Sexual Relationships
1 mo

Last night I cried bc my boyfriend can't make me c*m?

Hi there, the title is straight to the point. I have known my boyfriend for years, and I have been with him a year this Sunday. I love this man so much, and I love to spend every second with him. And I felt terrible after the events last night.
I love everything about Mt boyfriend. But he has an insecurity about his downstairs being on the smaller side. Which, I always reassure him about. However, (I haven't told him this) it doesn't pleasure me at all. I've tried putting a pillow under my hips, every trick in the book. He can sometimes find the cl*t, but sometimes presses to hard or stops/changes speed or something. We are also eachothers firsts, so of course, both of us are not overly experienced. But I am slowly starting to envy him as he always finishes, I don't stop till I please him. And he keeps saying how I'm getting really good at doing this and that. Not being able to finish or anything never really bothered me. Being intimate with him always made me feel something special if that makes sense. Until last night.
I have a higher sex drive than he does, even if im not completely satisfied. And we haven't done it in a while. He finished within 15 or so seconds, and I didn't feel anything. Sure, we did a little foreplay. But it wasn't enough to satisfy me. Instead of trying to finish me off, he gave me a goofy smile, then cuddled into me. Usually, I'm okay with it, but this time, I smiled back hoplessly, then going on my phone. Yep. Horrible move. I still feel terrible. I went to the bathroom and started crying. If we ever do the deed, and for some reason he loses it or something, I'll make it my mission to satisfy him. But the fact that he didn't bother to at least try upset me, I suppose. I feel terrible. He obviously can't help not finishing early. I've always understood until last night. I can't even make myself finish, never mind my boyfriend doing it. Sometimes I worry, it's me. Any advice or something would be appreciated.
1 2

AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion

  • Here's something to try.

    Pick a porn video where the guy does oral on the girl until she cums, doesn't matter what they do after that. Watch the video with your boyfriend and let him know you like how the guy pleasures her, and you'd like him to do that to you. Encourage him with positive words while he pleasures you; you can play the video over and over if you want, while he's pleasuring you.

    It's possible you have a very sensitive body that needs to learn how to orgasm. Work (and play) together so that you both learn how to pleasure each other.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree with (most) everyone below... it needs a lot more communication, but when you say you can't make yourself finish, you mean "in the short time he lasts" or at all. Like, you cannot give yourself an orgasm? If so then THAT should certainly be looked into.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I'd so cry too!

    Sit on top of him after a cuddle break and demand to cum!

    Teach him how to make you!

    Get a toy, sucker does wonders, get a sleeve for his thing..., Sit on his face, girl do what you need to orgasm!

    My besty had this issues married for 10 years and broke down with me and after she made him please her she was so happy she cried when we talked next!

    If he can't accept you need more and your own stimulating with fingers more then him then that relationship is over! He is to selfish!

  • I've never been with a guy that can make me cum everytime but I think that's on me, I get so up in my head thinking and distracted. It doesn't really bother me. Usually what I do when he's cum inside me because im Usually good and horny by that stage is I pleasure myself to orgasm while he holds me and tells me I'm beautiful and I Usually end up crying as I cum sometimes squirting, on the plus side seeing this he gets hard again

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 14

  • have a talk with him about it, communication.

    • I would, but I (stupidly) lied from the beginning of our relationship, saying that I have been satisfied. He knows that I don't always finish, though.

    • since he knows you dont always finish , talk about it with him, tell him whats going on, be honest

  • Have you ever thought about having a boyfriend on the side, to provide you with the sexual pleasure you deserve?

    • No. I love my boyfriend more than anyone in the world. I would never treat him like that

  • Maybe add in some toys during sex to make you cum

    • I did suggest that, but I'm not sure if he knows I'm being serious or not

    • It seriously helps. Vibrator during sex and a dildo while receiving oral. It's soo amazing

  • are you in control of your emotions or is he in control of your emotions?

  • It doesn't sound like it is you at all. I suggest you tell him that you want to finish every time, just like he does. Warn him that you're going to finger yourself going forward when you do the deed. Also try using a small vibrator on yourself while you and him are doing it. If he objects to these things, suggest to him that the two of you need to see a therapist.

  • As uncomfortable a conversation as it’s going to be. You have to tell him. Communication is so important and there is nothing for him to fix if he doesn’t know. You can approach it gently, but be honest. The two of you will need to find a middle ground where you’re both satisfied in order to have a good relationship.

  • Did you teach him what buttons to push and what dials to turn to make you cum?

  • find a better man that ACTUALLY CARES about pleasuring u

  • 69 and get a vibrator - dildo or bullet sized. I use that on my wife on her clitoris and I make her orgasm 1-3x. Remember girls usually don’t orgasm just from vaginal - primarily has to be clitoral orgasm 👍🙂

  • Is he too small? Or does he just finish too fast?

    • Both

    • I wish I could say different but if he's too small to give you pleasure there's not much to be done

    • How small is he to not be pleasurable? Have you tried using your fingers?

  • You just might need some counseling from a sex therapist and maybe you and your boyfriend maybe some sex couseling to see why you can’t be sexually satisfied. There also ways and techniques that they can teach or tell you to make the sex both enjoying and sastifying.

  • What you describe is all too common with people that are inexperienced and have not figured out how to please their partner. You have to open the lines of communication in a positive way and let him know what feels good and what you want him to do. Also go together to a sex shop and select a toy or two to add to your sex play. Also don't be afraid to use the toys on your own to find out what you like.

    Have you made yourself cum before? If so then have him do what you do to yourself.

  • Definitely bring toys I to sex. Toys are your best friend. I love using them during sex since I have problems finishing.

  • How old is he?

    • He is 20

    • Happy to chat it through if u want. Drop me a message or follow me and I’ll message u

  • Poor you!

  • Need to find a man that can make u cum

  • Dick game weak asf

  • If you let him enter through the back door you may change your opinion on how big it is then. At the same time use a dildo or something to enter the front door since it’s a much bigger door.

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