Last night my boyfriend kept trying to finger me while I was sleeping. I moved his hand away a lot but still continued to wake up with his fingers in me?

[Anonymous]

It’s happened on more than one occasion but.. here's the most recent. So I just remember waking up at least 5 times through the night with him trying to stick his hands in my pants and trying to rub my clit. Once I woke up and actually came to I swatted his hand away and pulled the covers over me more. Then it happened more and more. It felt like every hour I was woken up by him fingering me and I literally got pissed as fuck and told him to stop or I’m going in another room. Sooo sure enough I’m woken up again at 4:30 am and I had to get up at 5 anyway for work so I just got up and left the room and started my day. I didn’t talk to him the rest of that morning and didn’t respond to his texts while I was at work. It was super super annoying and i don’t even know what to say to him? Why on earth would he be doing that allllll night after I tell him to stop and slap his hand away numerous times.. so how do I go about telling him? I don’t want to upset him but it has to stop.

[MrOracle]

You need to talk to him. Given that you told him "no", it wasn't right for him to keep going. Maybe he was trying to get you horny because he wanted sex - and maybe having a quickie could have let you both get some sleep (not that you're OBLIGATED - I'm just listing a possible solution).

You resolve these kinds of issues by TALKING ABOUT THEM and helping your partner see your perspective, and not just their own. And if they're so selfish that they won't stop, then you kick them to the curb and find someone better.

[eatadic]

You tell him that when you tell him no, you mean it. And if he can’t respect your boundaries, he’ll lose sleepover privileges.

[goddess87]

What do you mean you don't want to upset him? He's upsetting you. Call his ass out. You should also be loud as fuck all night while he is sleeping and see how he likes it being miserably tired for work

[Chanel1981]

I would be furious! You'll have to talk to him, being woken up throughout the night isn't conducive to a productive/pleasent work day

[LexiR1992]

Just talk to him be open and honest. Tell him you didn't like it and no means no

[Anonymous]

What a jackass. Tell him that you don’t like it. Just that - firmly and bluntly.

[CallMeDave]

I think I'd just tell him that he can touch you like that when you're having sex - while you're awake, but when you're asleep you don't want him touching you like that. If he continues to do it, I think you need a different boyfriend. Even if he doesn't you might because what you've described already shows a lack of respect for you and/or a lack of self-control and both are not good traits.

Is there somewhere else you'd be OK with him putting his hand on you while you're asleep? If so, you can suggest that those places are OK and maybe that will satisfy him. If you just don't want him touching you at all while you're asleep then tell him that.

[TheCunningLinguist]

He was being disrespectful! Tell him if he does it again he will have to sleep alone and that you will cut him off from sex he has been getting until he learns to show hou respect.

[CarpetDenim]

Withdrawing sex is a classic manipulation tactic and a pretty shitty thing a lot of women unfortunately do. It's being deliberately negligent of a partner's needs, don't encourage that.

[TheCunningLinguist]

@CarpetDenim he is already being deliberatly disrespectful. I'm not saying to do that for just any little thing but, in this case, he is putting his desire (yes desire, as much as I love sex, even I will admit it's not a need) before her need (yes, an actual legitimate need) with no respect to her person.

[johnnyB3]

@kat_puppies your last comment explains everything now, have a good day

[Zendrya]

that's considered rape

[Benkov]

No, thats not

[Nahid1234]

Buddy, she didn’t give her permission?🤦‍♂️👀 What the fuck, are you reading?🙂🙃

[Nahid1234]

Him *

[Zendrya]

@Benkov rape is the unconsensual penetration of vagina or anus with a penis, any other body part, or object.

[LexiR1992]

Technically by the definition of rape. It is rape.

[Nahid1234]

Agree, Lexi.

[Benkov]

Before you shitting on me, i totally disaggre with the man, its not normal, but i try to explain it from a rational persprlectice. Tl;dr: i only want to disapprove that this is rape. So bruh, rape has became a broad expression nowadays. Consider this deed what his man did like maybe your girl won't stop flicking your ear all day. Annoying as hell, isn't it? Did she cause any permanent emotional or physical damage? No! Nor did he. The other factor is that they are in a relationship, they are comfortable touching each other, its not like a stranger groping you. This was just considered as a continual discomfort. Her man needs a psychiatrist of course, but this is not what rape used to mean...

[LexiR1992]

Would it be okay if your girlfriend tried to finger your butt all night while you were sleeping?

