Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Awhile ago I saw some people here talking about this in comments. Of course, it isn’t a new idea or new to me but it does give me the chance to say what I think about it now. It actually has been a topic I’ve wanted to write about for a long time but something else always pops up that I want to write more. Well, now it’s your lucky day =)
It starts with each of us…
Researchers and sexperts say that sex is more mental for women...but that men think about it more! So if this is really true I would imagine that sex must be more mental for men. Either way I don’t really buy it.
It actually is impossible for sex not to be mental for any of us, male or female. Sex and sexual stimuli actually begins in the brain before it begins in the genitals. And when I say this I’m not talking about stuff like homosexuality, I’m talking about what makes us feel sexual and what turns us on. What’s sexy and arousing to one person’s brain, isn’t so much for the other. Everybody’s different. But it all starts in the brain for us.
In order for me to feel sexual about something or about a woman, it first begins with either a sexual thought, or something that tickles my sexual mind about her. Some women have the ridiculous idea that guys can just look at a woman and we’re instantly horny and want sex. It doesn’t work like that. There still has to be something about her that even stirs that kind of excitement mentally for us in the first place. Women also classicly forget that sexy to one man is just so-so or unattractive to another man. One guy gets a real hard on from this girl, while another one can’t see the sex appeal in her. That’s mental. Something in your sexual mind associated with your individual preferences and chemistry just can’t get with it, and you wonder how somebody else can.
Fantasies…
Another example - if not the biggest - of sex being mental for both men and women is having sexual fantasies and desires. Where do sexual fantasies start? In the mind. We all have them, and we want to make them happen. What our sexual mind is turned on by goes to our crotch. Our genitals can’t want what our sexual mind isn’t into. At some point in our lives we will have sexual thoughts and desires, and these are what construct our human sexual development. Without them, we would never want sex.
A lot of women say that sex is more physical for men, and it tells me how women don’t really understand the male sexual stimulus as much as they think they do. It’s an idea that sounds like it makes sense in theory and on paper, but loses a lot of value in reality. To me, whenever I hear that, I imagine some guy just having sex with any woman purely because it’s about a physical need, with no real attraction to the woman, as if it’s a robotic action. Some women also say guys fuck women who are fat and ugly just because the sex was available. I sometimes wonder if they’re really being serious about that or using insult, because the vast majority of men are not going to fuck a woman who is truly not attractive to him, available sex or not. Why? Because the thought of even having sex with an ugly woman is revolting. There the brain goes again. I highly doubt that most men would just close their eyes, hold their breath, and fuck away. There would be nothing for them to gain from it. A man wants sex with a woman he desires in his mind and has had fantasies about, not the polar opposite.
Some people also say they have trouble with thinking about an old partner while they’re having sex with their current one, or they suspect their partner is thinking about someone else while they’re doing it. This is more proof of sex in the brain. You’re doing the physical act, but your mind is somewhere else with someone else.
Orgasm may be the biggest proof of the mentality of sex. Endorphins are released from the brain at climax, giving that feel-good druggy sense in your mind and all over your body. Physically you’re satisfied by ejaculation or female contractions, but your brain also feels really, really good from it too.
Repression of women...
Often times I hear arguments from some women blaming men for “years of sexually repressing women" in world societies for why you have women who are 30 or 40 and never masturbated, don’t understand sex, and don’t orgasm, and you have plenty of studies with high numbers of these women. That would be any convenient, easy answer, but isn’t really the right one. In this modern world, I am just not convinced that sexual repression of women decades or centuries ago would have anything to do with a woman today not being in touch with her sexuality. Especially when the world we live in now is swamped in the overexposure of sex, not to mention sexual education and sexual imagery is easier to access than clean water. So there are all kinds of things at a woman’s disposal for her to get in touch with sex. Even with the modern glamorization and oversensationalism of the female orgasm and talk of its importance in comparison to men’s, any woman can get in on it.
So it’s hard for me to believe that repression of women’s sexuality from years back would have anything to do with women now. If she grew up in a particularly strict, religious household or suffered sexual abuse growing up, I would be able to understand - and I have talked to women like that over the years online, but I don’t think they really represent the whole concensus of females.
If a woman can’t orgasm or doesn’t want sex, it’s most likely something going on in the sexual brain. For some reason she hasn’t had a sexual awakening yet, or has simply lived a life of not really focusing on it or really anticipating and desiring it, so she’s not particularly turned on by anything or anyone. It might always be this way, or it might just last longer than some others. Either way I don’t really see it as a dysfunction or even as societal repression. In truth, I think these kinds of women are just publicized more which leads us to believe it's still very common. There are men out there who also aren't very sex-driven or care about it much, but it's not popular to really talk about them unless we can devalue male sexual prowess by highlighting ED.
