Is love always mutual?

[Anonymous]

We never dated. We had sexual relationship. At some point, his mouth was on my vagina licking me for hours... His future kids was in my mouth, I tasted his cum

This is over. I'm sad. I'm trying to validate my feelings. Love should be mutual, right? We never became even a couple, is this can be love?

[Anonymous]

Love is a complex and multifaceted emotion that can take many different forms. While mutual love between two people is often considered an ideal scenario, it's not always necessary for one person to reciprocate the other's feelings for love to exist.

In your situation, it's possible that you may have developed feelings of love for the person you were sexually involved with, even if they did not feel the same way. However, it's important to remember that love is not just about physical attraction or sexual chemistry. It involves a deep emotional connection and a desire to support and care for the other person.

It's also important to consider your own feelings and needs in this situation. While it's understandable to feel sad or disappointed that the relationship did not progress further, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist if needed.

Ultimately, the nature of your relationship and the feelings you have for the other person are unique to you, and it's up to you to determine what love means to you and how you want to pursue it in your life.

[Asker]

I did feel deep emotional connection and support. It wasn't just sexual chemistry or "craziest wildest sex in my life" or something. My question: This is over. It's been months. But I cannot stop thinking what "really" happened. He said he cares about me also he led me on but I'm not sure if he "really" cared or what he felt. Men easily lie to get sex. Should I validate my feelings? We never dated, we never had memories etc besides sleeping together. So I don't know if I fell in love with him or I just made up this in my mind.

[Opinion Owner]

It's understandable to want to understand and validate your feelings, especially if you had a strong emotional connection with this person. However, it's important to remember that the nature of your relationship was primarily sexual, and that it's possible for feelings of love or emotional connection to develop in that context. It's important to take a step back and reflect on your own feelings and experiences, and to consider what is most important to you in a relationship. If you are feeling confused or uncertain about your past experiences with this person, you can confide in support of a trusted friend or therapist who can help you process your feelings and gain clarity. Remember to prioritize your own emotional well-being and to make sure that any relationships you have, whether sexual or romantic, are healthy and respectful. It's important to have open and honest communication with your partner, and to make sure that your needs and boundaries are being respected.

[Asker]

I guess there were someone else. Not like he was cheating on but I guess he was non-exclusively seeing both of us. He didn't commit, he was leading me on. Keep being with him was hurting me so I ended it. I left one morning, without sayin anything, I walked away never seen him again.

[Asker]

He asked "where did I go, baby?" I didn't answer first. Then after couple hours I said "Home"... He never reached out again. I never reached out to him either. I think if he'd care he'd asked me "what happened you left?"

[Opinion Owner]

It sounds like you made the difficult but necessary decision to leave a situation that wasn't healthy for you. It's possible that he was seeing someone else or not ready for a committed relationship, and it's important to prioritize your own well-being and boundaries in situations like these. It's understandable that you may feel hurt or confused about his lack of communication after you left, but ultimately it's up to him to reach out and make an effort to understand your perspective. If you're still feeling unresolved or uncertain about the situation, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist or trusted friend to process your emotions and gain clarity on what you want and need in future relationships.

[Asker]

My friends keep saying JUST MOVE ON haha. It's hard to do. He never reached out to me, so that hurts my feelings too. Also someone says he maybe got hurt because I left him in his bed without saying anything.

[Opinion Owner]

It's understandable that you're finding it difficult to move on, especially if you have strong feelings for this person. However, it's important to remember that you deserve to be with someone who values and respects you. If this person hasn't reached out to you and hasn't shown any interest in pursuing a relationship, it might be best to focus on yourself and your own well-being. It's also important to remember that everyone has different communication styles, and it's possible that this person may not have realized how much their actions hurt you. If you feel comfortable, you could try reaching out and having an open and honest conversation about your feelings. However, if you feel like it's not worth the effort, it's okay to let go and move on. Remember, you deserve to be with someone who treats you with kindness and respect.

[Asker]

I did move on at some point. He kept texting me, he pursued me. He wanted to hang out again I was like OK and he gave mixed signals at night. After that, I finally completely left him. He asked "where did you go" I only asnwered "Home" Maybe he didn't want to be more persistent I don't know.

[Opinion Owner]

It sounds like you had a complex and difficult situation with this person, and it's understandable that you needed to distance yourself from him in order to move on and prioritize your own well-being. It's possible that this person was unsure of their feelings for you or was not ready for a committed relationship, or they may have had other personal issues that made it difficult for them to pursue a healthy relationship with you. Regardless of their intentions, it's important to focus on your own needs and to only engage in relationships that are healthy, respectful, and fulfilling for you. If you feel comfortable, it may be helpful to communicate your boundaries and expectations clearly with this person, or to seek support from trusted friends or mental health professionals to process your feelings and emotions.

