Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Is she lying about her body count?

Girl I’m seeing for 4 weeks is 27. During sex last 2 weeks ago she asked me for my body count. I told her 4. She told me 4 also. No big deal, the level of experience she showed me during our first night was in red, she was telling how she liked it, at what speed, how hard to go. Cool I thought, she really has some experience and is showing me. Amazing.

Last week she asked me again what my real number was, I said 3 with her. I did lie during our first night. She immediately changed her number to 1, I thought WTF. She gave me a story of her having lost her virginity at 22 to her boyfriend at the time. Said she hasn’t had any sort of sex nor sexual experiences between then and when we had sex our first night together, no sexual contact at all during 5 years. And she said she only had sex 2 times with her ex to whom she lost her virginity to. She loves to go dancing and it shows in how she moves, has demonstrated amazing level of experience in sex.

My big question to GaG, is she lying to me about her body count? Is it logical that during 5 years she didn’t have sex until we met?

It’s just incredible to me to that someone would lie like that, it makes no sense.
Updates:
+1 y
3rd sentence i meant “no big deal, the level of experience she showed was *amazing, she was telling me how she liked it, at what speed, how hard to go.
0 1

Most Helpful Guys

  • 1. Respectfully, it's none of your business. What she did before you and what she's willing to do with you are entirely her choice. As it is yours.
    2. Some people might feel judged based on their body count alone. While it's an indicator of some underlying character traits it does not encompass the whole of the person.
    3. Yes, it's something I always asked but I gave indicators that I was more excited hearing her stories and that Way she felt more comfortable and never felt judged. I did/do like hearing stories of a girl's past and I kissed her more passionately and fucked her harder when she told me... for two reasons, I'm a perverted fuck that likes to hear stories about women who wanted to get fucked and enjoyed it, also because I made her feel accepted and worthy and desirable regardless of her past.

    ***If a guy wants to know her body count so he can judge her... I'd always recommend that she run. He'll judge and nit-pick and demean anything HE finds unacceptable for the rest of the relationship unless she becomes completely submissive to him.

    I was a sex addict. Molested at 4 years old, abused by other neighbor boys until my mom realized something was up and told me that whatever was happening... I needed to fight back. At 7 I stood up for myself, they stopped. Then the dirty old man showed up. I couldn't fight him off. Then the cheating and physically abusive wives... I was in a bad place. I'm over 60 myself and my wife is the last. She got me into therapy. We're good now, 17 years good.

    This isn't about me. Two things. Girls AND boys are molested at horrific rates. It leaves scars. Sometimes it leads to horrible decisions throughout our lives. And, people can change. It doesn't matter what her count is. If she treats you right then be patient and watch over time. Hopefully she'll surprise you and make you see stars.

    Truly, I wish you both the best. But if her count will make you feel in any way better than her then she's better off without you...
    Good luck, don't be intimidated by her past. Be a better man than she's ever known and she'll show you her appreciation. Don't judge her past.

    • Sorry for your horrible past, I hope the damage done has healed enough for you to live your life with joy with others. And no I would never judge her, for her to tell me stories I’d be like “she trust me with this info” I would feel great with that level of trust. If anything that she had experiences to enjoy her sexuality wouldn’t surround as she is very pretty and sexy.

    • That is absolutely horrific. I have 2 little boys and this makes my heart hurt. ❤️

    • Fair enough. Then she needs to be reassured that you won't judge her. Like I said, I was with a lot of girls and I loved hearing their past. When they knew they wouldn't be judged (and that it really excited me) they spilled everything. It made for a lot of fun for us Thanks regarding my past. 17 years of a healthy relationship because of the therapy that my wife pushed. I'm good now, really. I'm a happy man, husband and Dad. We're all delicate in our own ways. We have different ways of showing it. Best wishes to you both.

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  • I have some advice for both of you. When it comes to sexual history, don't ask, don't tell.

    • That was policy before but since she asked.

    • I suggest you tell her it doesn't matter. Both get tested and let it go.

    • Yeah I’m trying to get past this. I just have a suggestion for all: don’t lie when asked by your partner whom you’re in a committed relationship with. If they’re not some psycho super jealous type and they ask you just tell them. It’s up to them how they take it. If that person gets super upset and wants to leave it’s that persons issue not yours. You gain nothing by lying/fibbing. You’d be living in fear in the back of your mind constantly. I’m glad I learned my lesson.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Guys typically don’t like it when a woman has a number higher than they do. When you said 4, she probably said the same so you’d be satisfied. When you changed your number, she probably figured she’d better make hers sound less than yours. Guys tend to exaggerate their number and women tend to minimize theirs. If she’s not being truthful, and I don’t think she is, you can’t really complain. You weren’t truthful either. That being said, who the fuck cares? If she’s great to be around and the sex is amazing, why don’t you just enjoy the relationship? Why does it matter if her number is 1, 4, or even 10?

    • That’s what I’m saying, why lie about it. I do not get why she isn’t just upfront about it.

    • And I’ve told her it doesn’t matter if the number was over 50.

    • Now I’m wondering if she’s self conscious about her number. Try to put yourself in her shoes. Why would a reasonable, rational person lie about such a thing? There have to be other angles here.

