Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
This they may only be rated mature and if I need to update please let me know.
I know this isn't everywhere and everyone, but couples/sexual partners rarely talk about sex. Especially in freakin Oklahoma. Gheez. Guys will talk to other guys and women will talk to other women about their sexual frustrations, fantasies, compromising on what each partner can agree on to what new ex
periences they are willing to try, telling the other person in the act/moment what feels good and what doesn't, having understanding and willing to let go of a fantasy if your partner is not going to be open to it instead of throwing a fit like children and going elsewhere to fulfill what you feel you're missing out on because your buddy once said he did so now you have to not have this "he's got one up on me" mentality or you saw it in a porn video (remember people that stuff is fantasy/fiction - not all the time, but statically the number of people acting out what they see in porn in very small)I
A little about me so you know where I'm coming from.
Let's start with porn: I watch it occasionally (used to watch it a lot more, but it's really boring now and I'll tell you why in a moment). From porn there are fantasies that have developed, but I also know for a fact a lot of them will never occur and I'm ok with that. I'm a reasonable guy.
Expectations and unwillingness to compromise with my partner when I was married intimately because in my late teens I got mixed up with the wrong dude that was older, attractive guy, had a way with people (dude was in sales and could sale $%!* as an accessory to a white dress) had a way with the women (insane womanizer and possible sex addict). His username for things was ICanTakeYourGirl (and he did all the time;slept with other guys girlfriends while his girlfriend was at her place. So enough of that. I was a loner up through high school, made good grades, didn't really have any direction after high school, 6'1" and weighed 135 until I was 25 (could have been all the partying that came shortly after high school that didn't allow any weight gain), but one problem I didn't have was maintaining a girlfriend (sometimes not for very long, but usually replaced pretty quickly. Anyways I met that dude shortly after high school and he took me under is wing I was a blank canvas that he could use to mold me into anything he wanted (which didn't take long to sculpt, but I always new I wasn't headed down the right path, but all the parties, traveling, etc hid that thought. Then I met my ex-wife which we dated for several years before marrying and I wanted her to be just like my friends wife who was open to so many things (and I was truly a dick because we had arguments and I threw fits because she wouldn't do the things my friends wife would do)
Last about me, I've had all kinds of sexual experiences (kind of just went on a sex spree after my divorce), and there's still a lot I haven't had, but I now realize that if I don't I'm ok with it. My experiences have been with some extremely breath-taking looking women in upper social class (usually pretty lame and most of the time don't wanna talk about it during, after, or ever; I'm mean super boring and not because I didn't try to spruce things up, but it just wasn't happening), (before I move on I don't have a type (I mean I have preferences, but not really a type) instead I gauge my attraction (this is in order) based if there is a physical attraction, the first interaction, the eyes, and what there interests are and if they have any hobbies where they can teach me something new.) (If you'd like to know my preferences please ask. Ok moving on, so yes gorgeous superficial out of my league upper class citizens (I was skinny, but I look good in a speedo) which didn't last very long because most there friends were lame and then I realized they were pretty lame. The second type I've been drawn to are middle to lower class punk and metal women with lots of tattoos, piercings, and a lot of black. These are women I have to be in the mood for because they are always (or haven't met one yet that are hellcats where I don't leave where blood has been drawn, scratches, and bite marks. Another is the straight up crazy (bat$%*! crazy). They look sweet and innocent in the open, but a demon possesses them and doing things, things I haven't ever found the words for. I've had sexual experiences in public (several: ask if you wanna know), when visiting with my mom and brought home the loudest screamer I couldn't get to quite down, done some shameful things, injured my several on a few occasions when doing so, and there's other stuff I could have probably mentioned and if I over shared or have pointers of what I could modify I'd appreciate it. I'm new to online communities.
I know this was long and drawn out and even though I've been with what most people would say are extremely gorgeous women, the fact that I've had some insane blow your mind sex, had many experiences in the matter (not a lot by the way; was a faithful relationship guy for a lot of it). I will never forget the last one I let get away. The sex wasn't insane, she was pretty, but not the prettiest based on what society would compare her to some of the others I've dated/slept with, and we didn't due anything wild and crazy. The one thing that was different from the very beginning was we talked about it during, after, and if the conversation ever came up. After a couple of months I knew exactly where and how to kiss her, where and when to touch her in certain spots, how to position my pelvic bone in conjunction with hers based on position, new by the look in her eyes and when certain muscles tightened that she was going to orgasm. There was actually very little foreplay which I wasn't used to, but it is by far the best sexual experience I have ever had. Every single time (which happened 4 to 5 times a week) it was angelic for the full 2 to 3 hours which lasted a total of 3 years. That spark never went away because of communication with setting expectations regarding likes and don't likes, what open to doing or trying and what not, and the continuing to talk about it.
Life is stressful (can be more or less depending how you make it) with things like finances, planning for the future, family, work, etc which takes up a lot of attention mentally. Sex shouldn't be on that list. Sex is pleasure. It shouldn't be a way to escape from other problems, but a way to turn yourself off from everything else going on in the world and it's releases lots of dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin to help improve mood.
I challenge you to talk to your partner to understand what each one of you hope to fulfill sexually in life, determine if a partner doesn't agree with something then figure out it is something you can be ok with not being able to fulfill or you won't be ok with it and need to keep searching for the right person (or hope your partner will allow you to fulfill it with someone else: which will likely come with guidelines.) Also tell each other your likes and dislikes constantly at first (every person's body is different and not all people have explored their own bodies before so it may take some work because they likely don't know what they like and don't like). Once you have this down I truly believe that less time will be thought about regarding sex and can focus on the things in life that are constantly changing.
Of course none of this has been studied, but another thing I experienced with that extremely magnificent individual was I didn't even pay attention to other women or have a thought about wanting to have sex with any other women (you know those thoughts where you see someone sexually attractive and think out what the encounter would be like and don't know man or woman say they haven't). I didn't watch porn or even masturbate for that 3 years.
After I messed things up with her (and if you wanna know about it you can ask) she met a wonderful guy who was able to provide her what she couldn't wait for in me and I couldn't be happier for her.
I don't know if this will help one perso answer some of their questions on this site, but if not thank you for letting me rant.
#healthier
#sexuality
Most Helpful Guys