Is it weird that I don’t want to count him as my first?

I was wondering about something. I'm only 20 years old. I've been with one guy in my life so far. I liked him. He wasn't a great person. The whole relationship was terrible. It wasn’t a REAL relationship. It only lasted for maybe a few weeks. He was very arrogant and would always put me down. He thought he was better than me. Unfortunately, we tried to have sex and it was awful. He made me feel bad even then. He acted as if he didn't want to do it. I was the only one into it. When he tried to out his penis in it slipped out so many times. It only stayed in for a minute or so. Then, I tried to ride him and it looked like he about to laugh at me. I guess it was because I was doing it incorrectly. When he took it out, I was bleeding a little. I was in pain the whole time. I didn't even bleed. Afterward, he jerked off and came. That was it. It was extremely weird. It wasn't what I wanted for my first time. I know technically he took my virginity but I’m too embarrassed to even claim him. I wish I would've waited to do it with someone who wanted me.
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  • It isn't quite the same situation, but I lost my virginity in the most unplanned, unexpected way. It was my neighbor and we weren't ever really into each other more than friends. We hadn't ever turned each other on, or ever thought at all that way about each other. Best friends our whole lives though.
    Then one day her mom gave her a car that her friend just gave her. It was old, ugly and nothing to get excited about. Then one day after it was sitting in the back yard for a week, we went to check it out. It took like 10 minutes to get it to start. Finally got it to stay running and let it idle fast for a long time just because it was so hard to start. Old cars did that until the engine warmed up. So after a bit I tapped the gas, so it would idle normally. Well the moment I did that, the car just went crazy. When the engine slowed down to normal speed, it shook the car so unbelievably violent that we instantly reacted. In a matter of a couple seconds, she jumped on me at lasted about 5 seconds. It just affected us. We didn't even have time to think. We didn't even talk for days, trying to make sense of it. Once we both finally just admit that the car shaking like that so unexpectedly turned us on, we agreed to forget all about it after that. We both still were just speechless whenever we were in the car, but we both were never the same after that. We took that car everywhere and purposely used it to turn every girl possible with it. I can't even tell you how popular that car was with all our other 16 year old female friends.
    So that long winded story was to say, that I too don't count my first, even though it was the most memorable moment of our lives.

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  • My first time was awkward and I believe it's that way for many people as well, my penis might have been even partially or semi-erect, I thrusted and penetrated a few times before I became completely soft but I know that still counts as sex but it was awkward

  • it is what it is

  • I was gentle with my first, and it was great!

  • I see why but technically he counts, I’ve heard the first time is usually not good for women

    • You’re right. I just hate that he was my first.

    • Yeah he sounds like a jerk, I never had a virgin but my first was my girlfriend and we lasted more than a year together

    • Yes. I'll just make sure my next experience with the 2nd guy is better. I just try to forget him as my first.

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