Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
(JUNE) I had started at my job just a month ago, and so far, the only person who talked to me was Chris*. He had trained me on my first day there, and because he was expo at the time, he was a very loud person. He was hilarious, so full of life and just really didn't care what other people thought about him. Plus the fact that he is one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen (he's Dominican if you were wondering). Talking to Chris was like a new start for me every day. He was so sweet to me...introduced me to all of the cooks, helped me to get to know my other coworkers. Took me out to eat when we got off, took me to a movie. It was almost like we were dating (we weren't, and I knew better than to think that). Then came the question I dreaded: Are you a virgin?...When I said yes, it was like an entirely different person came out. At this point, he became a lot more touchy. I didn't mind it very much though. It was mostly just hugging, and after being almost completely alone for 4 years in school, I was loving it. His hugs were like my safety zone. I wanted him all the time. Just to see him. I would get depressed when he was off, and overjoyed when he was there. I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world. When I would walk in the room, he would get a big smile on his face, yell my name from across the kitchen. It was an amazing time in my life. Then things changed again.
We went to eat one night and afterward he asked me to sit in his car with him. I didn't think much of it, so I did. Within 5 minutes he kissed me. Now, this was NOT my first kiss…it was my third haha. My first kiss was my best friend (at the time) Tanner almost a year before, and my second was Chris (on one of the nights he took me to the movies). So I was okay with kissing him. Then his hand went to my boobs..okay..mildly uncomfortable, but it feels alright. So whatever. Then the hand goes lower. Not okay. I ask him to stop, and he does. More making out. It’s all good. The night ends and I go home. The next week, we made out again. But this time in my SUV (the back seats lay down…easier for us). Same stuff happens as before. And again the next week at his place. Finally, he broke me. He told me how much he likes me, and how much better I was than the other girls he knew. A girl’s dream come true. So I gave in. To all of it. I had sex with a guy I had just met a few months before in the backseat of my car at 2 in the morning next to my workplace.
I was the attractive female version of Anthony Michael Hall's character on The Breakfast Club
But everything was okay still. He paid just as much attention to me as he did before. I thought everything was fine. I didn’t regret doing it. Until HE changed. For whatever reason, I became the go to girl. He would text me and ask when we were going to ‘hook up’ again. I felt like a complete slut/booty call. This isn’t what I wanted…We did it a few more times over a span of like 2 months. Then, at 6:13 am I got a text message:
Carmondy, I do not want to have sex with you anymore, meaning ever. Sorry, hope you understand.
No. I didn’t understand. I cried for 2 hours. All alone in my bedroom, wishing I could go back and never talk to him. I asked him to explain why after I calmed down, and he said to come over on his lunch break. So I did. His excuse for dumping me on my a*s after giving him everything I had to offer? It was getting in the way of our friendship. Are you kidding me? HE was the one who started making things sexual. I was content with things being how they were before we did it. But after losing my virginity to him, I wasn’t okay with going back to the way things were. Mostly because I knew things wouldn’t be that way ever again. We are still friends.. I guess. Every day I see him, I just want to punch him. I will resent him for the rest of my life, no matter how many guys I get with in the future, Chris will always be the guy that tricked me and broke my heart and spirit.
Maybe our parents deserve more credit for their advice...
What Girls & Guys Said
34 22I think the same thing is happening to me, I think I've ruined the relationship..:(
You sound like a very sweet, loving girl. I have met a lot of nice people lately, and wish you (and them) the best. Guys like that are the ones that make us all look like a$$holes. maybe you should punch him; I think he deserves it!
In my house the subject of sex or anything to do with sex has never been mentioned. Living with a 63 year old Mom who is a strict catholic and a sister. I was never given the "talk" when I was a young maybe 5 my mom saw me just rubbing really and she grabbed my hand smacked it and told me never touch there. I had no idea why or what I was even doing. Well of course I didn't stop and masturbated. It felt good. I made sure everyone was sleeping, or I was home alone.
I almost cried reading this. You gotta tell him that your upset because he pushed to make things sexual, took your virginity and left. This guy sounds kinda pathetic to me... He has sex with you, spends a lot of time with you, makes it seem like he's so into you, yet doesn't date u? Sounds likr he was using you and is too immature to be in a relationship with you
Teens think they know everything, and this goes to show that you should not take your parents advice with a grain of salt. These are people who have been there, done that, and love you. Its sad this happened to you. This is exactly why girls need to hold out for a long time to see who's the good guy and who's the ahole. Dominican? Come on now, you weren't expecting this?
Okay this is why i want to have sex so bad before going into a relationship, because i'm not willing to harm another just so i can feel pleasure. Being a virgin i've never had sex and not having it is driving me insane because i want to do it so bad. But i don't want to trick a girl in any way just to get sex cause mentally i'd go insane because of how badly i f***** up if i did. Anyone have an idea how to get a girl to have sex without tricking her into a relationship... or is an escort.
If you do punch him, punch twice (one for you, and one for me!) He was a jerk and what he did was very cruel!
This is why teens need to listen to there parents. They know things through life experiance, you sound like a nice girl but unfortinitly not eveyrone you meet will be as nice. My advice would be next time take your time get to know him pretty well before you get physical.
Deep story.. :/
That makes me kinda worried about a Virgin too, y'know.
I could be so easily lead on, and then the same thing that happened to you happens to me.. :/
Great Article
Yet another girl pwned by the jerk while a nice guy shakes his head in disbelief in the background.
This is why I say wait till marrage. I have heard way to many stories like this. No to say you can't get your heart broken during marrage but at least there is an outward and inward commitment. not just hormones
chris sounds like a pretty typical guy, he started thinking with the other head...sorry it destroyed a good friend ship.. he was not mature enough to handle it...
What a Jerk! I also felt your pain and heartache when I read your story...It brought back memories of my first time which was not so pleasant and some what similar to yours...I hope you were able to find someone a lot more respecting and meaningful then him! Best of luck to you! :)
That was a good article. He's a jerk, and I'm so sorry.
after I read your story,,, I feel so afraid,,,:"(
Lol sorry it had to end like that, it really sucks. but I can relate as far as how you felt going into it. I'm abstinent myself and struggled a few times but never felt it was worth it. all I can say is keep your head up and get over this bump in the raod. all in all tho great read thanks for sharing
omg something like that happend to me as well except mine was my boyfriend but after we had sex a month later he had another girl and said he didn't want anything to do with me anymore that he was "in love" with this new girl.
Something like that happened to me...its sad how we don't cherish the memory and instead we regret it.
Just a jerk. There are plenty of us nice guys that don't play like that. I hope you find one of them. I have seen it way too often but nothing can be said beforehand.