Is this gay or not?

[Batkoo0]

Hello to you all. I liked girls in my teen years, but in the same time I have been rejected and this somehow affected me and in the same time I started to wonder what it will be if I was a girl and I tried to wear girls clothes, bra and thongs (I have two sisters), and then I tried to finger my ass too and even fucked my ass with objects and i liked it.. I was 15 or 16 years old back then and now I am 28. And after all that I started to think and fantasize about sucking cock and get fucked by a man.. I even sucked cock once, it was a long time ago and the man couldnt get hard, I sucked his small and soft cock and then we quited, because he couldnt get hard, but I liked it I liked being on my knees in front of him.. I was 20 years old back then. After that I had other chances to meet with a man, but I always quited before the meeting, because of shame, stress and fear.. Then I met a girl, she was my first, we fell inlove, even engaged and lived together for 3 years, but then she caught me wearing her thong and left me for another man.. I was totally broken after that and damaged, but these feelings came back.. Again I want to wear thongs, bra, girls clothes and started to fantasize about sucking cocks and getting fucked. I think I still like girls, but not in a sexual way, I mean I feel different, I turn over to them, but it is more like in the way that I am envy of them, I want to wear their clothes, to be like them, thats why I think I may be gay.. :(

[PBandJ_Nerd]

Wanting to cross dress is never bad and is just self-expression (it doesn't make you gay). But do you think you could perhaps be only sexually attracted to guys but not girls? Are you still romantically attracted to girls (are you also this way with guys)? Reason why I'm asking is because I've heard it's sometimes harder for people who are mix/cross-oriented since their sexual and romantic attractions aren't the same.

[Batkoo0]

Well in a sexual way I think right now I am only sexually attracted to guys, not girls yes. I mean I find girl attractive, but I dont desire to be with them. I think I am still romantically attracted to them tho, although I am not sure. And for the moment I dont have romance feelings for guys.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

Then you could be a heteroromantic homosexual (romantically attracted only to the opposite sex, but sexually attracted only to the same sex). As I've said before, you could be cross-oriented. But that would be for you to figure out yourself honestly. I can't say too much more at this point.

[Batkoo0]

But I don't know what that means.. The only thing that I am sure now, it is that I am not straight, but am I Bi, or really gay, I dont know.. :(

[Anonymous]

That is not gay, that is trans. You wanna be a girl all your life, you envy them, that's probably because you're supposed to be one. If you transitioned then you would be quite normal for a woman. You are suppressing your true nature and keep screwing up your life because you're trying to live your life as a man. It's a hard reality to face, but you aren't alone. Many others have gone through the same ordeals.

[Batkoo0]

Well, you have a point, but I like my life as man too. I like doing mens stuff, doing heavy work, drinking beers with friends, playing and watching football and etc, thats why I dont think I am trans..

[josephinelcajon]

I am gay not saying you are but me and my best friend and jack off buddy use to dress up in my moms clothes and makeup sometimes just panties or dress no panties and do a strip tease for my mom then go jack off. I grew up nudist and she was very open minded and knew and saw we been masturbating together forever. It was a blast to lift up the dress he was wearing and jack him off.

[imanf7]

No straight guy would use that display pic

[Batkoo0]

Well I think I am not straight, yes. But I dont know if I am gay or bi... What is your opinion?

[imanf7]

That's a personal question. Only you know the answer

[Batkoo0]

Honestly I dont know. I have been strugling over this, I am confused and I really suffer from that, because I dont know what I really am..

[imanf7]

I think you have problems, it's better to seek a professional

[Batkoo0]

You have a point, but I dont have the possibility in the moment to seak personal help.. And I dont know when I will and even then, if I could overcome my fears and talk with anyone about that in person.

[imanf7]

Well. It's better than asking strangers who know nothing about you

[Gwenhwyfar]

You might be trans

[Xavier16]

You might be bisexual

[JosyJosy]

Move on already

[Batkoo0]

Move to where?

[JosyJosy]

to something else in life

[JosyJosy]

You promised you wouldn't post these questions again. That'd you'd accept people's advice, look back at other questions and move on in life. Yet here you are, not a man of your word

[Batkoo0]

You have a point, even tho that question is from a while, its not a new question. But I can't seem to overcome this.

[JosyJosy]

Well asking the same thing over and over won't help you overcome it