Erotica and pornography are the same…
Both sex lit and porn can excite the mind, when it’s something that really turns the person on. For me most porn doesn’t really do anything unless it’s about the kinds of sexual things I’m into, and even then when I watch some just to see, it’s usually disappointing because it’s almost never how I fantasize about it or want it, but is a lot of ridiculous, exaggerated crap.
For example: when I fantasize about being deepthr*ated, I imagine the woman is keeping me gobbled up non-stop, and when I cum she either grabs my wrists to make me powerless or whips her arms around my hips to hug me deeper into her throat, as if she’s passionately drinking from a fountain in endless thirst until I’m empty. A little too much information for ya, I know, lol. But it goes in part with how deepthr*at porn is a drag 98% of the time. Why? Because it doesn’t happen like it does in my mind. Most throat porn is either that really vicious stuff where the guy is holding the girl’s head down on his cock and she starts gagging, or the girl actually is throating him pretty good most of the way through, but then the whole thing goes to hell when he wants to jack off the rest of the way and cum on her face or while she’s holding her tongue out. That’s not hot to me. A facial that doesn’t happen sincerely is not a turn on, nor is it sexy when the girl holds her mouth wide open to receive it.
Good tittyfkuc porn is also hard to find. I want to see amateur stuff where the guy is tittyfukcing the girl all the way through until he shoots it right in her eye or face and she gets annoyed by it and starts cussing. I’ve been fortunate to see a few of them, but again, 98% end with the guy pulling out of her boobs and j*cking off until he jizzes on them or in her mouth. A real let down. Why? Because my sexual eye and sexual mind are not gratified by that.
Women like saying that men are visual which is one reason why guys like porn, even though quite a lot of women in these times watch it and like it. What women also don’t think about is that reading erotica is really no different for them than porn. It’s all visual. The difference is that erotica makes you have to use your imagination to view sex and stir sexual excitement. And where does imagination start? In the mind. 50 Shades of Grey - both the books and the movie - made a hell of a lot of money off of the lust and sensual gratification of women and their minds. And if all the other sex novels out there women read were made into full length pornos under the guise of novel adaptations, there’s no doubt in my mind that they’d make a boatload of money either.
That’s just how it is…
The mental aspect of sex is really not limited to just one gender. It actually is the natural way of things for all of us. Imagine trying to have sex without even thinking about it or thinking about who you’re having it with. It’s impossible. Something has to stir your mind to want it, and with who. Most guys are not going to have sex with some woman just because she’s there or she asks like women enjoy thinking. That’s not enough to get the deed done. You have to be my type. You have to know what I like. And you generally have to be somebody I’m already familiar with to some extent. A random woman asking a guy is usually going to be a source of concern and question for us.
I sometimes wonder if women are quick to monopolize the idea that sex is more mental for them as another way of wanting to seem as if they're more profound or important in some way, or as if it would indicate that their sexuality and sexual functions have some sort of intelligent depth. Or as if they want to seem like they're above base, carnal desires they view men as having, but really are no different. To me this actually indicates insecurity in women. Men never need to try to explain their sexuality as something profoundly different, but are comfortable with what it is and what they are, and don't really care how people see it.
It also seems to be that by thinking sex is more physical for men, it would be an easy answer for women to live with, just like with thinking the orgasm is always good for a guy even if the sex is bad. It doesn't require women to have any real understanding of men to assume how simple or easily pleased they can be with sex, so they can live with that. But to imagine that males are creatures similar to them or who have their own functions that have to be understood seems to be tough for women to do. Maybe this is because women tend to view themselves as being complex creatures, so to think that their counterparts might be the same way is double trouble they don't want to deal with. So it's just easier to assume that they're simpler, and don't have to put in any real work to look deeper.
Just my 2 cents.
#BrainOnFire #SexualMyths
What Girls & Guys Said
16 19Great take
❄️⛄️I agree with you.
Plus women are sexualised way too much, as a result you get a uniform answer from guys about what turns them on i. e boobs, butts etc.
However, since men are sexualised very very LESS, women's turn on's vary a lot and tend not to be fixated on a pirticular sexualised organ.❄️⛄️
#GreatTake by the way.
I could care less what they think or feel
aaHHHHHHH, this guy's IQ is like 84.
Probably same as men
Please don't let females confuse you as to what sex is. They will try to overcomplicate things in order to keep you "stupid" and maintain power.
I think researchers don't know jack shit about what turns women on in fact not many people know except women themselves. All they ever talk about is males
So if women know themselves so well and what they want, what's stopping them from telling the world?
Interesting take. Can a male virgin woo and pleasure his recently single female friend by stimulating her mind with words?
Would appreciate some help on my question about a friend?
That is most certainly possible.
Ok, can u take a look pls? www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2060297-can-you-explain-why-women-appear-less-innocent-around-less-good-guys
It's mental for us all
So you watch porn even though you have no mental attraction to the woman on the screen? As you had stated you need.
