Is this a normal thing for guys that are new at sex?

So my boyfriend and I were both virgins when we lost our virginity to each other a few days ago... I've heard that guys have anxiety issues which make them lose their hard ons and make them cum quite quickly especially when they are new to sex. My boyfriend and I started out quite strangely, he tried to get inside of me like he usually does but he wouldn't fit but this time we were prepared with lube. With quite a bit of pain and pushing he got inside me but said he couldn't feel me. I was sure he was inside I could feel the strokes but I expected it to be a very wholesome and intense feeling instead I barely got much feeling unless he picked up the speed.. He said he couldn't feel me much either which got me thinking if it was too much lube or because I was loose but I've never ever inserted more than a finger inside me. Since we had oral he was getting softer randomly during a hard on and he even got soft inside me. It made me feel quite sad because I felt like I was too loose.. Or that I wasn't attractive. I know that's silly cause he gets turned on just by kissing me.. Any way he came in a few minutes but I think he preferred oral a lot more. I've read that many guys can't choose between oral and being inside but he clearly likes oral better.. I am chubby but we worked on a good angle.. He's average-sized. So what are we doing wrong? I've heard it's normal for guys to cum quick and then get soft cause of the tension.. How can I help and increase his stamina because his dick went completely limp after cumming thrice. Not in a row, but with reasonable gaps. In 4 days he managed to eat me out twice and then by the last two days he was too tired to even go down on me. His dick got a little hard and then went soft on me again. It doesn't even feel great when he gets soft inside of me, I can barely feel much. So what can I do?
Updates:
+1 y
He also got soft as soon as he put the condom on and he just wasn't getting entirely hard in it
+1 y
Just had to say. I didn't say the one finger part to show off. I meant that I've tried to get two fingers inside of me for years and I wasn't successful. He tried it too as did my exes before him. I do kegels all the time because I have this habit of doing it because it makes me feel good when I squeeze even if nothings inside me.
0 3

Most Helpful Girl

  • "But I've never inserted more than a finger inside me" Yeah dude, that's not how vaginas work.

    He sounds like he may have performance issues or he just came too much. I don't know. Try taking a break.

    • For your update: When I mentioned the finger insertion, I wasn't calling you a show off or anything. I'm sorry if it came across that way since I didn't explain it. I was referring to the belief that vaginas get loose after having sex or masturbating, etc. Vaginas don't get "loose" from it. They just accustom to the size, but go right back to it's original size. Unless you're putting horse dicks in you, you're fine.

    • Also, it is common that guys can't stay erected with condoms on. (Literally, google it, it's everywhere.)

    • Thanks for clarifying.. And what can be done then? How does everyone use condoms?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • I'd say more practice. Oral is usually a great way to get things super hard in my xp. If above average in girth, it could've been too tight a condom, the regular ones can shrink wrap.

    • I do always suck him but he gets too close after and loses his hardon if I don't let him cum

    • Ohh, he might want to try edging then!

  • Well first, any guy is going to be drained after cumming 3 times lmao, that's actually pretty decent.

    Second is he using a condom?

    • But don't guys stay hard during the errection? He kept going soft and back. The first time we didn't use one but when we tried again we got it on and he went limp.. We wasted 3 condoms cause he couldn't get hard in it.

    • Not always no. Condoms severely kill the friction and feeling that a guy can feel, and since the pleasure is so dulled some guys find it hard to maintain their erection. I personally had issues with condoms. It'd work, but it wasn't optimal, similar to what you describe. My girlfriend eventually got a UTI, and now we exclusively fuck raw. That's solved all of my issues.

    • Also, performance issues can manifest in many different ways. Some guys have trouble getting hard at all. Some get hard and stay hard, but only partially, and other get hard but find it difficult to maintain the erection, which it sounds like your guy is dealing with.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 6
  • I think your boyfriend likes oral sex better because it is safer than the risk of getting you pregnant. As far as pleasurable feelings... no. oral sex does not feel better than being inside someone's pussy.

    One thing to note about virginity. It may take a few times for him to fully enjoy it and calm down enough to feel the pleasure. Sex is strange and feels new in the beginning. I know I had an ex girlfriend that was experienced when I lost my vriginity. She orgasm'd four times and I didn't even orgasm until the third time. Having an orgasm with someone requires you to focus in on the pleasure and be relaxed enough to fully let that release be unleashed freely.

  • Keep having sex and let him cum then play and work on getting him hard again talk dirty get him turned on usually the second time he can last a lot longer

  • When I wear condoms, I don’t feel girls no matter how tight they are. If you ask women in general I think they would agree they don’t feel a guy wearing a condom. Guys new to sex have performance issues not anxiety issues.

  • Its because you have to get used to the sensations.

    • Out of all the opinions yours made the most sense so thanks.

  • you guys are new and more skill needed, sex looks simple but its very skillful work, you should learn more tricks and need so much practice with it.

  • well condom no feeling. You need to squeeze him.

    I suggest kegals girl. Also when you loosened up you probably really loosened which is normal but feels so weird for a new couple.

    • I do kegels all the time. I have a bad habit of always squeezing my muscles down there even when I don't want to which is one of the reasons as to why he couldn't get inside me properly without lube

    • Hm then not sure why he could not feel you. Did you squeeze him inside? The condom does kill a lot of feeling but not pressure

    • I did keep squeezing he felt a bit but couldn't feel anything from the strokes.