Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Rant time!
I will never understand why "losing your virginity" is even a concept in this day in age. Whether directly or indirectly, we teach each generation as they grow up that your "virginity" is something to be lost, especially with young girls seeing as, in most, if not all, religions, we are supposed to be "pure" until marriage, hence the white wedding gown we wear while we walk down the aisle. I grew up learning that as well, but after I had sex for the first time, I felt as if the person I was with took something precious of mine. Virginity isn't a tangible object, it isn't something to be lost, it's just something that society created to devalue women once their "virginity" was gone, not to mention the concept was created centuries ago.
My point is simply this: why should someone else's penis/vagina matter so much that you lose a part of your identity? When I raise my children someday, yes, I will teach them that your first time is extremely special and you should share it with someone who loves you as much as you love them, but I will never tell them that they will lose a part of themselves when they share their first time. I think it is much healthier to view "losing your virginity" as your "sexual debut" instead, as Laci Green so eloquently puts it.
If you'd like to watch Laci Green's video behind the concept of "virginity", which personally think is very intersting and enlightening:
Rant over.
What Girls & Guys Said
19 16Just like with many other problems in the world its the stupid ass views that society puts on virginity
Because sex affects us. For example, multiple studies have found that the more sex partners a woman has had, the more likely she is to be unfaithful or divorce her husband, if she marries. Virgin brides had the lowest rate of divorce/adultery. Girls who had a partner count over 6 had horrible rates of divorce, haha.
But it's alright for men to sleep with 678 women before he takes his blushing glowing bride...
As I've said multiple times before, @KBob93, women can and should, if they're smart, start refusing to date promiscuous men/hookup or such. If women wanted to, they could change things dramatically. But women won't. Because most women not only like men who have been... approved, other women, but women don't want to have to curb their own sexuality. They just want to get to sleep around and not suffer any consequences concerning if men will seriously date and/or marry them.
Aha, so certain men have plenty to do with it?
@KBob93 Depends on if you think women are mentally inferior to men, don't it? ;) If they are actually equal to men, they bear complete responsibility for their own actions, haha. Such as, being sluts.
I won't even get into female inferiority because I'll have people clawing my eyes out. But you DID mention falling for players being a component. Are you also implying men have no accountability or are incapable of the expectations of chastity women have? I'm starting to think you regard women as primitive, drooling creatures who must blindly accept that we are the humble worthless objects of men. If that's how you float, fine.
@KBob93 For one, if women expect men to be chaste, it's not something I've encountered. Most women seem like they'd prefer a promiscuous man over a male virgin. At least, from my experiences. Also, you have to look at things from the male perspective to understand. We men like to figure out what works. If women have a tendency to fall for players, what do you think happens? A small percent of men will naturally be doing that, and then, word spreads, men who have had bad experience being courteous and respectful will learn what works, and mimic it. In short, dating, for men, is like playing videogames, or repairing your car, or any other activity. Most men will quickly drop unsuccessful strategies for successful ones as soon as they can learn the proper way of doing the activity, whether that be working out or dating or anything. The female tendency to like players is a huge, huge message to the rest of men, "Act like him, and you'll get laid!"
In short, @Kbob93, women give incentives to be a promiscuous player, and discourage the sort of man I once was--the man who thought you needed to be kind, respectful, try to get to know a woman before asking her out, take women at their word, and such.
Ironically, while women have the right to promote or discourage what behaviors they abhor in the opposite sex, they are outraged by men wishing to do the same. Smart men do their part to discourage poor behavior in women, by not marrying slutty girls, for example. For recognizing red flags of foolish choices. Such as, a young single mother. Smart men recognize only a fool would court such a woman. Or a woman who was promiscuous, or a bisexual girl, for example.
Its all a state of mind whats in your heart matters more that getting fucked but think about this say he/she waits and gets married well its been my experience that when a woman/girl gets her first taste of sex they start imangining it with a lot of guys they know and thus wanna try it with different people so why wait till your married? Now if you go with religions views virginity is a sign of innocence and purity ok sure but in the end its whats truly in your heart that matters
As a Muslim I can't agree with you. We always give importance to past and future
Try being a guy with the pressure to loose your virginity.
Regardless of what you feel as social pressure, for a guy this can be the most humiliating thing in his life.
Just saying.
I could only imagine what that feels like, I am so sorry that guys feel the pressure to lose it
Virginity is not created to "devalue" women. That is nonsense.
Virginity is tangible in the fact that the first time having sex is a big deal and is a moment you don't forget.
Yeah there are some people who put a value on it, usually based on religious nonsense, but that has nothing to do with the concept, it has to do with the ridiculous religious rules and beliefs.
