Is oral an essential part of sex for you?

[Kerryk88]

Have you ever had a partner that won’t go down on you?

[MrOracle]

I assume your question was specifically about RECEIVING oral.

It's important to me, but definitely not the most important thing. I don't cum easily or quickly that way, though I definitely still enjoy it. But, yes, I expect it to be a part of sex, just as I expect to give her oral.

Having said that, I dated a girl who had TMJ, which is a ligament problem with the jaw, and can be very painful and even result in lockjaw. She couldn't eat ice cream cones (spoon only), or hot dogs (knife and fork only), or anything that caused her to have to open her mouth wide. She even had to be careful kissing. As you might guess, this made giving oral almost impossible for her, even though she was WILLING and enthusiastic and very apologetic about her struggles.

Due to this, she didn't give me oral (I made her stop even trying), and I was fine with it. It's not like she was against it, or that she had rejected me - it was simply a limitation her own body imposed on her, and that was easy to understand and accept. And she enthusiastically did ANYTHING else I wanted to do, so it was not difficult to look past it.

Would I feel the same way if a girl was simply unwilling or uninterested? No - THAT would feel like a rejection. The girl I was with had a very good, very real reason for not doing it, and that's what made it different, plus she had a fantastic attitude about men and sex, and that also made it a whole lot easier to accept.

I've been with a couple of women who were inexperienced and who were concerned about their technique or whatever, and that's also a different thing. They just needed feedback and reassurance, and soon everything was great, but I could understand where they were coming from, and I didn't get upset or impatient with them, and that allowed them to relax, and soon they had it figured out.

I can't say that all guys are going to be as patient or understanding as I am - and I've called some guys assholes to their faces because of their shitty behavior, based on their own stories - but I think a majority of guys just want her to give it a real try - make a real effort - and to communicate. That goes a long way.

[tfan1]

When my wife and I were dating, she was sucking my penis and I was close to ejaculation. She stopped and released my penis from her mouth and wanted me to finish. I said ok but do you want me to ejaculate in your mouth? She said ok, but I said you got a choice of spitting it out or swallowing. It’s not going to bother me if you spit it out. The choice is yours. Well I ejaculated in her mouth and she chose to swallow. I thought she was going to throw up but my energy left me when I ejaculated and I fell backwards on her bed. After she recovered, she said she was never going to do that again. I thought she meant sucking my penis (glad it wasn’t though). For 6 months or so I licked her clitoris and enjoyed watching her in pleasure. She would let me masturbate in front of her but when I got close I had to finish on the toilet. After we got married she decided to try giving me a bj again. But she knows exactly how to keep from giving me too much stimulation. To this day I only ejaculate in the toilet because now she’s also on menopause.

[MountAverage]

What the actual fuck.

[BlueScorpio]

It's not required, I personally tell my husband not to cause I'm extremely sensitive down there and get UTIs very easily if not careful. Plus I'm pregnant right now and don't want run the risk of getting an infection. But truth is, I'm just not that into oral sex.

[chrissykerdock]

i've had several lovers who wouldn't go down on me... but it didn't stop them from getting blowjobs from me because i do love to give them.

[OpenClose]

Naw I wouldn't mind it. I guess I'm more of a face-to-face guy. I mean I'd be all over her, but she only really needs to be all over me from the waist up.

[weysally]

it is with my husband, and he to me,

[mickmrly]

I don't think oral is essential, I think it is a bit weird actually mixing the face with genitals. There's nothing wrong with hands and genitals but just having the face which is used for kissing also being used for genital fluids is a bit gross for me.

After reading the other comments, I am surprised that oral is so common. I'm more vanilla than I though I guess.

[RobT312]

Not a dealbreaker but kinda necessary as i love it. Had a girlfriend that tried but was awful because she hated it. She gagged and avoided it as much as possible

[MrCommodore]

No its not, I've never enjoyed oral tbh, and never ask for it now.

[Shaysturn]

My ex was the same way. What is it that you don’t like?

[MrCommodore]

@Shaysturn: Slightly embarrassing discussion. My ex didn't like giving oral, and it didn't feel great when she did. Ther girls before that did it as part of foreplay, it felt better, but usually but always finished with sex or hand. So I never had any great desire for it or great experience of it.

[Shaysturn]

Helpful. Thanks!

[MrCommodore]

@Shaysturn: No worries, happy to share embarrassing details 😄

[Sirenboobzilla]

I did have a partner that didn't really like to give oral. He was turned off by it. But then he LOVED to receive it. Yeah we didn't last long

[ushagomez]

Yes, for me it’s all part of the pleasure. Fortunately my partners have all been of the same opinion.

[StrongMale]

Receiving oral from a woman is an absolute must for me, as I actually prefer oral sex over vaginal sex. A gal’s mouth feels far more stimulating than her vagina to me. So I want vaginal sex to include oral either before or after. And I am always upfront with women about this sexual quirk of mine right at the start. It’s not going to work for either of us if she won’t go down on me. As for giving a woman oral, I will always do whatever she wants!

[DeeDeeDeVour]

I never had a sexual partner who did not go down on me.

[summiter]

Kerry it is nice and fun at times but it is not essential. I still love sex without oral. Guys do love a good handjob if a girl is not into oral!!!

[dustybiker]

No. I’ve never been with someone selfish. Some people are better alone.

[Apple1996]

Very important to me especially giving oral! I love giving so much and can't imagine sex without it

[TCredo]

same :)

[Apple1996]

@TCredo being a giver is the best!

[TCredo]

@apple1996 100% agree... it's intoxicatingly awesome

[mandyfire98]

It's essential for me. Giving and receiving

[SamIam96]

It isn't essential but it takes a lot of fun off the menu. I've had girl friends that didn't like giving. I've also been with a couple that didn't keep particularly clean. A few times, I just couldn't give them the attention I would have liked.

[SnowedIn]

Absolutely essential but I'd respect a partner if they didn't want to give or receive. Thankfully I haven't been in that position yet. Had one girl who wouldn't swallow but none that wouldn't give a bj. One girl when we began having sex thought she didn't want oral (none of her previous boyfriends would do that for her [jerks]) but she asked me for it after a few times and became a convert.

[Emilyis]

Most definitely.

[melanieeeB]

Nope

[SickB3atZ]

@Kerryk88 in my personal experiences oral doesn't really matter... it's fun to do it as a form of Foreplay but i wouldn't say it's essential in any relationship it's a matter if both parties want to or not

[Paul_in_Indy]

Oral is not required. It’s a nice replacement for intercourse if that’s not available (and it’s often better than penetration with a condom), and it can be nice for foreplay—or to mix things up in a long marathon—but if we are naked and in bed together, there are so many other opportunities for stimulation that oral isn’t needed.

i have definitely had partners who were squeamish about it, and that’s OK.

[Paul_in_Indy]

On the other hand, a nice long blowjob with a cup of coffee is my favorite lazy Saturday.

[Pleaznhim4me]

Hell yes. Otherwise, HIT THE ROAD!!!