[Benkov]

You missed the point... I said i disagree with that fingerbanger guy. If my girl would do it, yes, it would be annoying as hell, as i mentioned in my last comment! But its still not rape, just a monot-major (it depends on person) discomfort and annoyance

[Benkov]

Minor *

[Kat_puppies]

@LexiR1992 i totally agree with her, he raped her

[Coconut_Man]

@Benkov
https://i.imgur.com/bc0NLG0.gif

[Zendrya]

@Benkov try telling the police that

[Benkov]

But again, you all still just missed the point... I was just confuting the meaning of the term "rape". I still despise what that man did. Why would she want to go to the police with this? Oh please dont start that goddamn feminazi victimhood shit again... Just check up wikipedia if you dont believe. It starts like this: "Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse...". Whats sexual assault you ask? "Sexual assault is a sexual act in which a person is coerced or physically forced to engage against their will." The man clearly just tried to do some weird finger play (take it aside that its just weird as fuck) and got tuned down. And they are in a relationship for Christs sake! Couples do weird things. He didn't threaten the girl or anything like that. With this momentum of yours, i could kill an individual for flicking my nose and i can say it was self defense and i felt being in danger. The world would be a way worse place if things were like in your utopia.

[Benkov]

One more word. Decency

[Asker]

Well in almost any other circumstance like @Benkov is saying, it would be considered rape. In this case I never even thought of it as rape, more as an continued annoyance as he stated. If he wasn’t my boyfriend and just some stranger I’d definitely look at it differently! So I would have to say you’re all right

[Benkov]

Thank you!

[Kat_puppies]

@Benkov lol it was rape, even if he was her boyfriend, this is the 21st century, anything nowadays can be countered as rape so get your head out your ass and deal with it.

[Zendrya]

whether you think of it as rape or not doesn't matter, it is. I never said she should take it to police. I just meant if you asked a cop he would say it was rape. As for the relationship, he doesn't respect you so why would you be in that relationship. You said no, he continued... that's wrong end of story. I'm not a feminist but I do believe in healthy relationships.

[Benkov]

So, am i a sex offender because i look at women? Thats ridiculous. Im glad i dont live in the US or those other western overly liberal countries.

[Kat_puppies]

thank you @Zendrya

[Kat_puppies]

@Benkov dude if you lived in the us back when slavery was still a thing and you was black and staring at a white women, that would be rape.

[Zendrya]

@Benkov no... that is not the definition of a sex offender... do you not understand definitions? you're comparing apples to elephants

[Benkov]

Sry i meant to write rapist. In my native language it nearly means the same.

[Benkov]

Kat. If my grandma had wheels, she would be a bycicle.

[Kat_puppies]

@Benkov get over it, the world is crazy

[Kat_puppies]

@Benkov your missing the point, we are not talking about your damn grandma we are talkiing about this young lady's boyfriend raping her.

[Zendrya]

@Benkov my answer remains the same... you'e comparing apples to elephants

[Benkov]

It was just a satire

[Kat_puppies]

@Benkov that was changing subject

[Benkov]

It was just a satire for how a dumb example yours was

[Kat_puppies]

@Benkov lol what example, if you thing I'm playing about the slave thing i take highly offense because one I'm black and two, it's true

[Kat_puppies]

It was a sign of sexual assault and rape and white people scooped their eyes out for punishment jackass

[Zendrya]

@Benkov but it wasn't just an example I made up... I literally took the definition from the dictionary! What I am saying is a fact, not an opinion... just because you think raping women is a simple annoyance doesn't mean the rest of the world does or even should

[Kat_puppies]

Preach it @Zendrya

[Benkov]

Zend. That comment about the example wasn't for you. I agree that i wrote the wrong expression just before. Kat. The example that if i was back then and if i was black. I am not back then and i am not black. I could not experience what it was like nor you. Thats why i said it is dumb. Taking offense in me not willing to imagine myself into a past event is just childish. I did not spit on your ancestry or like that, i wouldn't tolerate that either. Make up your mind

[Kat_puppies]

@Benkov no the fact that you called it dumb was offensive, you don't try to be in somebody else's shoes cause you don't got no damn heart scum bag.

[Kat_puppies]

@Benkov now get your damn heartless ass out, we don't need your saltiness.

[Benkov]

Salt? Haha. Irony much? If a personal opinion from a stranger is soooo offensive for you, then why are you on an open forum where free speech is encouraged? Otherwise why does it count heartless if i dont want to imagine myself into one's shoes? You most likely know nothing about me, about my personal life, my habits, my feelings. You would be surprised, i guarantee! That goddamn prejudices... What if i am the new Gandhi undercover? You would feel like a pile of shit amirirte? You never know. Going personal means that you can't withold your feelings from a debate. (psst, it also applies on taking offense on like the tinyest thing and saying out loud and throwing a tantrum). Childish and unprofessional.

