Is it still wrong if a 16 year old girl enjoyed casual sex with a 45 year old man and was not harmed?

[rachelbatten2020]

For College Research / Assume Age of Consent To Be 16 Without Limits

If a 45-year-old man hooked up with a 16-year-old girl both seeking no-strings-attached casual sex, and the man never manipulated the girl and respected her boundaries, while the girl enjoyed the experience and was not traumatized, what’s your thoughts on this case? Please give detailed explanations!

[Regmorus]

I find it completely okay. Though It is disturbing to my sense of morale to imagine such situation I should accept that under the today's conditions it has to be considered OK.

Still I have to point out that I can't dispose of the feeling that the man is in the wrong. I have to accept his behaviour as completely bare any fault in today's time. But I can't get me there and don't want to get me there that what he did is not wrong in some higher sense of conscience, if one wants in the eyes of the universe. I feel or know that in some higher sense of universal law it was wrong from his side.

What about the girl everything is fine. I won't say anything like that her psyche wasn't yet completely developed, that she can't take responsible for such decisions and can't evaluate properly - I don't think so - even if some specialists might claim this.

[rachelbatten2020]

can you write more on, how you somehow feel that the man is in the wrong despite that your morals say its ok? You can write wtv that comes to your mind about why you feel its wrong!

[Regmorus]

Oh, if it's important for statistics. I am NOT American. Maybe you have to collect data for your research only from americans, so mind that.

[rachelbatten2020]

No that's not important, please go ahead : )

[Regmorus]

I could try. But tbh to me it looks a bit like you are not making research but trying to get parts for an essay from us. Is that not so?

[rachelbatten2020]

No this is for a research project, if you would like to contribute do please elaborate more on how you have this feeling somehow it's still wrong

[Regmorus]

Hm, okay, I'll try. O_O.

[Regmorus]

Probably there are two different views that clash in me. On one hand teenager of the age 15-16 and older have to be considered as individuals that should already be entitled to take full responsibility for their actions and to make their decisions in my opinion. Hence I can't accept the suspicion that the girl should be considered not able to make proper decisions. On the other hand my intuition says that the individual at 16 is not yet able to make such. That intuition that requires to give the man the responsibility I have to cover by thinking - since it contradicts the former premise - but want to preserve and hence I cover it by the explanation: "But the universal law says the man is guilty." Is it better?

[Red_Arrow]

When I was a teen, I looked at life (mine and in general) and concluded that it would be best for me to wait till I was over 18 before having sex. And from many of the statements on here by people under 18, I still think that way. Some may be better prepared, but most just think they are, but are not. Yes, there are many under 18 that are okay starting at that earlier age, but most are not.
When you toss in that they are having sec with someone easily old enough to be their parent, I am even more sure of that. I do not think all sexual connections with someone old enough to be your parent are bad, but for those under 18 I definitely think so.

[Mickey9999]

Laws and morality aside, the psychological society says the age is too young to give consent. I’m not saying that it’s educationally based, but easily influenced or steered. I can’t but help to wonder why she would want to be with a man of that age... at 16 most think 45 is ancient as in grandparent old. So i can’t help to wonder if she had issues or trauma.

[JessieBellll]

Maybe she found him hot? There are tons of hot men in their 40s

[AzureGirl]

I still find the fact a full grown adult being attracted to a young teen to be a huge red flag regardless. Age of consent aside, 16 is not fully developed in any capacity.

[rachelbatten2020]

can you explain why it would be a problem that she's not fully developed, provided in this case the guy did not take advantage of that and manipulate her and respected her boundaries? And can you write more on how you feel about this case being a Huge Red Flag?

[AzureGirl]

Sure!

16 is still quite young and can easily be taken advantage of. A human brain does not fully develop until age 25. One part of the brain that isn’t developed at that age is the part that helps with impulse control and rational thinking. So at 16 you can’t really make good judgement on things like sex. A grown adult shouldn’t be taking advantage of someone who can’t rationally make that decision.

At 16 your body is also not fully developed. A lot of people that age look like teenagers, obviously, not full grown adults. So for an adult to go after one so young can seem kind of pedophile-ish.

I’ll add a link on brain development if you’d like to read up on it but it’s entirely up to you!

www.urmc.rochester.edu/.../content.aspx

[rachelbatten2020]

thanks for your reply, however we said in this case the girl enjoyed the experienced and was not harmed, so why would all that matter?