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  • Last week she asked me again what my real number was, I said 3 with her. I did lie during our first night. But didn't you by your own admission, lie to her about your actual body count? So even if she's lying, then you both lied... So is it about the lie? Or the #'s... As long as she isn't having sex with anyone but you now, doesn't have any STD'S, your compatible sexually, does the past matter then?
    Yeah it's wrong of her to lie, but then so were you, whether it was lying adding or subtracting body count, a lie is a lie is a lie

    • About the STD, she told me yesterday she had HPV. Which leads me to think her count is higher most likely. I have really good chemistry with her but this is WTF in my mind. And yeah the number doesn’t matter, I just want to know so I can flip the page and close this chapter in our relationship.

    • Wait you've been having sex and she's just now telling you she has HPV? that's what you should be more upset about. She should of disclosed that before ANY sexual activity... But HPV, don't necessarily mean higher body count... That means unprotected, unsafe sex... You can get a disease first time sleeping with someone if THEY have a disease... Just like can get pregnant first time having sex

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What Girls & Guys Said

8 1

  • Why are you even talking about this? Why does it matter? Just enjoy each other.

    • For multiple reasons. #1 why would she lie to me on both occasions? Would she lie again in the future just to not hurt my feelings? I’m the type of person that is very direct, I want the naked truth. #2 why lie about body count? To me the count has no sway in how I view someone but if they’re lying that matters big time. #3 I would prefer she tell me her body count instead of hearing it from someone else during a conversation. Imagine if that comes up, I’d be red faced if I got caught lying like that to someone I care about. Wouldn’t you?

    • Oh yeah. It would piss me off. I HATE getting lied to more than just about anything. I always feel like the truth is best. I mean if I was seeing some one new I would for sure tell them I had only been with one other person. But I don’t think I would even ask them their number because it’s not important to me. Maybe just sit down, have a heart to hard, you know come to Jesus talk and get on the same page.

    • Omg. Heart to heart. That typo is killing me. 🤣

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  • Maybe? But I'd be more mad about her having HPV & not telling you before you two had sex...

    My body count is 15 or so vs my boyfriend's >5, & he's the best I've ever had.

    My man was upset that I had a COLD SORE, & constantly asked me who I got it from until I snapped & said "I got it from my fucking mother before I even started preschool like the MAJORITY of people who get cold sores!" I wasn't mad that he was concerned about it, I was mad because he wouldn't take "I've been getting them since I was a kid" as an appropriate answer...

    • You got herpes when you were a kid?

  • honestly does it really matters? so her body count is 5 , 1 , 7 or even 118 . so what?
    that makes her a slut or nun ? it is her business not yours.
    you guys just started dating
    get over it and enjoy your time together

    • I guess you didn’t really read through the thread. I would never judge anyone on their body count. It’s that she lied about it. Heck she if she had 3 partners the month before we met wouldn’t bother me but not being truthful about it is. I don’t understand why people think their past isn’t part of the present. It’s plays a major role into who you are today. Talking about it with those who you love will only help them understand you better IF they want to know.

    • ok , maybe she is insecure about it or she isn't comfortable telling you this things the best thing is you talk to her cause I feel it something you think about so just ask her

  • I mean you lied also. Who cares what her body count is. Not your business if you guys weren’t together.

    • Wouldn’t be my business except she started with the questions first. One thing I’ve learned is that if a girl is curious then I te likely means she wants you to be curious also.

  • I've only been with one man. I'm awkward with him sometimes but I also already know what I enjoy or wanna do. She's lying yeah most likely but you both already lied. Never ask a partner their number

    • Do you what you like and wanna do because of the experience you’ve gained with your man?

    • Sorta. And after my first time I just wanted to try out a lot of things, And it's easy to figure out what works for me in certain areas

    • One partner here too! Sex with the same man for 20 years. Yes I know what I like and I don’t regret not sleeping with someone else. If God forbid I found myself on the market again I wouldn’t be shy about saying what I like.

  • Im 100% sure she's telling the truth

  • boy, what are you two living? are two your head good? what are these counts? Are you racing in the competition?

  • You don't need to have a high bodycount to have lots of sexual experience.
    It's not how many different people you have w x with that counts, it's how many times you've had sex that equates to experience.
    She could've had sex hundreds or even a thousand times with one boyfriend.

    • Correct but she said she only had sex 2 time with her ex whine she says was her only boyfriend before me.

    • Meant *whom she says was her 2nd boyfriend before me.

    • if she seems to have lots of skill then she's probably lying.

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  • She already lied.. you even did too xD I think it is possible, but anything that you both say now about your body count is difficult to trust. It is suspicious she knows what she likes in bed, but maybe she is just very confident and trust you, aware of her body and can tell what she likes in the moment.
    I actually also waited around 5 years from my first time till my next time xD. I did feel a bit out of place and awkward, but way more relaxed and enjoyed it overall and had fun with the sex. First time I was just not ready.

    • :) If I may ask, how many times did you have sex with your first partner? Do you think it was enough for you to get to know what you liked and didn’t like? Also when you said that you felt out of place and awkward, are you referring you felt like this with your 2nd partner? Thank you for your opinion by the way.

    • well... it was only once with my first partner :D.. Overall I had and idea what I liked from fantasies (harder sex), but not in details. Yes, with my second partner I was still a bit awkward and shy in bed. But not that much, and mostly the very first time together. I think the guy had no idea how inexperienced I was, he at least seemed to enjoy the sex a lot ;p

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