[Benkov]

I could care less about your ethincity. You could be latino, Asian, hispanic, caucasian, if you are not nice to me, i won't be too. Decency

[Kat_puppies]

@Benkov I don't normally take offense to anything but say past shit is dumb is fucked up, one without the past THERE IS NO PRESENT. Ever thought about that? And i don't have to get to know you, all I needed to know is that your a butthurt bitch that likes rape, If you was a women you'd understand but sadly your not, so shut up and leave, we don't care about your culture or your fucked up opinions. She gave you the definition of rape from the damn dictionary , you act like she made that shit right on top of her damn head, Rape is a form of sexual assault when it is non consented type of penetration or sex from the pelvic region, I don't know how the hell you got out of fucking elementary school but that is the fucking definition, get your thumb out of your damn but and open your mind and eyes and stop being a damn tight ass.

[Kat_puppies]

@Benkov you could be a damn Caucasian and i won't give no fucks and no mercy.

[Benkov]

So, i think you cannot read. Butthurt bitch that likes rape? I said, i despise what that man did to the asker. You just made a nonsense from my words and you still attack me personally... I did not say that history is meaningless. I said it is meaningless FOR ME to imagine myself in a past act, there were other standards back then. I too got my definitions from a dict, you can roll back and read it, it is very rational. If i was woman i would understand? Give me a break... You think only women got raped? Have you ever been raped? No? Then you dont know either! Hypocrisy much?

[Benkov]

And speak only for yourself not for everyone. But i stay as long as i please, you can not stop me from doing it.

[Kat_puppies]

@Benkov actually fucktard i was, by my ex asshole he put it in me and i had my streghth to push him and stab him and run and call the police, how fucking dare you say that to me. that was the hardest time in my life, he also abused me and i still have the scars he gave me, he also blackmailed me, now that was extremely wrong for what you said to me asshole

[Kat_puppies]

I told him no i wanted to save myself, it wasn't in me all the way, he forced himself on ME bitch and you said i was never raped. Do you know how i feel about that fucking topic fuckhole HUH DO YOU THINK YOUR SOME KIND of GOOD person for saying that?

[Benkov]

I feel sorry for you that happened. I ASKED if you were raped. You just argue with 100% feelings and not with facts. Did i ever say so mean words like "fucktard" or anything like that to you? No. You are the butthurt and salty, not me

[Kat_puppies]

I wanted to forget him and that night bitch

[Kat_puppies]

@Benkov uh uh, none is for fucking given anymore you made me remember that time of my fucking life, why the hell did you think i said it was rape

[Benkov]

You are victimizing yourself. How on earth would i know that? I simply asked something, and you take it as i pointed it at you.

[Benkov]

Maybe because we are all different and habe different opinions?

[Benkov]

Have*

[Kat_puppies]

@Benkov "have you ever been raped? no?"

[Benkov]

Do you see the question marks? Because i do

[Kat_puppies]

@Benkov lol you answer my question for me "no?"

[Benkov]

There is still a question mark...

[Kat_puppies]

'Have you ever been raped? No? Then you dont know either! Hypocrisy much?'

[Kat_puppies]

@Benkov what does that have to do with anything you answered my question for me.

[Benkov]

A sentence is a question if it has a question mark at the end.

[Benkov]

You ventured waaaaay far away from the original topic

[Kat_puppies]

@Benkov we are still talking about rape, I'm not sure what you are talking about. You act as if I never got raped, and avoided my answer and answered for me and then call me a hypocrite.

[Benkov]

I ask for the last time. Can you not read? I did not avoid anything, i stated everything. Act as if you never got raped? I even wrote that i feel sorry that you got raped. You need a big sleep, you are clumsy right now

[Benkov]

But its not about you getting raped, its about what counts as a rape. So you did venture away from the actual topic

[Kat_puppies]

@Benkov who are you to talk? Im baking a cake to sale off, this is my damn career I'm making money and I'm saling baked good.

[Kat_puppies]

@Benkov also don't need sympathy when i been abuse my whole life ;)

[Benkov]

Aaaaaand how does it connect to the topic that you bake?

[Benkov]

I did bit say that because you needed that, it was just a basic human reaction

[Benkov]

Pssst, you know... Decency...

