Living in a Patriarchal and Puritan Society

I'm 16 (17 in two months), I'm a 36D, skinny, white looking: light brown/dark blond hair brown/hazel eyes, little freckles, big lips, cat eyes/almond sharp . I'm considered very attractive and there wasn't a day where I didn't hate it.

I live in a North African country; no, I'm not muslim or black (there's nothing wrong with that of course) and I live in a highly judgmental hypocrital place.

Don't you dare be yourself

You can go to jail if you are gay or bi. You can't change sex if you are transgender. You will get hated/judged if you are an atheist or (god forbid LOL) a Jew (joking).

Living in a Patriarchal and Puritan Society

The feeling of guilt toward your body and libido

If you are attractive you will have to hide your "cleavage" wear less make up than the other girls but you are still gonna feel the guilt

"i'm sorry to look like a women who can start to be sexually active " that how you are gonna feel

also you are gonna feel like a perv for being horny or turned on or if you gonna watch porn you always have to hide the fact that you have a libido and if you will have sex before marriage you better be super discrete to preserve your reputation . ahhh

Reputation

this world means EVERYTHING in this kind of society . you can stay single for the rest of your life if you have a bad reputation , your parents and family and friends may suffer from it .

LOVE

uhhhhh it's the hardest thing in this kind of society , loving someone .

be careful if you fall in love with a black/foreigner/non religious /same sex/poor partner

be careful if you don't wanna get married / wanna live your love like you want it or have sex with him/her because love is such a complex thing and it even harder in this kind of society

FINALLY , SHAME .

There is this line that all the old people say about my generation that is tired of this society

shouldn't they feel ashamed ?

well no! i'm tired of feeling ashamed of my body; my needs; my desire; my will to live; my curiosity; my intelligence; my look ;my libido; my lover ; ME !

https://www.huffpostmaghreb.com/2016/08/01/tunisie-chasse-couple_n_11296512.html

https://www.huffpostmaghreb.com/yassine-bellamine/etre-jeune-en-tunisie-en-2016-une-liberte-reprimee-legalement-et-socialement_b_11296524.html?utm_hp_ref=tunisie

(it's in french sorry )