Is it ok to realize your sexuality after years of thinking you’re straight?

Lmao sorry, what a long question. 💀 ANYWAYS, I’m 18. My whole life I thought I was straight. But here’s the thing, I’ve had feelings for girls in the past. But I never passed them off as crushes since I assumed you had to be sexually attracted to someone in order to like them. So I just thought: “I don’t have a crush on her since I don’t find her sexually attractive”. But then I realized that I’m not sexually attracted to guys either. I haven’t found anyone sexually attractive if I’m honest. I did some research, and came across the term “Asexual”. After learning what it meant, I just knew that I was asexual. I just know I am, it makes sense to me. I also learned that you could JUST be romantically interested in someone, resulting in me realizing I’m biromantic. Now I know that I don’t have to be sexually attracted to someone in order to like them. I’m an Asexual Biromantic.

Basicallyyyyy, if you don’t know what that means, it means that I don’t feel sexual attraction to anyone BUT I am romantically interested in more than just the opposite sex.

BUT, I’m just wondering. Is it normal for me to have believed I was straight for a wholeeee 18 years of my existence and to suddenly realize my sexuality in just one month? Like, is it supposed to take me longer or? What if my friends don’t believe me? Or accept me?

I don't know, I don’t have anyone to really ask or anything. So my dumba*s thought, why not ask a bunch of strangers on a random app :D
Is it ok to realize your sexuality after years of thinking you’re straight?
Updates:
+1 y
oh heck, thanks to everyone who commented !! this has been stressing me out for a little while, so i'm glad to know that it's normal :)
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Well you only 18 years old, and yours years as a child don't count, children are asexual by default, "your whole life", in many places the age of consent is 18, so it's not look you long at all, many women come out of the closet only after they was married for many years and had children, in fact it's more rare to hear about a girl who known that she is lesbian or asexual at such young age, in a in a sense it's better that you know about it so early, as it looks like you didn't find out about that in the hard way, that said, this knowledge does not means that your life is going to be easy, your chance of finding someone who would tolerate your asexuality is low. Yes you don’t have to be sexually attracted to someone in order to like them, but most people are not interested in a relationship that don't satisfy them, that's means that most people are going to turn you down after they hear that you are asexual, as what you have to offer them is subpar in comparison to what they can get from a relationship with someone sexual.

  • Dude ofc, im only 17 and i've been telling myself i'm straight for years until i realized i was pan a few months ago

Most Helpful Girls

  • I think it is ok. In fact, some people don't realize what sexuality they are until they're a lot older. Some people don't even know until they're in their 20s or 30s. I knew most of my sexuality when I was younger, even before I had my first same sex crush. But I realized I was demiromantic when I was 18 or 19. So yeah, when you're older you can realize what your sexuality is (or the rest of it). I think it'd be more weird for people to expect others to know theirs at a certain age, just like how people expect us to have already dated or have sex at certain ages. Everyone figures out at different ages.

  • I think it's totally normal as well. But I also think that it's a bad Idea to put yourself in those categorys. You are what you are and you should not try to fit some scientific terms. Just be what you want to be. Maybe you get sexually attracted to girls in the future, maybe to guys, maybe to both or none. Then please don't think: "I'm Asexual, this can't be right"

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 14
  • I think it's very normal to realize that "late". You should definitely talk to some close friends about it. I don't think they won't believe you

  • Your whole life up to the age of EIGHTEEN?
    Gosh, you are WAY to old to learn something about yourself.

  • Have you ever even masturbated? Like seriously zero interest? That could spell problems with any romantic interests, and you might have to specifically date only other Asexuals, many of which don't practice romance either, so it's a very shallow pool.

  • After all these years of thinking I was straight, I discovered that I must be a Lesbian.Why? I like this too damn much.

    Is it ok to realize your sexuality after years of thinking you’re straight?Is it ok to realize your sexuality after years of thinking you’re straight?
  • I believe that a majority of kids don't know even who they are by the age of 20, so assuming that everyone else knows their sexuality by the age of 8 or something is complete bogus.
    I don't know in what kind of environment you've been living, but I have a nagging suspicion that you didn't interact with boys very much, or had fairly negative experiences with them.
    When you enters puberty, your body starts experiencing things that it hadn't before. So for a majority of people knowing their sexuality is nearly impossible to know at a tender age of before 18. Some still don't know until their later years.

  • You are smart your choice not theirs.

  • Ya I mean I think you're going off the rails a bit looking too far into it. You could just be like a lot of people and are only sexually interested when romantically involved with a partner, etc a relationship. That is called demisexual I believe, and I think that might be your scenario.

    • Yeah, I was thinking about that too. I haven’t been in a serious relationship yet, so there’s always that possibility too.

    • Ya like I'm personally not as sexually attracted to a partner unless I'm in a relationship, there's only one way to find out, but the thing is relationships will start out more as friends and slowly build into something, possibly, depends on how things turn out

  • This sounds so dumb. You just have never been with a man before
    Get a boyfriend and see how fast you start feelings sexually attracted

  • Yes, it's your body and spirit. Nobody elses.

  • I realized im a lesbian. 😄👍

    • So you realized you're a girl who likes girls? Damn that must be sobering epiphany. Good luck on your gender journey.

    • @msfuntastic nah im a guy. Lol

  • Its very normal. Eventually you will meet someone, male or female, that you will have both romantic and sexual feelings for. Give it time, and relax - it will happen.

  • It is best to realize you are heterosexual.

  • It's your life, one life, you don't want to spend the rest of days regretting it even if it's your last day alive.
    So there's nothing wrong in it.

  • It took me until I was 30 before I fully understood my sexuality. So good on you for figuring it out before then.

  • It's never to late to realize you are.