Is it ok for a trainer to ask you if you felt the stretch in your private area?

[xxrizxx]

He demonstrated the stretch to me and then asked me to do it so while I was doing it he asked me where I felt the stretch and before I could even answer he himself said "your private area?" I got shy and uncomfortable and told him I felt in in my inner thighs (which was true as I've always felt it there since I began doing that particular stretch months ago). I've done this stretch multiple times before but no trainer has asked me something like that. Should I complain against him to the management?

[Paul_in_Indy]

Did he say “private area“ or “groin?“ Certainly, you need to stretch muscles in your groin. That’s normal trainer stuff. On the other hand, I don’t doubt that he’s probably attracted to you. That would be a significant danger in being a physical trainer, I think.

[Anonymous]

Some stretches can obviously be felt in the groin area and he should have phrased it that way. When I was in physical therapy, the therapist would explain where I should feel the stretch. It’s obvious when guys are interested though and you’re picking up the signs. If you’re paying for his services and he’s making you uncomfortable with his personal interest, that’s unprofessional on his part and you shouldn’t be hesitant about complaining or asking for a different trainer.

[SarahSizzle]

Most would say a stretch in your groin, saying private area is kinda weird!

[xxrizxx]

I've never had anyone tell me if I felt it in my groin either not even a female trainer

[xxrizxx]

So from a male to a female is just inappropriate

[SarahSizzle]

If it made you feel uncomfortable then that's all you need to know. It would make me feel weird and I would be asking for a new trainer. I've had trainers say groin to me before but you can just tell from the tone and behaviour it was in a professional manner

[xxrizxx]

Even I've had trainers say groin, shin etc. but that was just while explaining some movements they never asked me directly if I'm feeling something in my groin area

[OfMiceandMen]

Not cool! If anything he should show you the stretch and simply do a sweeping motion on his own body with his hand saying, you should feel the stretch in these areas, legs groin etc. Not ask you if you feel it in your private area.

[xxrizxx]

Exactly what I thought

[OfMiceandMen]

Has he been training for long? Maybe it's just his inexperience coming through on how to convey the message?

[xxrizxx]

He's like one of the most experienced trainers the gym has and he's the most qualified too.

[xxrizxx]

So you can't really expect a silly mistake like that from him

[OfMiceandMen]

Nope, sounds like he's using his position as a way to meet women. Not cool at all!

[summiter]

It is a bit weird. I'd tell him that that is not his business and see where it goes.

[Messianic_Monk]

If he said it in a clinical way with no sexual connotations then I'd think you're safe.

If there was innuendo? You should either get a new trainer or have a woman and guy present with you just to be safe.

[xxrizxx]

And how would you be able to tell the difference if it was clinical or innuendo?

[xxrizxx]

I clearly thought it was sexual in nature because I've observed his behavior with me as well and I personally don't think it was necessary for him to say that at all. I've never even had a female trainer say that.

[Messianic_Monk]

Typically the way I go about it is I pay attention to what words they say. For instance, I had a scare with testicular cancer. I went to the doctor and she explained everything to me using the clinical terms unflinchingly. Penis, testicles, etc. She used all of those words unflinchingly and said it in a monotone voice. Clearly no arousal there. If he's using slang or talking about certain acts that could be interpreted as sexual (like if he's talking about "tension" down there and puts emphasis on it or seems aroused by it) then I'd run.

[Messianic_Monk]

Did he sound aroused when talking about it? Did he put weird emphasis on certain words? Like did he say something like "this next stretch causes a lot of...*teeennnsssion* down there 😉" or something like that?

[xxrizxx]

When I said I feel it in my inner thighs he repeated that slowly "inner thighs"

[Messianic_Monk]

Yeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhh... that's weird. I think the best thing to do would be to bring a woman and a man to talk to him about it. Basically say that you are uncomfortable but that you're not accusing him of anything and that maybe you've misunderstood him and that you want him to explain himself.

[JPresidente]

While it does seem inappropriate, from his perspective he may not have meant it that way. See if he does something else over the top before saying something.

[xxrizxx]

Like I said he's done several other things too to indicate that he's interested me

[JPresidente]

If you're interested in him back, then don't say anything. Are you interested in him?

[xxrizxx]

Well would you consider him holding both my hands for no apparent reason over the top?

[Jamie05rhs]

No, it's not. And yes, you should complain.

[BJP21]

Is he doing it to be a perv? If so YES do it!

[xxrizxx]

How can I tell that? I felt as though it was sexual in nature there was no need for him to say that plus I've observed his behavior with me.

[BJP21]

Tell the management 100%

[xxrizxx]

Secondly this is not the first time he's doing something like this, last week he held both my hands firmly for no apparent reason why I was doing bench press and completed a few reps with me together.

[Abc99]

He wanna stretch your private area

[Dav1dTh0ma389]

Your upper thigh, or groin area? Sure

[Thirsty4more23]

Not to be mean about it but maybe you two should just get together and see what happens? Sorry if that doesn’t really help your question.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Yes that ok cause he was tryin to make sure you felt your groin muscles stretching

[Anonymous]

No, that's creepy as hell.

[Opinion Owner]

Its just too personal in my opinion.

[xxrizxx]

Exactly that too from a male to a female

[Opinion Owner]

It’s very pervy too.

[xxrizxx]

I agree