Is sex painful for anyone else?

[Anonymous]

For as long as I can remember, sex has been synonymous with pain. I know that it's not supposed to hurt, but it pretty much always has.

Most of the time it doesn't usually hurt at first for the first couple of minuets, but after that, its just painful. Once in a blue moon... maybe once a year, I'm able to have sex without pain, but it's not something I am able to intentionally replicate.

My partner's member is not too big, I make sure there is plenty of lube, I've seen a few OBGYNs and all have confirmed there is nothing physical wrong.

Am I the only one who deals with this?

If anyone else has, were you ever able to fix it? If so, how?

[MrOracle]

Did any of your OBGYNs talk about Vaginismus? It's a condition where the girl's vaginal muscles will clamp down due to fear of sex/penetration, and she isn't able to control it. That's the most common reason for women to have on-going pain during sex (i. e., not counting the pain from losing her virginity). It doesn't sound like you are having problems with lubrication - if you dry out, then the friction can certainly cause friction burns and pain and even bleeding - and you're already using additional lube, so that's not likely to be the problem.

I'm not an GYN, but Vaginismus sounds like the most likely reason for your pain, and while there's no magic cure, there are things you can do. You might want to do some reading about it online and see if you think it applies to you. Best of luck!

[Asker]

Yes I am aware of what that is. I don’t have it. I certainly have issues with self lubrication. I’ve been reading up on it for 7 years but nothing seems to help

[MrOracle]

Oh, okay. I got the impression that lubrication wasn't really a problem. So, then, have you tried silicon-based lube, rather than water-based? Water-based dries out pretty quickly so you have to re-apply often - though it's easier to clean up after too. Silicon-based lube is slipperier and lasts much longer, but you need some soap to clean up afterwards (don't get soap inside you, obviously). Again, not an expert, but I *am* a problem-solver, and I don't want anyone to have to suffer to have sex - sex should be enjoyable, not painful (unless you like that sort of thing).

[Asker]

Yes I’ve tried silicone based lube, it hasn’t helped

[MrOracle]

Well, crap. Well, I wish I had some better advice for you, but I don't. I do sincerely hope you find a solution though.

[Surely]

I assume that this occurs with even with different partners. Meaning maybe your partner isn’t contributing his fair share of natural lubricant.
Or maybe you had a unpleasant experience earlier in your life?
I really hope that someone can figure this out for you. Sex should be pleasurable for both parties!

[Surely]

Thank you and good luck!

[Anonymous]

Sex hasn't always been painful for me but I understand how you feel the lube has seems to always have a bad effect on me for some reason. Make sure your very aroused and naturally lubed is the best advicei can give.
My doctor suggested buying the dilators so maybe those could work for you.

[Anonymous]

Maybe try going to the doctor again, a private one with good reputation, even if it's more expensive. There are many doctors that don't really care about checking you correctly to find out what's going on and just check on the surface and say you're ok.

[Asker]

I have

[Opinion Owner]

do you have a IUCD?

[Asker]

No I got off all birth control over a year ago in hopes that might help.

[Opinion Owner]

That's so strange... I don't know what else could be, have you asked your mom/aunt/grandma if any other woman in the family had the same issue?

[Asker]

Yeah, and sister and they said they have no issues

[Opinion Owner]

Oh, ok. I have no idea what it could be, sorry. I hope you find a solution.

[Guy13]

Nope... what did OBGYN say?

[Asker]

That there was nothing wrong and to use more lube

[Guy13]

Yikes... hopefully your situations changes.

[Guccigabbana18]

Nope, unless his you-know-what is too big

[Asker]

That must be nice

[summiter]

Use tons of lube and try getting on top that way you can control the depth and speed. How often are you two having sex?

[Asker]

I do all of those things... right now 3 or 4 times a month

[LazerBean]

Try seeing a pelvic floor therapist.

[genericname85]

guess if i was you, i'd see a gyno about this. for me sex doesn't hurt at all xD

[Asker]

I already said I have seen multiple different ones

[genericname85]

yeah well i wouldn't stop going to different ones till that is resolved.

[genericname85]

i mean what are they saying? they don't understand why?

[Asker]

They said that nothing is wrong, and that it all checks out. Then sent home with some lube and told to have a glass of wine and just relax.

[Asker]

It's been like this pretty much since I first started having sex

[genericname85]

might also be some childhood trauma causing a psychosomatic pain reaction. did you check with a psychotherapist?

[Asker]

I have not seen a therapist for sex related issues.

[genericname85]

i mean i'd grasp at every tiny chance to get rid of this problem

[Keepitreal007]

What pain are you feeling? Try having him go slower maybe. Try a small skinnier dildo and see if it still hurts. Do you relube during? Do you orgasm before it starts hurting?

[Asker]

Sore, like having the same spot rubbed over and over. It's the same regardless of how fast or slow we go, its the same with a smaller dildo and even fingering. It doesn't matter weather I orgasm before during or after, and we relube multiple times generally.

[Keepitreal007]

Dang. That’s odd. So sorry that’s happening. Hope you can figure it out soon.