[AzureGirl]

Regardless of if she enjoyed it or consented, the fact that she is still an underdeveloped teenager and he is a grown male disregarding that fact stands

[rachelbatten2020]

Absolutely the fact 'the fact that she is still an underdeveloped teenager and he is a grown male' would stand. But why would that be a problem, as long as the final outcome is -> she enjoyed it? You can add your own personal reasons too, they can be how you feel about this, please feel free to go in detail!

[AzureGirl]

You could also think of it this way: usually those older than you are held to a higher authority. So on some level there could have been a fear of harm or of other negative consequence if the adult’s advances were rejected. It’s basically pretty hard to just say no to someone largely older than you, especially if the topic at hand is on a personal level such as this. Sure, she may have enjoyed it then, but going back to the lack of impulse control and rationalization, the decision may turn into regret later on. I’ve actually seen quite a few people on this site who have said they had sex young, often with those older than them, and have grown to regret their choices as they’ve gotten older.

[rachelbatten2020]

Do you think it's possible that she won't regret it?

[AzureGirl]

Possibly but it may be slim.

[rachelbatten2020]

(I'm not trying to argue with you just extracting data for the flow by the way thanks for participating, these are not my personal views) And for those slim cases where she enjoyed and Never regretted it, do you still see a problem? If you do, could you please please go into detail, I need this information so badly.

[AzureGirl]

A project/social experiement of some kind I’m assuming? And don’t worry, I never thought you were being argumentative or anything! My thoughts on the adult in this situation still stands. And even if she was okay with it throughout her life it may pose possible future relationship problems depending on her future partner’s views. Sex and relationships as a whole can be a complicated thing.

[purplepoppy]

People might disapprove but its none of their concern. Both consented and no laws were broken

[Quackthulu]

If she is above the age of consent then no crime was committed. But she is still an idiot.

[OlderAndWiser]

Even if the 45 year old guy is trying to be as gentlemanly as possible, he still has such an unfair advantage over her that it is simply not acceptable.

[rachelbatten2020]

can you explain what you mean by unfair advantage? we've established the guy in this case did not manipulate her and respected her wishes.

[OlderAndWiser]

You may have established that as a "fact" for your hypothetical, but that is not the way it works IRL.

[rachelbatten2020]

Do you mean it is never possible for such a case, where the man did not manipulate her and respected her boundaries? And for that case, would you still find it wrong?

[OlderAndWiser]

Most of the manipulation will be subconsciously directed.

[rachelbatten2020]

I can absolutely agree with that, a younger person is subconsciously much more influenceable by an older person with more experience Yet would that matter if she enjoyed the experience and wasn't harmed?

[OlderAndWiser]

How do you determine that she wasn't harmed? by the way, you never mentioned whether the man is her father. Suppose he is her father, but she consents, says she enjoys it. If it's not illegal, does her consent make it okay?

[CamilaP]

I don't think there's anything wrong with it if it was legal and he treated her body with respect. It's a very big age gap so I can understand some people being overly concerned about it though.

[OlderThanILook]

I wouldn't say it's morally wrong because morals can flip 180 in a heartbeat. I think from a social standpoint it is bad simply becausee age gaps cause problems. Period. No matter how good the intentions are, that dude is getting in trouble. He's going to be labeled a pedophile no matter what. Just don't do age gaps. It's not worth it.

[wankiam]

legal and consentual sex is fine in all its forms as far as im concerned as its the private business of those involved and no one else

[Kaneki05]

I would say yeah. Guy is 45. I know at 45 i wouldn't dare touch a 16 year old that's just gross. Even 18 is just a nah really make her 20 then i would say fair enough. Plus she's pretty dumb to sleep with a 45 year old she could get someone younger easy. Unless if she is into older men but even then she can at least wait a couple years. The problem with the age gap is you can never really tell if it was consexual due to grooming

[4ngelic]

16yo is too young to fucking around with 45yo dudes even if she liked it. if the argument is that cause some 16yos can do that and like it and not be traumatized it's okay for old dudes to fuck minors, just rephrase the question with a 14 yo or a 12yo. lets say they liked it is it okay then? now yea 16 isn't nearly as bad as 14 but still is weird and she's too young. 16yos look like kids and act like kids. like they're barely done with puberty (like barely) and not even 2 years ago they looked like fucking babies that you would never fuck in a million years unless your a pedo. there's nothing wrong with liking younger girls though but please not high schoolers please people at least have them be like 18-19

[4ngelic]

stop trying to normalize pedo shit please

[blutwolfe]

well I don't see a problem with it, and it's their problems not mine, doesn't affect me. I'm just gonna let them enjoy their lives, obviously not the great decision but that's on them lol

[dublin_sexyeyes0]

In my view... no not wrong as long as...

