Is sex a goal or is it incidental of a relationship?

I see so many Q’s here about how to get laid, why am I a 25 yr old virgin? None of that matters.

It’s the only goal
Vote A
It’s incidental
Vote B
Other
Vote C
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
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Superb Opinion

  • I voted others because choice 1 uses the word ONLY.

    And I cannot accept sex as incidental.

    My reasons are:

    1) when we're younger, sex is extremely important because of raging hormones.

    And when we're still virgins, the desire to try out sex is very strong. It's so strong that it keeps the human race alive.

    2) When the initial hype is over, we want to "settle down".

    Sex is still important. But we also seek love and companionship.

    This is where sex is no longer the ONLY goal.

    3) And they day will come when sex is more than just for pleasure.

    Many by mid 30s want kids. Hence come the abbreviation TTC (Try to Conceive) in many forums discussion parenting.

    Here, sex is no longer incidental.

    4) eventually, for older couples who have kids, sex no longer feels as hot as days of promiscuity. Neither is it as "mission based" as to get a kid (especially those who cannot conceive).

    Sex like old wine, is for bonding, emotional connection, intimacy, aka lovemaking.

    It's an entirely new level, should the relationship lasts that long.

    To conclude, our goal for relationship changes and so is the use of sex (yes, sex is a tool, for lovemaking). It all depends on how long the relationship lasts.

    • True, I should keep answers more general. But seeing as a goal can be transactional to me.

    • If it's "transactional" then it's business. Love will not be involved, although there might be repetition of such a "transactional". (I know a few guys who have regular "transactions" with their whores. Prostitution is not illegal here.)

Most Helpful Guy

  • It's incidental to relationships (they can exist without them) but it's important to people. Those two things can coexist. Same thing for the "I'm still a virgin" stuff.

    So, it may not matter to you -- that's fair -- but it does matter to other people.

Most Helpful Girls

  • It used to be incidental but after leaving romantic interests and not being seen as an original I adopted a sexual-oriented approach and so it’s kind of the goal. It had different manifestations or outlooks but for the most part just that.

    Sometimes I pity the way life rolls like that or really just guys (most of them), but sometimes I just don’t care. If sec were 100% painful for women and that’s all men wanted I would be infuriated. It’s a pleasurable thing so I’m not going to argue against it. It is sometimes betraying that, that’s all things amount to. It’s definitely controversial. I’m working on just not caring for it, and willing to be proven wrong that there are original guys out there that seem amazing to befriend.

    • Was gonna vote incidental but it really is controversial. I was surprised to see other voted so high, so I assume it’s women who have mixed emotions or confusions and men who don’t want to give away that they only want one thing from a female. I expect a cold or extremely apathetic/neutral/ yet logical guy to vote sex as the goal. They’d be bluntly honest because that’s just what they want and for the cold guys just what they want and they don’t give a damn about women. So it makes sense why the other is so high.

    • Oh only 4 votes. I spoke too soon and should’ve waited, but cmon no guy voted it as the goal? Lol a little sus

    • The option was to vote for it as the only goal.

    • Show All
  • For me, it's an incidental part of an otherwise great relationship.

    And with me... no great relationship, no sex !!!

    • Agreed.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 1
  • Well for me it's incidental, but I'm kinda ace anyway.

    • What’s ace?

    • @Rosexøxø asexual. It covers like a whole spectrum, but for me just means I enjoy sex the way I enjoy like, a good pie. Or dancing. It's nice is just not important to me.

    • Omg I totally get this concept. I respect it 100%

  • I already have platonic friends so..

    • But you masturbated to them. Right?

    • No, not the ones that have not shown any sexual interest at all. I don't find women with no interest in me very attractive.