Is it wrong of me to not want my husband to enter another female?

Been with my husband for 2 years. Great sex life, but lately we’ve both been wanting to try a threesome. We have a lady who’s also interested, connection is great, we are just working on setting a date.
I’ve explained to my husband that I don’t want his man part to enter this other lady. Not because of jealousy, but because I don’t want the condom to break and produce a kid that’s not ours. I’ve read to many stories about this happening to others and don’t want the same for us.
He’s understanding of it, but doesn’t think it’s fair to our third partner and we should seek a different solution.
Before you tell me he needs a vasectomy, we both want kids some day. But we want our own kids, not someone else’s. And she is on birth control, but I’d rather be safe than sorry. Am I asking too much or is this a normal request?
Updates:
+1 y
For the record, I’m okay with kissing/oral sex. I just don’t want his little man inside of her because I don’t want an accidental pregnancy and she decides to keep it. We spoke with her this afternoon and found out she is NOT on bc so we’ve decided to keep looking. Thanks to everyone for the advice.
+1 y
To the person who said he is cheating but blocked me, YOU are pathetic.
1 6

Most Helpful Guys

  • You're asking too much if you want a threesome. You have no idea what's going to happen before it happens. The flip side of that is your hard limits and soft limits. If you have hard limits about what happens between two other people and it isn't anything like their bodily fluids getting on you, you don't want a threesome, you want a sex doll.

    If you're that worried about it, buy two plan B before hand, screw like you're trying to bring the ceiling down, both of y'all ride him like an old fashioned hand pump well, then take the pill when it's all over if you're that worried.

    Your concern and not accepting penetration during sex is jealousy, not concern about him knocking another girl up. You haven't even brought up getting an STD test for your new partner, you aren't worried about the consequences, but jealousy.

    That train is already on the tracks though. I can say from experience, in a relationship where 3 people are involved, the person who lays down an ultimatum or expresses jealousy the most is the one who gets kicked out. You set it up already, you're rolling with it, if you put the brakes on it now, and she's down with three-ways, what are the chances, young as y'all are, that he could meet up with her and line up another girl to replace you?

  • Dont ask other people this... This is completely about what YOUR okay with. Its between you and your husband and the other woman. I couldnt do a devils threesome with a girl and another man. Ill sling my thing around the locker room all day but sex is an intimate time that i won't share with another man... But 2 women and me ide be okay with lol.

    I dont like including others in my relationship that much. a single threeway is just sex with a person then its over... its a kink but poly would be instant divorce. In a threeway just to get the experience ide agree to whatever my partner demands lmao! Personally im not much against penetrating a different partner but ide have more issues with kissing. Kissing is intimate to me...

    My suggestion is to discuss with your husband beforehand and agree on what is and is not acceptable. Then explain to the other woman. Its not her place to complain what she can't have as she's joining you and he should live within the expectations of the agreement you come to. I've never needed a penis to make a woman enjoy my time just saying.

Most Helpful Girls

  • The replies on this post are making my IQ drop. Many swingers don't do full swap (penetration with someone other than their partner) and many don't even allow kissing on the mouth, from anyone that's not their partner. Some couples only do same room swap, and some only do separate room swap. Many just do the soft swap, which is oral only. I realize that this isn't a foursome situation, but it's the same concept. You set your boundaries, and your husband sets his boundaries. You NEVER TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM, and that's what I'm getting out of your question. You are both playing with fire, so you can't be reckless and break the rules.
    See what happens when someone breaks the rules.

    https://www.youtube.com/embed/0GKhtMuukcM
    • @Kabluie Many don't Many don't Many don't

  • He also blocked me for pointing out he's a dumb dumb XD
    imagine not understanding a definition of cheating XD

    • Right?

    • bless him. we must pray for the mentally slow like him XD

    • @PrettyPriya take a load of this guy, insults then blocks people when they disagree with him on the simple definition of cheating XD XD XD

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 44
  • There are plenty of other ways to have fun without entering. Just discuss it with him and the other person. I am pretty sure he likes it to be with two women, even if he cannot enter one of them.

