the beat and reaching the end without ejaculating); it appealed to her competitive desires, and got him off, and brought them together, since it was something they did as a couple. Weird? Yes. Cute and charming in a bizarre way? Yes. Obviously, that wouldn't translate directly to your situation, but thinking up something along those lines, where there's more than just sex involved, can help bring him onboard and let you both get what you want.

  • Whether you believe the Bible is the word of God or just observations of human nature in story form? Genesis states in the Adam and Eve story that God was intent on Adam an Eve remaining nude for their gardening and copulating to populate. When Lucifer convinced them that God did not love them they demonstrated their shame by hiding in the bushes and munching on the fruit from the tree of knowledge. God never changed his mind about Copulate to Populate. It was more like "OK, if you are going to cover your bodies (Eve would no be able to see Adam's desire) then I have to increase Eve's desire. So the answer to your question is, once the hormones start to flow, it is quite normal. Society's conditioning creates the "'I shouldn't" a dichotomy that creates many problems for men and women.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Yes its normal I've never met a guy that has a higher drive then me

    • Really?

    • @Gramkabir yeah I'm a sex addict so my drive is extremely high compared to everyone else

    • How do you manage your high sex drive...

    • Show All

  • Mine is extremely high too. I'm yet to find a guy that can keep up.

    • Really... High means how high is your sex drive?

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 18

  • Where the hell were you when I was 19?

  • A man is always eager trope, a 4-7 days without sex sounds low for a young couple.

  • Typically it's not normal for a girl to have a higher sex drive than a man. If you're horny, entice him. Actually start the process. Kiss him, touch him, lick and nibble. Get him turned on

    • Yeah I've tried that and sometimes he’ll just straight up tell me he’s tired and not in the mood which I absolutely respect

  • Women definitely want and enjoy sex every bit as much as men.

  • It’s possible

  • It's common enough. It is a problem that you'll have to talk with your partner about to find some kind of middle ground or you're going to go mad with sexual frustration and potentially resent him for it. I've been in the same boat in previous relationships and have only met one who could keep up.

  • I know so many girls in your boat. But I want to fuck all the time so I’ve never left a girl wanting more. I don’t get it. I’ll have sex 6+ times a day on the weekend anyways. I basically never don’t have sex daily when dating.

  • yeah there are a lot of women like you out there believe it or not. but make sure your b/f is healthy cause lots of times low libido could be a sign of low testosterone or other health issues

  • no, but don't worry about it as he will be the same later on in life

  • It’s normal! Just as long as you two come up with a solution so you can both be satisfied!

  • Of course, why shouldn't it be normal? EVERY person is different, regardless of gender. When will humanity finally understand that 😅 No offense meant 🙈😘

  • Absolutely

  • Don't worry everyone is different so it's quite normal

  • It's not unusual for that to happen, and I can imagine how annoying it can be.

  • normal for a girl to have more sex drive than her boyfriend

  • Women want to have sex way more often than a man does I think.

  • Welcome to the world of most men.

    Your situation is not abnormal, per se, just uncommon. It sounds like you have an unusually high sex drive for a woman, and your boyfriend has an unusually low sex drive for a man. You are sexually mismatched. You just need to decide whether that is acceptable to you. You can't force him to have sex more, so he is in the power position. It is usually the woman who is in that position though.

  • It is normal and your boyfriend is very lucky to have you

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