[Asker]

Well, people usually say ALL MEN COME BACK which is true. I'm 25. Every guy I've ever dated or even talked to, reached out again. Even some guys I talked to and I've never slept with... He's the only person who never reached out to me ever again.

[Opinion Owner]

It's not necessarily true that all men come back after a relationship ends or after a period of time with no contact. Every person and relationship is different, and there are many factors that can influence whether or not someone reaches out again. It's possible that this person may have moved on from the relationship or may not be interested in reconnecting at this time. It's important to respect their decision and to focus on your own well-being and happiness. Remember, you deserve to be with someone who values and respects you, and who is willing to put in the effort to maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship. It's important to focus on building positive and healthy relationships with people who share your values and goals.

[Asker]

Well, It supposed to be "Him" who respect the decision. Because it was my decision. He kept maintain the silence.

[Opinion Owner]

True, It's important to remember that in any relationship, communication and mutual respect are key. If you made a decision and communicated it to your partner, it's important for them to respect your decision and communicate their own thoughts and feelings as well. Maintaining silence can be hurtful and unproductive in a relationship. It may be helpful to have a conversation with your partner about how their behavior made you feel and try to work through any issues that may have arisen. However, if your partner continues to display a lack of respect or communication, it may be necessary to reassess the relationship and consider if it's healthy for you to continue.

[Asker]

I left without saying anything. I was gone without explanation or communication. I think he knew what upset me, though. We never became a couple. So we weren't each others "partner".

[Asker]

I did not say anything cause I had no intention to save the relationship or go further, anymore. I was done -finally- But, you left someone doesn't mean you "unloved" that person.

[Opinion Owner]

It's possible to have strong feelings for someone even if the relationship doesn't work out or if you end things without saying anything. It's important to recognize and honor your own feelings, even if they are complex or difficult to understand. It's also important to communicate with others in a respectful and clear manner, even if you don't want to continue the relationship. While leaving without saying anything may have felt like the right decision for you at the time, it's important to reflect on how your actions may have affected the other person and to take responsibility for your own behavior.

[Asker]

How may have affected other person?

[Opinion Owner]

I can’t tell you. It's hard to say how the other person may have been affected by the sexual encounter or the end of the relationship. It's possible that they may have had similar feelings or experiences, or they may have had a different perspective or emotional response. It's important to remember that every person is unique and has their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences, and it's not always possible to know or understand how someone else may be affected by a particular situation or event. However, it's important to approach any relationship or sexual encounter with empathy, respect, and open communication, and to make sure that both parties are on the same page regarding their boundaries and expectations. If you're concerned about the other person's well-being or emotional state, it may be helpful to reach out and check in with them, or to offer support or resources if needed. However, it's important to respect their boundaries and feelings, and to make sure that your own emotional well-being is also being prioritized.

[PositiveFlight]

Sex is always so much more meaningful when there is established love and connection in the beginning. Sex should never be the foundation but rather the result of what is underlying and special. I don’t care what anyone says, there will always be feelings involved even in a friends with benefits situation. Usually at least one person ends up being hurt as a result. When you end up having such an intimate connection with the body of the other person and exchanging one another’s bodily fluids, there are powerful bio chemicals involved. I can’t have a sexual relationship with someone and not have feelings for them in wanting more out of the relationship such as commitment and marriage.

[Asker]

You're right but love should be mutual, no? So mine is not love then.

[PositiveFlight]

I can’t say what he was feeling. Who ended it? If he ended it, then it sounds like you wanted love and were willing to love. But unfortunately he didn’t reciprocate for whatever reason whether it be selfishness or the fear of commitment as many younger males have nowadays. I agree, love should very much be mutual. Love is giving. Both give love to the other. Sex is the same, it is a giving act which is representative of the love. When true love is not involved, then sex only becomes a taking act instead.

[Asker]

I ended it. I don't question his feelings. I have concern about mine. What's my feelings then? Sometimes I say to myself "You cannot love someone you never dated"... Then I say "His cum was in my mouth, he licked me for hours... It is okay to love him? I don't know I'm confused

[PositiveFlight]

This is a question you are going to have to ask deep inside yourself. Yes you’ve been intimate on virtually every level. If you have feelings for him and trust he is a good guy, then don’t be afraid to love him. Are you attracted to his looks, body, personality, what he stands for? If so then open your heart and allow yourself to love him. Once you’ve made that decision and you can fully love, the things you have experienced sexually with him will be small in comparison to what you can experience

[PositiveFlight]

I really believe you should date and put the sex on hold for a while. Give him a chance to be lovable and give yourself a chance to love. Love happens as a result of making a true connection with someone. Getting to love them for what they stand for, developing trust, what makes up who they are as a person, and the wholesome experiences you have together. In the end after all that time spent, could you really stand being away from he who has become your best friend? If you couldn’t stand to be away from him, then there is the beginnings of true love. That’s the foundation upon which beautiful and wonderful sex happens.

