Is it true that non virgin girls are “damaged goods”?

[Anonymous]

I was thinking about losing my virginity

[TwistedLogic]

Only if they are viewed as merchandise. I like an experienced woman who knows what she is doing and isn't scared by the sight of the male's body. This whole idea of wanting a fresh & wrapped candy that hasn't been tasted or touched before is very childish, in my estimation.

If a man or a woman is assessing their partner based solely on their sexual activity and/or history, then they are not ready or qualified to be in a relationship to begin with. There are so many other qualities that are far more important than that to look for in a woman. Things like loyalty, open-mindedness, having common interests, intelligence, personality, maternal traits, etc... If and when I am deciding whether a woman is gonna be the future mother of my children, those are the areas that I investigate, not her sexual history.

To avoid hypocrisy, I have to say that she has to be STDs free and hasn't sold her body for sex because that is a different issue entirely in my view.

I hope this helps. : )

[hellionthesagereborn]

What we know is statistically the more partners a person has the more likely they are to get a divorce, cheat, be depressed, be unhappy in long term relationships etc. Does this mean that having sex "damages" you? Not really, what it does show however is that one should be highly selective when having sex with some one and generally be more relationship oriented about it in order to avoid the negative effects to many partners can cause (according to data one partner is a 1% probability of divorce, for two its 16%). Its not a morality thing its health, eating a slice of cake isn't a big deal, eating the whole damn thing in one sitting is however. I would be very careful whom you lose your virginity to, its a one time thing and sex despite popular belief does result in emotional connections and intimacy. If you want to save that for some one you really care for then do so, it would be a wise decisions comparative to giving it away to what ever drunken guy you can find.

[aicarg]

Everyone has their own views. But just as one may choose to remain a virgin, dosen't make them a prude, one who chooses to lose their virginity dosen't mean that they are "damaged goods".

If you plan on losing your virginity, my advice to you is to be smart and prepared about it. And this is in all terms - physically, emotionally, and mentally. Know about all the precautions of sex and to keep you and the partner you're planning to have sex with safe, make your first time with someone whom you trust and are emotionally comfortable with and has those same feelung reciprocated for you, and lastly be mentally sure that you're prepared.

[zzzondarrr]

What do you mean by emotionally comfortable?

[aicarg]

@zzzondarrr emotionally comfortable = if an emotional bond with them may you be dating them or may they be a good friend whom you trust.

[zzzondarrr]

Whatt, for you it's ok to lose your virginity to a friend?

[aicarg]

If *you have an emotional bond with them... (sorry typo) For me personally, I wouldn't and didn't lose my virginity to a friend. But I'm speaking in general and as an option to many other opinions towards this topic that may it be a lover or a friend - I personally feel that being intimate with a someone you trust is better than being intimate with a stranger.

[zzzondarrr]

Ofc is better than with a stranger, but how could it be ok to do it with just a friendd? Shouldn't you save it for the one that you're sure is the love of your life?

[aicarg]

Everyone has their own personal opinion. I know of two people who lost their virginity to a friend who was mutual on the decision to care and respect each other simply to have their first time done with someone whom they trust (one for prom/the other during a new year's party); they weren't dating, tgey didn't end up dating... they just cared for each other to be each others firsts. There's no "okay" or "not okay" towards this question. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. In the end of this all, it's the asker's personal choice.

[zzzondarrr]

Omg, but that's just so, ughhhh... What makes you think "There's no "okay" or "not okay" towards this question"? I mean you can say the same for like drug consumption too, that everyone is free to do as they please, but isn't it just clear, in this example, that drug consumption is wrong?

[aicarg]

@zzzondarrr It seems as you're disturbed with my opinion as you and I have differing views, but what I'm suggesting in my opinion here is not stepoing into any "wrongs" legally. If sex is consensual on both ends, there is no wrong to it. If you disagree with my opinion, you can leave it at that. I can see that 2 guy's have down voted my point of view. But I'm not swayed by my own personal opinion as I've explained myself clearly that I BELIEVE that as long as one has sex in a SAFE and CONSENSUAL manner with who they are COMFORTABLE with and TRUST, by all means, it's their choice. Your example on drugs, is a LEGAL manner. And in fact, here where I live in Toronto, Canada. The use of marijuana has been legalized for medical matters on some cases.

[zzzondarrr]

Well yeah, those opinions are quite disturbing to me... Not because they're different than mine lol, but because they're disturbing themselves... Well as far as I know, drug consumption IS legal, but the manufacturing and trade is illegal... I simply see this what you're suggesting as inflicting self harm (which is again legal lol), and that's why I see it as very wrong...

[RuthAnn1781]

No. Sex is a normal part of life. If you feel comfortable having sex, go for it just be safe. Virginity isn't a big deal, it's just something that people use to shame each other for things that are totally normal. My one word of advice would be to wait and do it with someone you care about. I didn't do that, I had sex for the first time because I was pissed off with a friend of mine and wanted to prove a point, I kinda regret that but I don't think that having sex was a mistake. Just do what you feel comfortable doing, it'll be alright

[Blondie80]

In my opinion when a man says that this statement above is not true, he lies!!! Men are tricky: they have sex many partners, but they expect from their wives to be virgin when they meet. It is their pride... They like using other women, but they expect from their wives not be used before them! Most of the domestic violences' cause is that wives or partners had exes!

