Is it okay to touch his dick over his clothes and not take things further?

Question

Okay so I'm seeing a guy, last night we were kissing on his couch, I was sitting on his lap facing him with his legs between mine. The kisses were getting hotter and I could feel tht he was starting to have an erection so I began to feel it over his shorts. Nothing fancy just light touching. 3 secs later he was completely hard on but I really was not in the mood for sex which he understood but he seemed pissed.

Long story short is it wrong to touch his dick if I dont intend to have sex?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Unfortunately this is one area with people where there is no hard-and-fast rule. There is no one "right" way to do things. It's more about learning each other and finding what works for you guys as a couple.

I've dated guys before where I learned through experience, they really did not like their dick touched unless some sort of release is going to happen. The guy I'm with now LOVES a little teasing, and it makes sexy time later, whenever it happens, more fun for us both.

You've gotta learn your guy and how his sexuality expresses itself. If I were you I'd straight up ask him. Wait for a good time - when you're doing something peaceful, everyone's in a good mood, etc. and ask him in a sweet, playful "I just want to know more about you" way. Don't say anything that could sound like a criticism, but just have a sweet open conversation about it and find out if he only likes his dick touched if it will definitely lead to sex, or if teasing is ok with him. He'll tell you. And make sure to express yourself as well, your own opinions and preferences, and maybe mention WHY you like randomly touching his dick in a way that will help him feel good about it. This line has worked for me: "I just feel so affectionate towards it, I like to express that affection sometimes. I mean, it does do a lot of really great things for me, ya know?" And follow that up with a kiss. That idea has never failed me in bridging any gap with a guy and making any frustration go away, because at that point he understands you're not trying to be mean and make blue balls happen, you just did it because you love his cock. And no guy on earth will feel bad about you loving his cock. Ever.

kaylaS91 · Accepted Answer

I don't think there's anything wrong with not going forth with actually having sex. I mean, that sounds like what happens quite often with my boyfriend and I (where I feel him get hard when he's still fully clothed and then proceed to do some light touching over his pants/boxers). Even at times where we can't have sex because one of us are sick, too tired, or circumstances like scheduling conflicts or something similar that would make it a bit impractical, I've yet to hear him complain as long as I make a point to get him to cum via oral/a hj.

tinyclit · Accepted Answer

I don't think it's ever a good idea to tease a guy if your plan isn't to build it up to having him cum big time. And if you do want him to cum, then you need to be very careful that by teasing him you don't end up making him cum too soon and in an unsatisfactory way, like in his underwear.

ShaunaM95 · Accepted Answer

I don't think it's wrong, but maybe you could give him a handjob or something next time? If you don't want to do any of that, then it's probably best not to do anything in that area at all lol

kob96 · Accepted Answer

sexual contact with him when you don't intend to have sex is obviously going to annoy him, I'm sure you'd feel the same way if you were horny and he started feeling you up and then said he wasn't in the mood. There's nothing wrong with not being in the mood, of course, just don't touch someone sexually if you don't have the intent of actually doing something

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

The next step is not sex.

The next step is a handjob.

If you dont' want to give him a handjob, don't grab his dick with your hand. You could grind on him clothed, but don't grab it.

If you're okay giving a hj, go ahead, then pull his pants down and get busy. You can kiss him at the same time of focus on his dick, whatever you like.

Twin2814 · Answer

i wouldn't want any girl grabbing my dick and not doing anything with it. at least give him a handjob. but if you dont want to do any of that... just dont touch him there. because if you touch him there... he is going to expect something.

LovelyColleen · Answer

No, not wrong at all. You don't always have to please when you tease :-)

WhereIsMyMind · Answer

Hmmm I think if you have no intention of getting his dick out what's the point in even touching it? It'll just leave him frustrated

Fox_McTag · Answer

this is called "teasing", some of us loves it, some of us hates it just find whatever floats your boats together

adeleash_ · Answer

okay so for the people saying you have to touch him at least? no. if you take it that far and want to stop then stop. you aren't obligated to do shit. he can touch his own shit

NerdInDenial · Answer

Yes, it is very wrong.

elxxx · Answer

I think it wasn't the best choice to tease him by touching him but there is nothing wrong with not having sex. if you don't want to then don't feel obligated. just make it up to him next time you see him.

JustinTheGreat · Answer

Don't tease him if you're not going to give him at least a hand job

jacquesvol · Answer

Of course: you're over 18.

Exterminatore · Answer

That's not cool. If you don't intend to finish what you start, don't touch it.

kkendall · Answer

no lol don't do that

ayerithsky · Answer

thats plain wrong. if i were the guy id be pissed too. did you at least give him a hand job?

COCOCHANEL · Answer

yeah just pet and call it a night

neoagent1 · Answer

Example of what you did should be the example part of the definition of "cock tease" in the dictionary. Don't touch him there if you're not going to take it further.