Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
My boyfriend lacks empathy and he uses violence when having sex (in a kinky way) but he never really touches my body. He wants me to give him oral sex or touch his dick, help him masturbate but he's never even actually looked at my vagina. He does kiss me but not enough to make me feel affection. For him sex is all about games and kinks. He's also got a sissy fetish but its so impulsive, like out of blue he wants to dress up as a woman, then a while later he asks himself why he's doing it. I don't mind this fetish and sometimes I like it but he's so confusing.
One time he told me he could cheat on me if he gets too horny and we haven't seen each other in a while. Then he called and apologized for what he had said, he said he doesn't know why he was acting like that.
Another time he literally shoved his dick down my throat and I wasn't in the mood so he was like "ffs, you aren't doing it right" and got up and walked away.
He's got psychological issues and takes a medicine but I wonder, could he be a narcissist?
I asked him why he rarely touches my body when we have sex but he denied it and said that he doesn't understand why I feel this way.
What do you think?
What Girls & Guys Said
0 2Kinda sounds like it. Regardless it doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship at all. Relationships should be mutual. Giving as much as receiving. He clearly doesn’t have that mindset. If I were you, I’d end things.
When I confronted him about it, he denied and blamed me for creating drama out of nowhere.
That isn’t creating drama. That is you being open and honest about your feelings. I know it’s really hard, but for your own sake, I’d end things. You deserve better.
He really can't emphasize with me. Last week we barely talked on the phone because he went out after work the whole week and I told him how it made me sad and he still couldn't empathize and see the issue. He said I was being dramatic and that I should be happy if he's happy.
And he said I'm tiring him out by creating problems. I'm not making it up though. He really never touches me. I think he can't think about my needs. What kinda man can keep his hands off his girlfriend when having sex?
This makes me so sad to read this. There are certainly some narcissistic traits, but then again a lot of younger guys nowadays seem to have these traits especially when it comes to the bedroom. Unfortunately so due to porn, violent video games, etc.
I think what it comes down to is primarily that he is selfish. Secondly he sounds very abusive both physically and emotionally. The reason I say that is because sex is not designed to be about what he can “get“ out of the deal.
The beautiful aspect of vaginal sexual intercourse and why it was created was to be a way to serve and pleasure the opposite sex (lover) and have joy in doing so. To take joy in knowing that through your effort, a person feels more satisfied and loved and that both of you feel more connected. Part of that connecting is to respectfully experience each other’s body. A naturally wired man should want to see your vulva, and should want to put his hands on your body in a loving way so as to stimulate and show affection. Loving touch in a sexual encounter creates some of the most strongest bonding and chemical reactions within the brain to create satisfaction which is healthy for the body, the mind, and healing.
It’s just my opinion, but I believe strongly that violence has no place in lovemaking, or within any type of sexual encounter. It should start out romantically, and end romantically. Now intercourse and stimulation can certainly become intense and exciting for both, it doesn’t need to be boring, but there is a difference between intensity through both plateau and climax phases, versus trying to cause someone pain or trying to use their genitalia in an unnatural way so as to be degrading or cause harm in an unnatural way that is anatomically incorrect.
Some of the most wonderful sexual moments I have ever experienced in life has been to witness the girl enjoying herself so much that her body is inside out. To see her eyes roll to the back of her head because she feel safe, warm, loved, comfortable, orgasmic, and can release all her outside concerns and stresses in order get lost up in receiving pleasure. It’s so rewarding from my standpoint as a guy.
I am a firm believer that if a man is genuinely kind, romantic, loving, patient, and conscious of the needs of the woman he is intimate with, he will get back tenfold without having to ask or pressure the issue. It’s all about being selfless in both directions. When both can feel satisfied fully and have that sex flush on their face indicating how in love they are through the manifestation of their body, there is no better bliss.
This is what every man should strive for. If he refuses to cherish you and treat you this way and makes it about himself instead while also being abusive, he doesn’t deserve you. You would do better to wait until you find someone who will give you these things and in whom you can reciprocate back the same way. It’s well worth it to actually be in love and fully loved in return. Otherwise sex is nothing but in vein and a mechanical action, devoid of any humanity other than a quick fix at your cost.
Yeah, well I think he's a real narcissist. He blamed me for creating a problem when I talked to him about it.