Is it right for me to hate men?

[Anonymous]

I was sodomized 15 years ago. I was 20. I tried to report it, without success as the person was
influential. He ended up killing a woman and now he’s in prison. Before I was raped, I was very open to try things and was generally a different person. Since then though, not so much. I have severe depression. What’s sad is as much as I love men I even have feelings of hatred towards them anymore because they have become toxic and ugly. They purposely harm women for their own pleasure. Read any porn forum and you’ll see. Am I wrong for feeling the way I do? Is there a way I can just drop this sadness? I confronted my rapist and it hasn’t helped. In fact, it’s made me sadder. It’s made me distrustful and has affected
my relationships with men and women. Especially men. Do you blame me for being so?

[nikooo0ooo]

What your rapist did doesn't reflect men as a whole, you use such sad poor, terrible fucking examples to justify your claims "look in the comments sections of porn" if you're such a scarred emotionally disturbed rape victim why are you watching porn. Fact is no one cares if you hate men, I dont, the world will continue to go spinny spin spin until the day your delousinal brain goes off for the last time and your retarded unrealistic ideology that all men are trash is put to rest for good. Go on hating men, doesn't affect anyone but you. You're a very rude disrespectful "victim" generalizing an an entire gender based off some sicko rapist who you were lucky enough to be around to meet. I think all woman are trash now based off your disgusting sad pathetic outlook on life. That's how you sound. No one's gonna fix u, no one on this garbage can sex app is gonna help you, Instead of sitting around blaming innocent people who have nothing to do with your fucked up mind maybe go get some help and keep your fucked up putrid disrespectful opinions to yourself. Dumb ass.

[Asker]

I actually don’t watch porn. I think you need to reread what I actually said, too. I love men. All you’re doing is justifying my rape because you’re a selfish loser who can’t understand or respond to people. I don’t think anyone is lucky to be raped. The fact that you’re okay with people getting raped makes you a loser. Grow up.

[Asker]

I would consider people who think rape is okay as fucked up. The fact that you’re blaming innocent people instead of the rapists themself makes you part of the problem and makes you a hypocrite. Then to kick someone who is very clearly down makes you a Coward, just like a rapist. There is nothing innocent about my rapist. Shame on you for standing up for him. You’re about as worthless as people who stood up for Bill Cosby. Like you, they found fault in the survivors, condone the rapes and even praised him for it.

[Asker]

I don’t blame all men- I am having a hard time with this situation though. May god have mercy on people like you.

[Asker]

Also you look like a girl in your picture.

[nikooo0ooo]

And? It ain't the 70s retarded boomer. I can look however I want, and still fuck more men than you LMFAO

[nikooo0ooo]

ur having a hard time but criticize my looks? lmfao ATTENTION SEEKING BOOMER GRANNY CONFIRMED

[nikooo0ooo]

ugly wrinkly 40 year old criticizing my looks cause she's mad she's not getting attention LMAOAOAOAOAAOAOOOAOAOAO BOOOOOOOOMERRR

[nikooo0ooo]

IM STILL PRETTIER THAN YOUR UGLY WRINKLY ASS GRANNY LMFAO

[Asker]

Actually I’m only 35 and I’m quite gorgeous. You can be pretty at any age if you’re a decent person and take good care of yourself. by the way how little boy of you- belittling a rape survivor. Guess what? My 80 year old gma is very pretty too. Shame on you for degrading the aging process- people like you are part of the reason the elderly are abused. Shame on you.

[nikooo0ooo]

YOU BELITTLED MY APPRRANCE YOU IDIOT PSYCHO BOOMER, YOU can't SAY WHATEVER U WANT THEN USE THE RAPE CARD WHEN PEOPLE FIRE BACK AT YOU IDIOT LMFAOAOOA

[Asker]

Boomers are were born in the 40s and 50s. I was born in the mid 80s. Haha how very ignorant of you.

