Is my boyfriend gay?

Question

so i started dating this guy and he's really sweet. We have a lot in common so a lot of flaws of his i just look past and accept them as beautiful. This was until the other night.

He asked for a risqué video of me, so I sent one (by choice obviously) and I was fine you know I went along with my night as usual and got ready for bed.

I really wanted to call that night after he got done with his business but it never ended. I kept asking "are you finished yet?" But the answer was always "im trying, I told you it would take awhile." This went on for like 40 minutes and I just got tired and said fuck it im going to bed.

It might just be me, but im starting to keep suspicious about this. Is he gay? Is he not attracted to me? It's never taken that long for any guy to finish for me and he has a pretty high pitched voice too like a very feminine one. I know its not a low amount of testosterone because he has A LOT of testosterone.

I don't know what to do or what to think or if i should stay in this relationship because it kind of makes me feel very unattractive. Pease help :(

Rainbow_Boy · Accepted Answer

As a gay man, I'd really like to help. Most of my close friends are girls and many have guy troubles, some suspecting closeted gay behavior in their boyfriends. So, you're not alone.

But, before forming an opinion, some more information may be helpful. How long have you been with this boyfriend, and how would you characterize your sex life with him until the other night? Has he usually been slow like this?

It is not unusual for men to start life without realizing their gay tendencies, and that often surfaces during sex with women. It may come out in his undue resorting to external visual imagery, because deep down, the woman next to him is not enough to get aroused. At a young age like yours, significantly long time for him to reach orgasm may also hold a clue.

I had started life wanting to be straight as well to fit better and easier into the society. However, a few initial relationship trials with girls ended in drastic failure. I knew deep down that I did not desire the female body, but believe it or not, kissing a girl has been the hardest of all, like a betrayal to my nature. Vagina also felt repelling, so I remember trying to penetrate it without looking. Later on, after finding out I was gay, I've been able to put two and two together, when I also discovered my strong attraction to the male body and above all to the penis.

Of course, there will also be some signs outside sex, which can indicate gay tendencies in your boyfriend. A high-pitched voice may be such a trait, although by itself, it doesn't necessarily indicate gayness. The overall posture and gait of many gay men carry subtle clues. An increased sensitivity to his appearance may also hold a similar clue.

Finally, his conduct towards people other than you may be also informative. He may not be showing an overt interest towards other men yet, but have you seen him showing sexual interest towards other women? I know doing that next to you would be rude if he was straight, but a natural lack of interest in other women may also be telling. I know that my lack of interest in anything female was not lost to my close family and friends, who did not really become surprised when I came out as gay.

Please feel free to write back if you'd like to discuss further.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion he’s gay. He probably just had a lot of stuff going on. You could ask him what is going on in person.

Neko911 · Accepted Answer

So not being able 2 cum from masturbating once must make him gay? Sweetie you must think super highly of yourself if that's the immediate conclusion you come to

ManWithThePlan123 · Answer

He might have something else like physically that isn't healthy for him going on. Maybe he should see a doctor, or maybe he just has a very high sexual tolerance I'm not sure.

dwcl99 · Answer

I dont know if there is enough evidence here to know whether he is gay or not. Its possible that something else got in the way of him finishing, or he just wasn't in the mood, it happens sometimes. I'm not sure. He might have had some performance anxiety, knowing that you were waiting for him to finish. But its hard to tell from just this example.