Sexual Relationships
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Is sex a reward women give to men?

A study says that more than two thirds of women use sex as a reward for their husband. If he cooked her dinner and did the housework all week. If he bought her some gifts and took her to some place nice. If he's a good boy then he earns it.

The inverse never happened. Men don't reward women with sex cause women don't need sex. At least not in the way men do. Not a single time. There may come a time she wants it and he doesn't, but she's not gonna work for it.

Yet we're still adamant about the idea that sex is something men and women equally enjoy. That women need sex too. Why can't we admit our biological differences and stop pretending men and women are the same?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • A "reward"?

    If you're in the mood to be cynical, consider the words of Eleanor Roosevelt first, "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." A man needs to voluntarily consent to limiting his sex life to token "reward" gestures from just one woman. Nobody is holding a gun to his head. If he is there, he is there by his own choice.

    What's more likely (again, being cynical) is men and women forcibly taking on their "gender roles." Women may be having sex out of a sense of gender identity, or obligation, or reciprocity. She may feel, "Well, he does all the things he's supposed to do as a man. He's a good husband. He's a good father. I'm so lucky. What does he want as a man? Sex. So, I want to be a good wife or girlfriend. I want to make him happy. Now it's just a matter of testing to find out what that is. How should I dress? How many times should we have sex? How should we have sex? How should I act?"

    They're not necessarily doing this in order to be manipulative. They're not even necessarily doing this as a "reward" or even "only after" a man "first" does X, Y & Z. Of course, there are plenty of women who want to con a man to invest and do the earth and the sky first, and then, maybe, shell reciprocate her gender role (for couples playing their respective gender roles). That's not what's going on in what you're talking about.

    Imagine this. Imagine you're a good looking guy, like Christiano Ronaldo, but not gay. You dress well, you look good. You also think (because of society) that what women want is sex. It's not that you don't enjoy sex. You love sex. Sex is great. You find yourself with a female partner. She fulfills her gender role very well. Let's pretend that's cooking, making good money, and being a great mom. You want to feel like you're a good husband, that you make her just as happy as she makes you. So you may dress up for her and look good for her. You might initiate sex and be dominant and force yourself to have sex when you don't really want to have sex at that moment or that way.

    A lot of people are just biological robots running a social script and playing a gender role (men and women included).

  • The saying "prostitution is the oldest profession in the world"(coined by Runard Kipling) refers to women and human monogamy, not the actual girl on the street corner, women are biologically innate prostitutes.

Most Helpful Girls

  • they say any sexual there's just as much enjoyment for the man as the women but i'm holding out on blowjobs i think men have the edge there but i will give him one if i don't want to have coitus sex at the time or he does something really nice for me which is a number of things... it's not to say the women doesn't enjoy giving one but i assume the man is getting the better end of the bargain which i don't mind at all... i'm not like that i'm not the kind of women who needs to be constantly pleasured i have no qualms about pleasuring my man when he needs it.

  • ? When I want sexy time, I ask/initiate. If he's not in the mood, I do extra chores around the house and then bring photos of my handiwork to him.

    "That's a good little girl. Would you like a treat?"

    O. O *nods reverently*

    And BOOM. Rewarded.

    I don't know about other relationships, but this kitty works for her milk. <_<

    • In a parallel universe this may be true.

    • Eh, believe what you want. I've no reason to lie to a stranger on the interwebs, or anywhere for that matter.

    • It's precisely because you're anonymous on the internet that you can say whatever you want.

    • Show All

  • I love it and would need it regularly, much prefer it over masturbation.

    • You're in the minority.

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 13

  • I've had women I've never slept with imply that they'd use "sex as a reward" but I've never had a woman that I *have* slept with suggest that in any way. I'd like to think that's because I treat them well outside the bedroom and I know how to pleasure them inside the bedroom (both things I actively work at).

    I've also never had a woman I was with withhold sex to try to manipulate me in some way. I've been with 40+ women, a number of them in long-term relationships (a year or more), and they've always wanted sex as much (and sometimes even more) than I did.

    So I suspect that women who DO use sex as a reward, or to manipulate, are probably doing it in response to her man failing HER in some way first. And I see a lot of men virtually ignore their women or fail to appreciate them, which is probably why those guys are having problems getting sex from her.

    Yes, there are crazy psycho bitches out there, and yes, occasionally some genuinely good guy gets played by one, but that's really more the exception than the rule in my experience.

    • Crazy psycho bitches usually love to fuck, tho <3

    • @redeyemindtricks Yes... In the beginning... :)

  • The reward idea presumes that she denies him if she's unhappy. I am a very determined advocate for NOT using sex as a weapon.

  • If ever becomes a reward that's when the relationship stops and not just because of the sex. My girlfriend admits she needs sex daily and most days it's twice per day. We never turn each other down if one of us feeling in the mood because we don't use it as a reward. It's part of our relationship and is not used as a dog treat for doing something good.

    • "If ever becomes a reward that's when the relationship stops" Are you saying two thirds of married people aren't in a relationship?

    • No. I'm saying that's when it's going to stop for me. I won't be treated like a dog working for a reward ever and I'm not going to make her do the same.

    • If there's kids involved you'll have little choice.

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  • My guess is that women often marry for stability and sacrifice on sexual attraction so they are more likely to see sex with their husbands as a chore.

    There are men that women are excited to fuck without expecting anything in return, but those are usually the men they hooked up with at clubs, bars, parties, and tinder.

    • And those men are like 10% of the population. When she gets married she'll fuck them on the side while her cuck pays the bills.

  • Prostitution is a common part of human behavior, I don't know why so many people are blind to it.

    • Agreed. All women are prostitutes in one way or another.

    • I don't believe all are. I think it's a choice all women face when growing up and that it's really easy to choose prostitute so a lot, maybe most, choose to prostitute but not all of them.

    • It's not a choice. It's biology. Females give males sex in return for something else.

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