Is penetrative sex really worth all the hype?

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Ok, I'm leaving the guys out of this because of course they are going to say yes for them.

Some background first, I'm terrified of penetration of nearly almost every kind. The idea of things going inside me just freaks me out. Yes, this includes toys and fingers/tongue, etc. So I can't believe I'm doing this, but I'm highly considering trying to push past my fears and try this at some point this year to go through with it.

Before I even go through the process of even considering going through all this though, I'm just wanting thoughts about if it is really worth all the hype or if just external stimulation with a wand is enough for the rest of my life. Granted a lot of this will ultimately be up to me, but I'm legit looking for others thoughts. If you'd rather keep it to DM, that's fine. I realize it is a sexual topic, but please understand I'm not interested in being sexual if that makes sense.

Yes, I also realize the irony that there is some guy out there asking the same thing and gets dismissed summarily. Feel free to do the same with me. Honestly, I'm still very far on the "I'm not going to do this" side of the fence and maybe in the end I dont lose sleep over this.

Yeah... legit fear. I struggle to eat and drink at times even because of it.

Guys who read this. Do NOT DM me to ask questions, ask to be my first, or provide me a guys PoV. I'm not interested. Thanks.

[DarkCarousel]

For me it is, yes. But I also know that my body is more responsive to penetration than oral/external stimulation.
I would caution you though, not everyone is the same. It’s worth it for me because I share trust and emotions with my significant other. It’s meaningful for me (and feels amazing).
The reason I’m saying this is because I’m not sure what process comes along with the decision you’re making. Like will you start cautiously through penetrative masturbation or do you have a trusting partner that can/wants to help?

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Probably self then with toys with my wife. Not sure about anything beyond that.

[DarkCarousel]

Ah, well that’s a good start in my opinion. You know yourself best and you can stop when you choose to.

[Ez-Bri-Z]

And I think that's what worries me too. Stopping out of fear and never following through

[DarkCarousel]

I think you should consider your fear. Is there a reason you’ve been fearful? Is this something you truly want? Some things are scary and just because we get past the fear, doesn’t mean that we are suddenly going to like that thing we were once fearful of. If you have felt fulfilled without penetration, is it just that you want to be brave and move past your fear OR is penetration something that you actually want?

[Ez-Bri-Z]

I just want to claim my life back from my fears. All of them. This included.

[DarkCarousel]

Thank you for the MHO. I’m proud of you for wanting to move past your fears, whatever they may be.

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Sincerely, thank you. I'm trying to make this the year I conquer all my fears.

[SnakeBoop]

i love it to be fair and nowadays wouldn't be without it.
BUT when i was younger and first did it my immediate thought was "is this it".
you need a decent partner and confidence to speak up on what you want for it to be worth it.

[CrazyGirl2]

Well yeah! I LOVE it! I don’t know what you mean by “worth it” it doesn’t cost me anything! So is unbelievably satisfying pleasure worth getting dressed up and going out to dinner and dancing? YES!

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Worth fighting through the oncoming panic attacks that will occur

[CrazyGirl2]

Okay, well I didn’t understand what the extent of the problem was. I’d like to ask you some questions if you don’t mind (obvs I don’t want to have sex with you, And be ur “first”) I just have a question that is not appropriate for public consumption. May I DM? As I fear we may have something in common

[SarahRoberts95]

With proper foreplay and a guy who doesn’t cum too quick it can be very pleasurable!

[ushagomez]

If it causes you this much stress then no it isn’t. We are lucky that we can enjoy without penetration.

[Sirenboobzilla]

It's great when done right. But nothing trumps clitoral stimulation

[StephBelsten]

It's great done right, though I have always preferred other stuff over it if I'm being honest. At the end of the day, do what pleases you! It's good to step out of your comfort zone but if its a legitimate fear I think that's different.

Don't force yourself to do something your vehemently against, but if your okay with experimenting then give it a try

[Mia-Wallace]

Well, I was kind of tearing my vagina apart with my fingers when I was 14, before I had anyone penetrating me or having any other kind of sexual relationship with me.

Peneration is actually more important to me than reaching orgasm, mainly because I like to prolonge my pleasure, but I also find the feeling relaxing. Being randomly fingered or dicked around the house is nice, unless I'm working on an important project. And by the time it is night, I'm wet and teased enough to have orgasm after orgasm, and feel subspaced. I like it.

But that is me. Being totally overpowered is a normal part of my sex life. I'm also into pain.

You definitely have different needs than I do.

I can't deny I am biased towards penetrative sex and I find it hard to not recommend it. Something inside my head does think every woman should experience the feelings that I feel and be able to enjoy sex exactly the way I do, and if they don't, they are "missing out".
But is that truly the case? Nah. Different people have different needs, personalities, turn ons, pain thresholds, etc. They should do what works for them.

(TL;DR)
I guess you do what works for you. I say, if the stress is too great and you have responsibilities at your work and a family to take care of, then it might be more reasonable to avoid doing it. You don't want to cause any harm to yourself and I imagine your good mood is important to your wife and children.

But if you can control your neuroticism and if the stress will not completely overwhelm you, then you could give it a try. My suggestion is a trip where you can be away from all of your responsibilities. It might free some space in your head and you might be able to deal with the stress, better.

[Bel88]

To be quite honest... no, not really. I mean, it can be (and is) pleasurable, but it can also be awkward, painful and just weird. It depends. The thing is that it appears to me that you are far too tense and stressed about it, and that's not at all helpful. Of course, I base that judgement upon what I see you've written above, and nothing else, so I could be wrong about that; that's just my impression of you.
Maybe you're just over-analysing it, thinking too much about it, and need to just relax and forget about it for a while. Then, later on, when the thought comes to mind once again be really cavalier about it all, and not attach so much importance to it. In my view it is over-rated, and the hype is just that and nothing more, so if I were you I just wouldn't worry about it and wouldn't care. If it happens, that will be all fine and dandy, but if it doesn't... oh well, you won't really miss out on much in my opinion.

[Msputiton]

Yes.

[Subarugirl]

Unless you are totally turned on… yes it is over rated

[KatherineJ]

Ok, with the right guy it’s AMAZING! So yes, definitely worth it, if the guy is worth it.