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Thank you. I don't know why men on this site lie so much lol. Those bastards can't be honest. I think because let's face it, the odds of finding a pretty virgin woman to marry is extremly low, so men say it doesn't matter because they know deep down they won't be able to find a virgin woman.😕

[kaylaS91]

umm... if the only 'value' you see in a girl is her untouched vagina, then yeah. If you see nothing but her virginity as her main source of value, I guess she'd be damaged goods, once that ceases to exist.

If a guy has reasons to be with you other than that, then he shouldn't have much of an issue with whether you're a virgin or not.

[BlueCoyote]

Anyone who claims this can be categorized as a mental neanderthal. And that's actually quite an insult... for neanderthals.

[boshcak]

No I don't think so. Especially if it is an older woman I don't think there is a stigma attached to it at all.

[AustinMan]

OMG, No!!! I feel like there's far too much value placed on the V-card these days. You're fine. Stay calm and carry on.

[Goodwifie]

And stay safe

[paulyy_07]

If you want to get some dick then go for your life, that's just a very silly view and is not true at all x

[RJGraveyTrain]

I don’t understand how they would be.

[Dim1213]

More like she has already been inprinted on. Poeple learn to please someone and they will carry what they learned through thier life. So if one guy who banged her acted one way and the new or husband wants something completely different she will have to take time to learn again how best to have sex. Maybe leaving the new guy wondering if she is worth waiting for her to learn if they are not married.

[Losalt]

Depends on the culture and values of the boys/men you consider potential partners...
A ISIS or Taliban fighter or a conservative christian Republican might hold different views about this then an atheist, sex positive member of say the bdsm community.

Consider your own values and those of people you're interested in.
If you want to marry a conservative you might want to wait till marriage.
If not then perhaps the ones that *would* judge you aren't really worth caring about?

It's up to you what you decide to do.

[Olodumare]

Kinda of.
Most women by the time they get 30 they’re already done for. Their peak years are gone and she’s single.

She’s out of shape, her vagina is all worn out and she wasted it on guys who just wanted to bang her. She ignored all the good men and went after the bad boys. Now she’s a single mother, post wall, out of shape and her looks can no longer get her by. She’s damaged goods.

Only idiotic men would wife her. The only men who that are the beta male simps who think that a woman will respect him by being nice to her, buying her things and spending money on her. She’s just using him because she’s older and desperate.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Damn. Ouch! That will really hurt a woman who fits your description.

[Olodumare]

@Hispanic-Cool-Guy It’s true though

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I can't disagree. The truth is really ugly sometimes.

[Olodumare]

@Hispanic-Cool-Guy Real talk my dude

[UsernameMadness]

Worse if at 30 she's still a virgin in my opinion.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

@UsernameMadness: Why is a older virgin woman at 30 or so bad you think. If she looks good to me I'll take her to be mine...

[UsernameMadness]

@Hispanic-Cool-Guy She lost 10-12 years in her sexual prime when she could have been having good sex. Maybe that's not a problem for you, but it is for her.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

@UsernameMadness: I heard women peak sexually around 30.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

It's that right?

[Smaiis]

That depends on how stuck up, and double-sided the other person is. My best advice, is to preserve yourself for someone you're in love with, or truly care for...
I feel that people that sleep around with anyone/everyone are damaged goods; if it was done in a relationship there isn't anything wrong with that

[kap_nss]

I guess the question is, if you ever fall in love with a guy (not the one you loose your virginity to now), will he care about it? And there is no certain answer.
If he isn't a virgin he won't be able to complain without being hypocrite. The problem would arise if you fall for a guy who's a virgin and he can't handle the fact that you had sex before. That situation leads to a lot of drama and suffering.

[kabir87]

Stop thinking and focus on things that really matters..."damaged goods" ? Lol seriously? From where these comes to ears? Ur virginity u lost... dont complicate urself much... n u r not any kind of goods n services.. u r a beautiful girl... smile

[Belorum]

Not more or less than a non virgin guy.

[DinaM]

Of course not!

[SarahsSummer]

Don’t do it just took do it. Find someone you care about and trust.

[soralog123]

what do you mean by damaged goods?

[Berethor]

For the next guy, and that's why you better not lose it to the wrong guy.

tvtropes.org/.../MadonnaWhoreComplex

[ShortCircuit]

In the eyes of a good 50% of all men? Yes. My advice is to make sure that whoever you're losing your virginity to is a guy that you have a pretty damn good chance of spending the rest of your life with. That way, you don't have to worry about what other guys think of you afterwards.

[kbharadwaj3125]

Too much of objectifying yourself.

[Dude55]

Absolutely not! Anyone who tells you different is a fucking arsehole.

[Goodwifie]

Dude you are so right.

[oddwaffle]

People will say not really but their actions will tell you differently.

Males do put a premium on virginity. They are willing to pay extra for virgins a couple centuries back. Down even demand their wives have to be virgins!

Nowadays, only perverts want virgins. There are lots of perverts.