I can't get into porn at all. I have no connection with the actors. Even if it is some sweet romanticized porn, its still two strangers on the screen to me. I dont read erotica either. But I can understand why its favored highly amoung women. And its not the imagery it produces. Its the emotion. Now... i might not be a good example for all women but I'll just say it anyway. I dont have any visual sexual fantasies. Certainly not like the ones you described with mental images like titty fuc**** and where cum goes. No; my sexual arousal comes from wondering how something feels, and the gratification I might HEAR. In fact the only thing I might want to see in the bedroom is a man's lusty eyes. But in reality my eyes are always closed becaused I'm focused on touch.
As for guys. It may not account for much but I've heard plenty of stories where I guy had slept with a woman 3 times his age, or with an obese woman etc. Sometimes refered to as a favor to the women. In one case I even heard a true story about a... lets be polite here and say, a little person. These guys claimed to have no attraction for these women. This also seems to a common concept in stupid comedies, as well as guys needing go scratch that itch if its been too long.
So can you shed some light on why the idea that guys can sleep with anyone seems so common, if there's no truth behind it?
How about how quickly guys can have an erection and will orgasm 99% of the time. While it can take women 30min or so to fully get aroused and maybe only orgasm 20% of the time. For men I think its because arousal is much more physical - and has to be to continue the species. With women more emotional perhaps because she needs to provide nurturance to her young for them to survive. Pretty much everything starts in the brain but the brain has a million different functions. And I'm willing to bet that the sex drives between men and women function a bit differently. Given that we have different bodies, different sexual responses and different sexual purposes.
No. I don't watch porn at all is what I meant. But if I'm going to, I would prefer it to be how I dream about it. I actually think it's women who are more likely to sleep with someone they're not physically attracted to than it is for guys. Women have been known to have sex with much older men who aren't even good-looking just because she likes his status or wants to be some older man's trophy. And there are women who will sleep with physically unattractive men because they think they're "doing him a favor." I wonder if you read this whole Take, because the key point is actually in the last section detailing how women don't really understand male sexuality as much as they think they do. A guy can orgasm easier, but it doestn't mean the sex is necessarily good. That's the ignorance in female thinking. All of our sexuality and sexual needs begins in the brain.
Im completely willing to believe that just because a guy orgasms doesn't make it good. I know the feeling. And I'm not claiming to understand men's sexuality. To me it just sounds like you're trying simplify both genders sexuality and I dont think its that simple or can fully be understood.
I do think it's that simple. The problem is that a lot of people - mostly women - try to overcomplicate sex. Which could be one reason why women have issues with orgasming and enjoying sex. They're overcomplicating it and trying to reach for something in it a lot deeper than it really is. It doesn't have to be the case that males and females are so different or that sexuality is all that hard to understand. It really only is if that's how you choose to look at it.
I will never forget the time I caught my little bro jerking off. I just got home from school and was getting changed upstairs and was going to have some me time with my new vibrating dildo but it had been taken from my drawer, I knew it was him so I ran downstairs to his room in the basement to find him jerking off and rubbing my toy on his ball, I was like wtf and got angry up in his face, he didn't say a word just stared at my chest I then realised that all I was wearing was a pair of panties, when I tried to cover up he ejaculated all over me. I snapped the toy out of hands and treatened to tell mom and dad and we argued like that until we heard our parents car come in the drive, I rustled about in the laundry baskets looking for something to wear but all I could find was an my dad's shirt, in all the commotion the toy had started vibrating as I must of hit the button which didn't go unnoticed by my bro who had been staring at my body the whole time and had gotten hard again. I told him to get rid of his boner but he said he couldn't because I had turned him on so much and we both agreed we didn't want mom and dad to find out about what had happened so I had to give him a handjob, we could hear our parents upstairs and I we to be quick as they could come down any moment. To get him to cum faster I showed him my tits and whispered to him how big his cock was and how I wanted him to cum, just as my folks were calling out looking for us he was cumming I couldn't think of what to do with the so I just pulled over down my panties and ler him cum all over my vagina and then pulled my panties up all over the wetness of his cum. Our parents came down and we both pretended that we were playing Xbox and that I had come down looking for clothes after taking a run. Our parents stayed there for an hour and I had to stay there wet and smelling of cum, which was awkward, my mom sniffed the air a few times and I thought maybe the shit would hit the fan but if she knew or suspected she never said.
what kind of household did you grow up in?
Nice erotica story.
@amarahorrorstory regular Catholic one why?
I think men and women are more alike sexually than they are different.
I absolutely agree that that is true.
I agree 100 % .
Ultimately I think sex is primarily mental for all of us.
I think it's true that the partners looks feed more into the mental side for men. But ultimately looks MEANS mental, because a pretty woman's vagina doesn't feel better. So it's only 'better' in your mind, because of the impact it has on your arousal.
That is a good point indeed. Though I do think looks matter a lot to women as well more than they really admit.