[Benkov]

Did not say*

[Kat_puppies]

@Benkov i didn't need it... nice people make me feel weird

[Kat_puppies]

lets be mature adults and settle difference and i shall say sorry, for my... wrong, that hurt me to say that imma stab myself

[Asker]

About time.. wow.

[Heclingybad]

The next time he’s asleep get something long and hard and stick it in his ass, From a distance.(note wear head protection just in case he feels so offended that he throws a punch)

[DesiBeautyLover]

Do what all women do. Wait 30 years and press charges for sexual assault.

[Groisu]

Slap the shit out of his mouth next time he does it make his face bleed hell back off he's just being a horny little douchebag

[Kat_puppies]

call the police he was raping you, as in unwanted penetrarion to the vagina rape

[johnnyB3]

Okay that is a little over the top, they are a couple they should just talk it out

[Kat_puppies]

@johnnyB3 no she said stop and he kept doing it, its rape

[Kat_puppies]

Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration carried out against a person without that person's consent.

[johnnyB3]

I never once mentioned the word rape in my response and that is not what my response was about. Her boyfriend did something she didn't like she should talk to him about it, not call the cops as that is irrational and very extreme

[Kat_puppies]

@johnnyB3 i would if my boyfriend did that

[johnnyB3]

So you would ruin his life for doing something that you didn't Like?

[Kat_puppies]

@johnnyB3 yup

[johnnyB3]

I hope you do realize that your ideology is completely ubsurd and most of all selfish as you don't take into account other people's lives and just think about how to make your life better

[Kat_puppies]

@johnnyB3 dude when i say stop i mean it, i been abuse and almost countlessly raped by an ex

[Zendrya]

@johnnyB3 you think rape should go without repercussions? You think it's okay to rape people?

[johnnyB3]

You two are clearly missing what I said, read my original comment again and then tell me weather or not you disagree

[SilentRebel96]

Couple or not. No means no.

[Kat_puppies]

@SilentRebel96 thank you

[johnnyB3]

Girls, it seems as though you still aren't grasping what I said and I'm sorry I cannot explain any further, ignorance is bliss

[Kat_puppies]

@johnnyB3 we don't care more women get sexually harrassed like that even if it's their boyfriend haven't you seen Law And Order. They have more episodes about this topic than ever, one episode a girls boyfriend RAPE her and he went to jail cause he called the po po

[johnnyB3]

This clearly isn't relevant to our situation in this question. Bottom line is rather than be extreme and ruin her boyfriends life by sending him to jail, she should first talk to him and second, leave him if it continues

[Kat_puppies]

@johnnyB3 It is, and he should get his life ruined cause no girl should go with a man like him

[johnnyB3]

That is a horrible statement to make you shouldn't wish ill thoughts anyone and you must keep in mind the relevance to this question. Answer me this clearly he hasn't done anything to mortify, ruin her life at this point it is merely something she is upset about and cleary doesn't like, so why should she even consider ruining his life forever?

[Kat_puppies]

@johnnyB3 because he is a jackass and this can turn into something more

[johnnyB3]

Clearly I am arguing with a wall right now, please don't reproduce we don't need more people with your ideology walking this earth

[Kat_puppies]

@johnnyB3 we don't need your ass here either, your basically not gonna press charges cause he was being a huge dick to her, if you don't like it fuck off, If i say no i mean it idc if it is a stranger, a boyfriend or a sibling they are going to jail

[Kat_puppies]

i'm not a sexual active person so ofc imma see this as rape.

[DogMakeAMove]

Just tell him to chill the fuck out, bring it to his attention. In all reality just express yourself and make him learn some manners. He sounds like a 13 year old.

[Coconut_Man]

You mean your EX?

[goanboy]

Calmly guide his fingers to his butt. Jk.

[Nahid1234]

No respect.

[TheRish]

Seems your boyfriend is too horny handle it that way, fuck him till his dick say no more for a week. He dick must be hot and you must be sleep so all up to you. You can handle easily tell him to play a game lets see who wins rules use only dick. And i am sure after few shots he will be dead and sleep and let you sleep.

[DanOh2017]

Sounds like an asshole.

[Benkov]

Its just weird that he can stay up all night just to fiddle your diddle. Make him visit the doc

[Anonymous]

I would honestly break up with him. That behavior seems like it's just the start and scares me that he didn't stop after you continually said no.

[Anonymous]

Sleep in a different room. Problem solved. Wait until he learns some manners

[Anonymous]

He raped you, and he must go to jail for doing this!! Call the police!!

Accusing of sexual harassment is so trendy nowadays, so just do it.

/s

[Kat_puppies]

PREACH