Is it okay not to give blowjobs?

I have never given a blowjob. I never want to. I think it’s degrading. I’ll never force a man to go down on me, but it is one of my favorite things. Would you date a girl that wouldn’t go down on you but loved when you went down on her?
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I definitely know it’s unfair. That’s not my point. I find it degrading because it looks disgusting to do, there’s no way to do it “romantically,” and guys always say suck my dick like it’s a punishment. Girls don’t usually say lick my pussy to mean fuck you. And I’ve had several guys with nasty smelling dicks wanting me to suck it. I didn’t even wanna touch, let alone put it in my mouth. That ones on you boys. My boyfriend doesn’t seem to have a problem with it.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Quick fix: Don't be with guys who TELL you to suck your dick or EXPECT it. Be with one may ASK for you to do so and doesn't find it to be a necessity. I'm married and quite frankly I love sucking my man's cock, I love seeing his face. It can be romantic, for me it's not like the pornos I don't let my saliva or his precum cover his shaft or my face (in other words nothing sloppy, only intimate.) Here's a little story about a woman from my work:
    She's young, has a good sex drive, however, she happened to fall in love with an older gentlemen who is incapable of getting it up. I referred her to a local sex shop so she picked up a vibrator, she still wanted him to be a part of it as he's the man she'd be fantasizing about so he was. He uses to toy on her and she says she's seen him drool over her reaction. Basically what I'm saying is if you love someone than you can find satisfaction in just pleasuring them, seeing their face satisfies you and it becomes a remarkably intimate experience. He actually brings it up to her sometimes and says, "You haven't asked for it today?" If you've read this far, no there should never be a moment where you HAVE to give a man head, however, there's nothing degrading about it so long as it's with the correct person.

  • I think guys can feel the same as you about this. Not all girls are very fresh either. Some guys have had some bad experiences with going down on girls and it might make them not want to either. I personally love going down on a guy. I love it when a guy goes down on me too. I don't think it's fair to deny them that but if it's just not your thing then fine but remember a guy may give you the same reasons not to go down on you too. How are you going to be with that? If you enjoy it will you be happy in a relationship where the guy wont? What if you're with the perfect guy for you and everything about him is what you want but he really enjoys receiving oral? Are you going to deny that from him? What if it makes him rethink the relationship just because you're not willing to please him? If you've found the perfect guy for you and he doesn't like head or even cares about it then don't do it or worry about it but if it's important to him then it should be to you too.

  • Well, at least in German girls DO say "lick me" as a version of fuck you xD But I guess thats more of a short form for "lick my ass".
    Personaly, I do not see anything degrading at going down on my partner - if anything, then it feels degrading to me to recieve instead. The one who's going down on you has the full power at this moment. But still, it is completely fine not to want that. Everyone of us got his own bondaries. As long as you would accept a partner who doesn't go down on you as well then its completely fine.

  • How is it degrading? Even reading your reason for it I don't see how it's degrading. Not every guy says "suck my dick", usually girls go for it even before they guy can ask for it. And there are definitely girls who would say something like lick my pussy. It is okay to not give blowjobs, but then don't expect anything for it in return. Also, trust me, your vagina doesn't smell or taste the best either 😂

Most Helpful Guys

  • Everyone has their boundaries. I'm sure you'll meet guys who are fine with it, or at the very least tolerate it. Personally, I could tolerate it if she was kinky otherwise and met all my needs. I won't lie it's definitely a plus if she does it frequently and even enjoys it, I'm far more likely to return the favor. I think as long as both parties are considerate and keep themselves groomed and clean, it can be an awesome and pleasurable thing for both. I don't expect it or demand it.

  • If she had a double standard, demanding that I give her cunnilingus on demand, then no. It's not okay, and I wouldn't date a girl like that. Because she's an egocentric, selfish, entitled diva who only cares about her own pleasure, and considers pleasuring her partner to be beneath her.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Compromise.
    Of you are Both in a Real Deal Relationship, Could be a Deal Breaker. xx

    • Welcome to Gag Town and Best of Luck As long as he washes down there and you too, should not be a P-EW. xx

  • Why do you think it's degrading?