[Asker]

I am having a hard time. I put you down because I think it’s disposable to respond the way you did. I’ve explained it all once I’m not doing it again.

[nikooo0ooo]

NOW IM DONE WITH YOUR PSYCHOTIC ASS GOODBYE WRINKLY ATTENTION SEEKER BYEEE BYEEEE HAVE FUN WITH UR RAPE HISTORY IDIOT LMFAO

[Asker]

Dude you’re a loser. Your responses are why some women do blame all men. I actually don’t want attention or I’d publicly shout it. I was hoping people could possibly give me some tips that would be helpful.

[Asker]

Now I’m laughing at you because you’re such an immature loser.

[Asker]

Did you read your original response? You automatically attacked me... wow what an idiot.

[vampireelf]

After these experiances, its alright to feel some hate for men. And many men deserve it, because they can be really abusive. Of cause not to the degree of the one who raped you, but i csn totally understand that these men trigger you

[Anonymous]

Porn forums are a bad example, as most of any porn you watch is based off pure fantasy. Which, believe it or not over half the population of women have a rape fantasy. Look it up. It is wrong that you hate men. You have taken a horrible circumstance and used it against the entire male population. How is that fair? What happened to you is terrible and always will be terrible but your backlash is bad too.

[Asker]

Believe it or not- I don’t watch porn. I was shocked when a friend of mine- who was molested as a child showed me the comments on the forum.

[Opinion Owner]

I was molested as a child as well and I happen to watch "forced" porn from time to time. It's never real rape and you can tell by the videos. Its strictly a played out fantasy.

[laurieluvsit]

I am so sorry that happened to you :(

It is very normal for you to feel this way after being raped.

In many cases time will heal. The main thing is to realize that there are good, kind, gentle and understanding people in the world. There is a point where you can get to know some of these people well enough to know that you can trust them. Focus on that.

[AustinMan]

How much therapy have you undergone for this trauma?

[Asker]

Quite a bit. Therapy and antidepressants.

[AustinMan]

Sounds to me like you didn't get the help you needed. I suggest you try another therapist.

[simonqq]

Well I can definitely understand why you have these feelings but I doubt men has become worse. Reading a porn forum will give you a very pointed view as most men aren't active in such forums and they are probably filled with like minded people.

I've tried a sexting forum and what the girls there wanted was too extreme for me and I quickly realized there were no one like me there.

I don't know how you can process your feelings and feel less hate towards men but I hope you one day can meet someone that you don't hate and whom you feel you can trust.

[Asker]

There are movements now where men’s hatred for women and children is promoted. That has nothing to do with porn forums.

[simonqq]

Promoted? Maybe I'm unaware but haven't seen anything of sorts promoted. I know there are incel groups and then there are ultra conservatives. Incel groups I think (I could very well be wrong) stems from that we have become more and more isolated in the modern world and dating apps etc for the average guy is only a source of frustration for most guys. Then they go to forums and meet guys with similar frustrations and they create a circlejerk that results in disgust and hate for women though they are often the source to their failures and not women.

[Asker]

It isn’t just circle jerking. Women and children have both suffered legal setbacks because of it.

[Berethor]

I for one consider anal disgusting, whatever it's consensual or forced anal.

[Asker]

Obviously it wasn’t..

[Asker]

Obviously it was forced I mean.

[Berethor]

Yea, but it harmful anyway, as it unnatural, anyway not all men are into that stuff.

[Asker]

Oh okay I see what you mean. Treat her nice sweetie.

[GingerGuy]

It's understandable with your past experience, but you have to remember that ALL men are not like this. You also need to deal with this and maybe some counselling or support group can help?

[Celtero]

It's okay, I hate you too.

[ColHathi]

I don't think it's right to hate men, but I also can't blame you :/

[Iron_Man]

I’m sorry to hear that but don’t hate men find a good Christian man

[Skankhunt]

I know where you are comming from, but hating men and generalizing men isn't good. You should give good men with good intentions a chance.