1 she consented
2 she was able to consent (no drink)
3 he didn't trick or coherse her
4 she was happy and fully aware of it
5 he treated her properly

[Danny_dan92]

This is very disturbing.


Yeah it’s fucking wrong!! Fucken pedophile

[rachelbatten2020]

Can you explain why you think it would be wrong, provided she isn't harmed in the case?

[Danny_dan92]

Uhh cause she is a young little girl and he is an old man?

[JessieBellll]

Haha, says the guy who thinks OK for 16 year old boys to fuck old women.

[Danny_dan92]

I never said that fuck tard. I said it was wrong for anyone to fuck a minor. Regardless of the gender of either side

[JessieBellll]

Um you said you don't mind if an old woman uses a 16 yo for sex cause you imagine yourself as the boy. That's creepy. And 16 if legal is not underage

[Danny_dan92]

Uhhh you’re totally taking what I actually said... and put your own spin on it. What I said, is that it is not as disgusting if a grown woman seduces a minor boy. Because of the nature and emotional characteristics women naturally have vs men. As a man, I know that guys are dogs. Overly aggressive and horny. Women have needs too, but women prefer passion where as men just wanna fuck. But no where did I specifically say, that is is OK. I said it is the lesser evil of the two. Stop twisting my words. Or I’m gonna block the ever living fuck out of you

[JessieBellll]

Okay, but that's just your opinion. In here, the girl clearly has no problem, but you are still very hateful. It seems like prejudice to me. And you also criticised me for saying I prefer older men with young girls compared to older women with boys. That's not right.

[Danny_dan92]

If the girl is grown? Aka. Not a fucken innocent girl? Then yeah. It’s fine and quite normal for a girl to go for older men. However, if you see a 40 year old man, dating a girl that is say in her 20’s it looks off. Very disturbing actually. And they get looks when out in public but for the wrong reasons. It doesn’t look that natural. A few years older to maybe 8-9 years older tops. Is what I and many other people believe to be normal

[JessieBellll]

No, I prefer older men with minor girls compared to older women with minor boys, I am attracted to men. Just like you prefer older women with young boys, but I don't scream pedophile at the woman if the teen said they are fine with it.

[JessieBellll]

Notice I never said its OK. Just that I care more about younger boy and old woman. I don't think 16 year olds are innocent, that's just stupid.

[ElDiablo666]

In my country, this would be perfectly legal.
No issue there.

[AmeerX]

It is not wrong. 16 is consenting adult age for girls in many countries

[naraku]

I think both (younger guy or girl) ways is fine if it's legal and both are ok with it and understand what's going on.
A lot of people will probably start squawking about morals but again I think it's fine as per my first comment.

I was with a much older woman once, I was older than 16 though and she gave me oral. It didn't "corrupt" me or anything. You and always message me if you want me to go further into it.

[Jessie91331]

As long as you both are willing and the man isn't in a position of power over you... then have fun... Personally, I like older men so go for it.

[Dchrls78104]

In my country it is; the man could be demonised as a pervert or paedophile and jailed.

[crmoore]

No, I don't believe so. The only way it would be wrong is if the qualities you had mentioned aren't present actually were. The situation isn't inherently wrong, factors like manipulation (among other things) is what would make it wrong.

[EyesOfGod]

That is fucking nasty. The girl has daddy issues and that man is a pedophile.

[EyesOfGod]

However look at India, where 7 and 8 years olds are forcibly married off to even older men and the get pregnant as soon as they start the cycle.

[coffeewithcream]

Illegal and jail time.
The girl in many jurisdictions- most jurisdictions- can't give consent until 18. It's statutory rape.

[COMMODOREII]

wouldn't think anything of it. There are states here in the United States where 16 is the legal age of consent for sex.