Is it ok to fantasise about somebody else, if you don't act upon it?

We often feel as though they are being disloyal or unfaithful to our partner in some way, if we have fantasies in our head while being intimate.

We are all sexual beings and nearly all of us have fantasies — they serve to create desire and arousal and in some cases (but definitely not all) they can be inspirational.

Some feel shame that the things they fantasise about are things they would never do in real life, or are at odds with their political and social beliefs.

This is the nature of fantasies — they often contain things from our shadow side that are incorporated into erotic imagery.

Rape fantasies are a good example of this. Nancy Friday's book Women on Top contains the fantasies sent in from women all around the world and almost one third of the book is about rape fantasies.

None of those people would like that experience to happen in real life, yet somehow fantasising about it, becomes a major turn on.

Some people even use fantasy to take back power after traumatic or abusive situations in their life.

An important thing to note, is that we cannot control the thoughts that come into our minds. We can only control how we respond to them!! 💯❤️

You know this subject is ever lasting, GO!! 🤣😍
Is it ok to fantasise about somebody else, if you dont act upon it?
0 6

Superb Opinion

  • A girlfriend in my 20's told me of a fantasy that she had of me and my best friend of several years starting in junior high school. She 'visualized' me sucking him off, and I went along with her in her fantasy, and I'm sure she masturbated and orgasmed to it many times. I loved the fact that she had that kind of sexual fantasy and 'WISH I had married her!!!

Most Helpful Guy

  • I hardly fantasize about anybody for the most part.. Maybe a woman I've seen around for a while and started to fancy, I might start to fantasize.. But in a relationship, I prefer not to let my mind drift that way for anybody.. It'll only make whatever feelings you have inside stronger for that person..

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes of course you can have whatever fantasies you want.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 18
  • It's fine to fantasize about others during sex sometimes but I learned the hard way to keep them to myself. It can hurt your partner's feelings and make them feel that they're not good enough.

    • Yes, you vr to bed open from the beginning about these things. And constantly communicate. Because things can change, also.

    • I just remember when I was younger and first moved in with my ex-wife. We had been having lots of sex and once she asked "You sure got an extra boost of energy at the end there, what happened?" I told her "I just started thinking about every girl who has a nice ass in my high school." She was pissed at me and hurt, I didn't understand why at the time, but I learned that there's some things you don't say while in a relationship.

    • Hmm, I understand

  • I think it’s okay

  • Sure, why not, I figure. :)

  • I fantasize about others, but only when I'm enjoying myself solo. When with a partner, I concentrate on pleasuring them.

  • If you have. to do it during sex that's fucked up. I've fantasized about someone else, but not during sex. You have to actually think about your fantasy which means it's definitely conscious thinking.

  • Short answer, yes. Just don't act on it.

  • Yes, it seems to be very common.

  • all action starts with thought, and turns into temptation and eventually action. not to say that every fantasy means ur gonna do it but every action started as a thought.

  • I have fantasies too

    • Oi missy, you know you can't just say that... 😜 Spill!! 😘❤️

    • @LovingJo You have to DM me cause I don’t want everyone to know

    • 😉 OK

    • Show All
  • I think it's fine

  • Yes, its ok to fantasize about somebody else.

    What makes it NOT okay is when it becomes an unhealthy delusional obsession breaking with reality.

    Worse, if the fantasy recipient does NOT want the attention!

  • sure... just don't let others know. Nothing wrong with a little self loving while doing it though lol

  • I've fantasise that i couldnt do with girlfriend or wife.. i wish i can clear this in my mind

  • It’s totally fine to have fantasies and fantasize about other people but you have to communicate if you plan on going through with this. Like for me I have a fantasy that I would love my wife or girlfriend to complete that I always get judged for and can’t help that I want to see it happen.

  • Yes, this way u ask your self what you would like to experience.

  • taboo, forbidden hidden behind a sex makes the sex magical, its always there, although people not express it openly, i love dark sex.

  • Of course, no harm

  • I have fantasies al

  • I have fantasies about my coworker and my neighbor and would never act on them but I do imagine all sorts of things.

    • Why wouldn't you do anything?

    • I’m with someone right now and so are they.

    • OK. Do they think about you too then?

    • Show All
  • It's fine to fantasize about it for the women and fine to act on it for the men.

    I haven't done it yet but planning one day.