[Asker]

I said I don't think he can be loyal he said I'm making assumptions about him but we are not on that level yet. If he'd love me he would be sure we're on at level instead of hanging on me. Now matter How strong feelings I had for him, I ended it and walked away However I don't question his feelings or relationship. I ended it. My question. Can my feelings really love... I mean can I say "Ok I loved that man" I am not sure. Love should be mutual...

[Asker]

So what you think?

[PositiveFlight]

I think you did the right thing to end it. Love should be mutual. I think the way to test love is to not have sex until both have an established connection and emotional bond. It’s something both shouldn’t be reserved to discuss. If you didn’t feel that connection or feel it was mutual, then you certainly did the right thing. The correct order from now on with someone new is to talk, get to know each other, test the feelings for each other, have a disagreement or two, come back together, etc. When the moment is right and you both realize you can’t stand to be away from each other because there is a deeper foundation you have both built together, the sex and intimacy is necessary because you have formed a bond that needs to be solidified even stronger and consummated through becoming one flash and experiencing each other on the deepest level possible.

[Asker]

So you think the felling was not mutual? He DID keep texting me. I'm European and He's American. The way how we grew up is different. he might just play with me or he does everything he could possibly do, you know American men are mostly self centered and laid back. He asked me "where did I go" after I left. I didn't answer him. He might just respect my choice or he simply didn't give a fuck. We, you and I, will never know

[PositiveFlight]

I’m an American man. I’m not perfect but I don’t think I’m self centered either. Regardless of country or socioeconomic group, everyone is still unique and individual in how they deal with others and such. Obviously something didn’t work between the two of you. Love should be mutual and giving. Maybe you both are good people who just misunderstood each other or just aren’t compatible. But I don’t buy that different countries were the cause. If two people truly love each other, that love can and will transcend countries and cultures. And that’s the beauty of love. Both can still keep their beliefs, country customs, traditions, etc. Because true love demands mutual respect.

[Asker]

Honestly, as an European who lives in U. S. I can tell after I lived in this country years and years... It DOES matter those cultural differences. Because, we have different definitions about "falling in love" .. We have different definitions of "true love", and different definitions of "committed relationship" different definitions... An act which shows "true love" might not "actually" shows true love. It is hard to explain different moral codes. Some people do not even masturbate by thinking of someone else. That's the definition of "their true love" ... Vice versa, some people share their partners and they say "love is sharing"... So, As An immigrant, I can tell; the differences of true love might be a lot. Even almost 7 million. Every individual person has different "true love" definition. However, you are right about something didn't work between him and me. That might be "true intentions" or "different moral codes" or whatever.

[Asker]

Let me correct myself: Regardless of ethnicity. Him and I were different, almost opposite. We wanted different things.

[bowenw]

Love should be mutual for a serious long-term relationship to work. If you loved each other it shouldn't be over after having sex.

[Asker]

He didn't love me. This is my point. So my feelings cannot be love then?

[bowenw]

You can be in love with someone without them loving you back.

[Pterodon]

Nope

[Asker]

You mean love is not mutual or my feelings not love?

[Pterodon]

He didn’t love you

[Asker]

Can you read? 😂😂 I didn't ask if he loved me. I know he didn't love me. Question is "Can you love someone who doesn't love you back"

[Pterodon]

You can but it’s a waste of time

[Asker]

Gow you made that conclusion he doesn't love me 😂 I didn't give any information about him 😂

[Pterodon]

If he loved you he’d want to be with you

[Asker]

He said he wants to date too?

[Pterodon]

Then why isn’t he?

[Asker]

Because I left him?

[Pterodon]

It’s over move on. This is a complete waste of time

[karekaaaa]

You did that cuz u loved him
Maybe he didn't love u the same

[Asker]

Can mine be love? We never went to date or we don't have memories together etc

[karekaaaa]

Try to date

[Asker]

No it's over now

[karekaaaa]

So sad to know that by the way he was a friend with benefits And he learned u a lot

[Asker]

He learned me a lot? What do you mean? Don't try to hurt my feelings lol I asked one question

[Asker]

I didn't asked if it's friends with benefits. I asked about my feelings

[karekaaaa]

Do it with other guys to move on

[Asker]

What "he learned you a lot" even mean lol

[Asker]

What did you mean he learned me a lot?

[karekaaaa]

a lot meanings