  • Let him wear a condom and make sure she’s not close to her fertile days. Show lower the chances significantly enough to go forward. Check the condom after use and ask her to take plan B if it’s broken.

    • She’s not on the pill and after discussing it, would keep the child. We decided not to go with her.

  • I had to think about my answer for a bit b/c I'm trying to genuinely help here.

    1.) How about you two drop this woman, and find a 3rd partner that has already had a
    hysterectomy that can be verified?

    That would solve all issues.

    2.) Sex toys for herself

    These are the only solutions I have with an actual live 3rd participant, the only other ones I can think of:

    3.) Buy a realistic sex doll for the both of you
    4.) Let the 3some dream go.

    Just throwing some options out there, I hope this helps. Be safe and good luck.

  • I think everyone should have rules and limits discussed before a threesome. If everyone is on the same page it will be a ton of fun.
    no rule is unreasonable and I think these rules are personal.
    so , no, your request is not unreasonable. It may not be common but def. Not unreasonable

  • if you're doing a threesome it's not fair to not let him enjoy it

  • I don’t think you’re ready. “You can’t have your cake and eat it too applies here.” No?

  • What you wanna do with her? without him entering her it's not a real sex.

  • I think that number one even if you aren't religious it is wrong, it is cheating, and it will DESTROY your relationship once you start doing things like threesomes and orgys and swinging.

    I don't honestly think any couple who does this are truly happy at all which is why they keep doing it.

    Once you are married the only person in my personal opinion you should be having sex with is your spouse but again MY opinion take it or leave it but don't say I did not warn you.

    Another thing even thinking and considering these things are not a good sign that your marriage is very good at all. Again don't know you or your husband but I am just saying

  • No it’s not.

  • There is a simple solution to this, well a couple of solutions.
    The girl joins you, and he fucks her in the ass.
    Or you have a guy join you instead of a girl, and he fucks you in the ass.

  • So have him use a condome and pull out lol what your saying is u don't want a threesome

  • What do you imagine happening if you do get together? What about the parts that don't produce babies?

  • Gotta have ground rules for all 3somes, swaps, and shares. Some people are anti-kissing, some anti-oral and some anti-penetration. But it has to agreed upon boundaries before it starts

    • Doesn't it break the nature of threesomes if the man doesn't penetrate the other woman?

    • Not if it is a FFM 3some

    • why do you think that?

    • Show All
  • Tell him only anal, then.

    But to be honest, you're not threesome material and are making a mistake getting into one.

  • Just curious... if you won't let him be inside her, what do you think he'll do with her that's acceptable to you? I hope you're not being selfish and want her all to yourself.

    • I am fine with oral/kissing, I just don't want an accidental pregnancy.

  • Here's a couple options
    #1 find some one with birth control that you can trust
    #2 use birth control
    #3 find a "permanent fixture" meaning you simply find a third person to bring into the relationship this is a good option for some people but not for everyone
    #4 just don't do it


    I was actually in relationship with 2 people at one point
    This wasn't cheating by the way as all 3 of us made this decision together and I was actually "the third person" in these relationships usually not all people partners are equal and in this case I was the odd duck

    • I was happy with our arrangement We never had sex as all three of as one of us was scared of sex and I just didn't feel ready I still haven't had sex admittedly and I still don't feel ready

  • I would just say maybe ask him to wear a condom for the first time. Like obviously it would be way better without but just as a first time and when you trust her being safe for that then you can let him fuck you both the same way.

  • Not in the least!
    Have you tried bring sex toys into the picture?

  • 1. You can get a male partner. Easy as that. Still a threesome.

    2. You can try abortion.

    There's no way your man is gonna stop after kissing and foreplay. You can also try plan B pills.

  • Either you are in or you are out.

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