I do it too, I don't trust women easily , I've been hurt by them, but I'm working on it. It's not fair to never give someone a chance.

The best way to protect yourself is to set some standards (not too high) and boundaries, also don't jump into a relationship too quick. Take your time to know him. If a man doesn't respects your boundaries, get rid of him. Everyone deserves someone who respects your boundaries.

I don't know if you went to therapy, if you didn't, I advice you to do it. Your not crazy if you go to a psychologist.

I hope this will help you.

[Asker]

I have standards and boundaries. There is no excuse for rape. It has nothing to do with my boundaries because my boundaries were broken. I’m sorry you’re having a hard time like me though.

[Skankhunt]

Thanks. I'm just telling that's it's hard to trust someone if you had bad experiences, but generalizing men isn't the right way either. There is no excuse to rape someone.

[Asker]

Me too generalize women all the time. I’ve faced it and I’m in the process of moving on now.

[Neverhirny]

no sweetheart i dont blame you😢 just keep in mind that were not all rapist or hurt girls, women.

[joeldalton]

You're drinking poison and hoping your rapist dies. Your hatred of men doesn't affect him, it only affects you. You may want to look into getting therapy.

[CuriousMufuxka]

No. The piece of shit already fucked you and your mind is allowing him to fuck that as well! Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Blame goes nowhere, but accountability goes somewhere at least.

[Asker]

Oh so I should blame myself? I think after all that, there are much worse things I could be. Many people in my situation commit suicide. That’s not feeling sorry for myself either, that’s fact.

[CuriousMufuxka]

Stop taking shit out on people that meant you no wrong, read my initial post again and realize that you could have taken yourself out, but didn't! You are only strong because you've been treated like shit and lack courage. 15 fucking years! There's no time for hate unless you have already decided to ride things out and get a nice message every now and then.

[Asker]

Sorry pal, I have a lot of courage and am very strong. I would be too even if this hadn’t happened. Shame on you for stating otherwise. I’d say it takes more courage to live than to commit suicide anyways.

[In_Trance]

I don't blame you

[Valnac]

No I don’t blame you, I’m sorry you had to endure that.
I don’t want to see you destroy your life for one criminal.
I hope you get some counseling, I’m sure they can help!

[REDHOTLINE]

Its your life and your decision but. Bacause of just only a one man you think all men are same. its not logical.

[gandolph3]

so you are blaming every male for what one did, have you sought therapy

[Asker]

It isn’t blaming. It’s a just a general mistrust of men. I think part of it stems from the fact I was raised to be mindful around men- like don’t be alone with them, watch how you dress. Things that were well meant and valid. However, once you coincide the rape, it takes it to a whole new level. Like I said I love men because I’m straight. I love my boyfriend in fact. I’m just having a very hard time with this. I just confronted him.

[Asker]

Sorry I just confronted my rapist that is.

[gandolph3]

so you are now reliving the terror, i am very sorry that this happened to you. i hope you have a very understanding boyfriend, and i hope your anger is never aimed at him. i truly feel for you

[Asker]

No it isn’t. In fact, we treat each other so well we melt for each other. That’s part of the reason I’m upset about the feelings I do.

[gandolph3]

Do you blame yourself for what happenef

[Asker]

No. I don’t at all. I don’t blame anybody who was raped, though. All I did was agree to go on a date with him. He asked if I’d go home with him. I declined his request though and that’s when it happened. My family knew him before the date.

[Anonymous]

Is it right? No.
Do I understand? Yes.

You have gone through a lot and the world is not a soft and gentle place to heal.

[Anonymous]

Do I blame you for being so? Of course I do. You know it's wrong to hate all men because of the actions of one. I could easily hate all women because one falsely accused my neighbor, ruined his life and he committed suicide, but that would make me just as dumb as you.

Get professional help. You obviously need it.