Is this sexual abuse... I can't tell at all?

so this person is really kind to me. its my step dad. he's raised me ever since i was a child. buys me everything and treats me as his own. i had panic attacks and he tells me that he loves me and he pays for my gas... my school. everything. even got me a job. i have this weird eating disorder and he even makes me food and stuff


once he got mad at me and to cheer me up he bought me coffee and apologized for yelling
today he came home kissed my mom and then hugged me and told me how proud he is of me almost finishing my architecture degree
see a nice person overall... people sometimes even take advantage

i live pretty well bc of him bc no one works in my fam but him. might even score a new apartment and he said he’d pay for half

this is where it gets weird

he would give me back massages bc my back hurt... like badly... he would help me with homework and massage my back... well i also had this odd kneee problem and there he was massaging my knees. when he’d give me back massages he would touch my bum.. i dont think thats weird bc in my family we tend to touch each others bum as a form of love haha
.. like a little slap haha

but yeah i didn't mind that

so one very very recently he touched my back

then went to my side kinda where my side boobs are... and started masaaging that (like under my arm pit)
... and started masaaging that (like under my arm pit)... he stopped and kissed my cheek... again... normal... then he started feeling my face cheek and then my chest... then he somehow made his way to in the middle of my boob area... i was like half paying attention and half concentrating on doing my homework
.. so i stayed there forzen
he didn't touch any if the boobs just in the middle (my boobs are small) and i was like HEY YOU TOUCHED MY BOOB
and he's like nah i didn't lol.. and he's like nah i didn't lol

so today again i told him i was gonna go for a drive
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Updates:
+1 y
but as he was massaging my knees i noticed that he was looking at my crotch sometimes... i felt uncomfortable and looked away as my dog was doing something... and as i was touching my dog and he was massaging my knee he but both of his hands on the top of my thigh and he managed to touch my crotch with his finger
+1 y
(pants were on by the way)... but then he moved to my knee again... again... I don't know if this is odd or not. he respects my privacy over all... sometimes i even tell him im in my room with a bra and he's like ok not coming in... so I don't know
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Superb Opinion

  • i had this happen as a kid, sounds like he is grooming you like predators do. he touched your crotch! not okay!!! tell someone before something more happens.

    • im 21 so not really a kid... but hey i mean i decided i won't let him massage me or anything anymore but i need his $$$. plus im also moving out. yes there are smaller children but they are very young... and its his children... perhaps since im only my moms child he sees me different as i look very similar to my mom but younger

    • its odd tho bc i do respect this person... and he hugs me and is fine... ibut yeah i dunno

    • you said he touched your crotch he is def pushing as to what he can get away with, your age is irrelevant he is crossing a line especially as a step parent you know? the best thing i can say is try not to be alone with him if thats at all possible

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes it is.

    You think he is kind paying all these things for you and stuff? He shouldn't even be massaging you in the first place. He is only doing that, to get what "he wants". . and he did some stuff already. Please be careful

    • oh no massaging is fine. i massage his back sometimes too. again we are a very touchy family... but private parts are never touched

Most Helpful Guy

  • @ Asker from the other thread.

    yes what you are looking at is someone seeing what boundaries they can push.

    this is something you need to put a stop to.

    also are you an only child or have younger, older sister?

    • Also as per the other thread. Did you cover this with @agape93 ?

    • they never responded so yeah I don't know ahhaha

    • Okay couple of things. It’s fairly classic boundary investigation, the denial bring a clear indication. You need to do a couple of things. Tell him you are not happy with this and exactly why. Also that it stops. The next bit is making sure it does not happen or is not happening to any sister, step sister. Now depending on how your mum is you will need to mention it, how much detail is up to you, and depends on your relationship to your mum. Once you stop it for yourself, there is a duty of care to your siblings. Imagine when you are 30 one of them mentioning how something happened...

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 3
  • Yeah that seems creepy.

    • yeah but i really dont know... we are hispanic so we tend to be very close.. sometimes i slap my moms butt as a joke... and we kiss each other on the face cheek and stuff... so i really dont know.. i really can't tell... its weird... this guy used to change my diper... he did nothing weird to me as a kid either... not that i remember..

    • I can't say 100% either way, but if a parent did that with me I'd be really uncomfortable with it. I can understand cultural differences, for example, a nudist colony might think someone having nude pics of their family is normal. and elswhere the neighbors might call the police. it's a grey area, but i wouldn't want a parent touching me like that because it seems like sexual touching to me.

    • yeah exactly... its a tough spot... i guess ill continue being distant when it comes to massages and stuff but yeah.. ill be careful... i dont think he would rape me or anything..

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  • sounds off to me tell him there's boundaries and he is crossing them if you don t want it say no

  • What he's doing is wrong. He's fuckin' up.

    This is not good. This is not acceptable.

  • naughty daddy