  • I think if I’m going down on him he should do the same, but that’s just me.

  • It's not degrading unless its forceful. Oral sex is 100% mutual in a loving relationship. You do it because you want to do it and you love you partner, and you usually oral back in return. Nothing degrading about that.

  • I do not think it is a big deal. You get to decide what you want stuck in your body after all. Stick with handjobs... guys love them!

  • How is it one of your favourite things to be eaten out yet you think a blowjob is degrading? That doesn't make sense.

  • Yes, Because its not disgusting for a guy to go down on our monthly bloody hole that he puts his "disgusting" dick in.
    Its not degrading unless you make it degrading stop being a victim

    • Also, its best not to even find it bad or even think negative about that shit because i love to go down on the guys i was with, I much preferred to suck a dick over being fucked. So keep your "Degradation" to yourself, because its just as degrading for a man to go down on a woman as it is for a woman to a man, if i go by your logic Though by your logic you also think girls dont ask guys to eat them out which is total fuckin bullshit

    • Haha. I was with this girl and she really enjoyed giving me blowjobs. I think she got off knowing how much I enjoyed it. She's seeing somone else but doesn't like giving blowjob while having sex... unless he asks her, something about finding his dick weird.

    • @AlleenotAlly some guys have BO problems or dont clean properly and it leaves a funky taste

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  • everyone has preferences, but I does seem a little unfair to the guy but some are into that I guess so lol
    Personally though, I don't think it's degrading at all especially if he goes down on you too

  • It's ok, it's a solution if you don't want get to sex with penetration and if you don't like anal, it's not degrading if you both respect each other. And yes, I would date a girl like that, I don't mind honestly 😊

  • Sounds kind of one sided, but I'm sure you can find a guy who's into that.

    • As long as he's happy with it, it's nobody else's business.

  • You are 100% entitled to not give blowjobs, but men are also 100% entitled to not be with a woman who doesn't give blowjobs.

  • My ex never went down on me and I didn't view it as a problem. I mean she is now my ex but it wasn't due to lack of blowjobs

  • That's okay with me personally. Especially if the girl loves for me to do it for her. at least i could get off to her getting pleasure from something. it would REALLY suck if you hated giving AND receiving.

  • Total deal breaker. And thinking it’s degrading is just crap

    • 😂😂If u were a girl, I'm pretty sure u would not want some dick down ur throat. That shit sounds painful asf

    • @desiree512 most don’t take it down their throat. And it’s not any better or worse than going down on a girl. So any girl who doesn’t do it is selfish in bed. Just how it is no matter your personal preference

    • Well, it's not selfish but in this girl's situation it is because it doesn't make sense she says it's degrading but she wants a guy to go down on her. I didn't get that part tbh

  • It's kind of a red flag. If you find blowjobs degrading, odds are you're boring in bed.

    • Not really. I’ve considered being a dominatrix because I think I could like it, and be really good at it. That’s just the one thing I have hang ups with for some reason.

    • Okay

    • Being a dominatrix is all about degrading your partner lol

  • only if you don't expect him to go down on you either

  • Yes. I agree with u on that. After all, you don't know how clean he REALLY is. I thought I was the only girl who felt the same as u

    • But tbh, if u really feel that it's degrading than I don't see how that makes sense because u like guys to go down on u but not receive.

  • 100% OK

  • All I would say is regardless of what people on here say, you are definitely in a small minority. Everyone I've ever been with has enjoyed doing it so that's what people will get used to. If I were to date someone like you who doesn't do it, it would certainly be tough to get used to.

    Fair play to your boyfriend for being understanding, he's a keeper for sure

  • Well DJ Kaled thinks not going down on a girl is ok. So it's preference.

    • I kinda felt like his reason was bullshit. I can understand if you just don’t like doing it. That’s fine. But not doing it because “the rules are different for men, we the king” is stupid. It’s not like I don’t do it because I think I’m better than my partner.

    • I think he said that as a way around saying "pussy looks weird, I don't like weird things." But yeah his excuse is retarded.

    • If you actually look at what he said though, wasn't it more along the lines of "I just can't do it, I've tried but I can't manage it, I have performance issues"?

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