We put value on men in many many ways. Stature, income, height, penis length, longevity, health, etc. These take away from the identity of men. A guy can be the greatest man in the world but doesn't live up to the height standard we set so he gets devalued.
We can pick and choose endless ideas that we for personal reasons might feel are unfair, for example usually girls who are more flamboyantly sexual are the ones who feel that numbers shouldn't matter. But logically for health reasons, numbers totally matter. Any person who has been with endless people have a more likely chance at having something damaging to your health, therefore it becomes a VALID judgement of personal safety.
Virginity is shamed in boys and praised in girls. I think the bigger issue is the shaming boys for not having sex, it puts pressure on them to do things they may not be ready for. It creates a stigma that tells boys that until they lose it, they have some burden that makes them less of a person. These pressures can be blamed for some of the bad decisions that boys make regarding their actions towards girls.
A girl being commended for not being sexual isn't so bad. It gives them time to grow up and mature before sexuality enters the picture. Being devalued afterward only holds credence in ignorant ideologies, but they have a massive subset of issue that also need to be worked on.
I was raised in a religious family and I was told to value my virginity, that I have to stay pure until marriage or that I'd be viewed as easy and that "guys only want one thing". But since leaving that lifestyle at 16 and educating myself about my sexuality and sexual freedom, I've only come to conclude that whoever I have sex with will respect me and love me and make me feel secure about myself. I think as long as it's not filled with thoughts of regret, it's fine to delve in sexual freedom.
I think if a girl give her vurginity that easy way she's stupid and she will be like toy
Sex is just a physical act, nothing more. You can can sick from it if you're not careful, but beyond that, it doesn't mean anything. Your first time will always be a big deal, because trying something new is always a big deal, and because you should never have sex with anyone you don't trust.
I love it so much how she's standing in the woods and talking like it's a normal video!!!
If virginity isn't a tangible object, why should the specialness of your fist time be a thing?
Because why waste a first time, where everyone involved generally feels vulnerable at first, with someone you'll only be with for one night? Why create this association that makes you remember you first had sex with a guy/girl you'll never see again? Again, all of this is just my opinion and I respect other opinions such as yours that I think you are bringing up in saying why the specialness of your first time be a thing.
What you just described sounds a lot like virginity as I see it. Sure, people say they lose it a lot, but most of us give it. Of course it's special when you give yourself away for the first time, no matter how intangible it is.
Ahh, but notice how you said "but most of us give it"? You're a guy and most girls don't give "it" (ignoring the fact that it is not something to give in the first place). Have you ever noticed a girl talking about it saying, "Yeah and (so-and-so) took my virginity last night"? That's why. But you also contradicted your own statement, at first saying "why should the specialness of your first time be a thing" and "Of course it's special when you give yourself away for the first time." But if it is consensual sex, I don't believe it should be worded as "giving yourself away" because that, in my opinion, is as ridiculous as saying that I "lost my virginity". But then again, my being a girl and you being a guy will result in very different opinions on this.
I didn't contradict my statements. I'm merely wondering why you want to reject one intangible and replace it with another that sounds like pretty much the same thing. The way you describe sex sounds like every time for a female is a sexual assault, that sex is never willingly offered, always forcibly taken.
So? Emotion isn't a tangible thing either.
I just don't believe that it should be worded as "giving yourself away" because then you're in the same mindset as our ancestors were hundreds of years ago. But I'm not saying at all that every time any girl has sex that it is automatically sexual assault. Girls have sex for pleasure just as men do, girls have sex to conceive a child with another man when the time is right or if it just happens, and girls also have sex just for the hell of it just as men do. But something being special isn't replacing the concept of "losing your virginity" at all. Your first time having sex with someone who loves you as much as you love them doesn't have the same history as "losing your virginity", so how could it possibly be the same thing as "losing your virginity" where some women are still murdered by their parents if they have premarital sex, were thrown into prostitution, and couldn't be "sold" to another man? As Laci Green says in the video I provided, getting rid of "virginity" and replacing it
With other words gives us power back, it kind of empowers us. That is all. I'm not replacing virginity, I am tossing it aside. I choose to view having sex for the first time as something special, and if you want more insight, look at xHoneyxBeex's comment because that is not only something I completely agree with, it also has a message for everyone who has different views as you seem to.
I agree with you and I'm always against this people saying oh no you are not virgin anymore or you have to wait until marriage. I agree that your first time has to be with a special person that you trust and love. Besides you have to learn somehow and explore your body there's nothing wrong with that.
Exactly!
You want to know how to learn sex without doing sex? Same way you learn anything else without doing it: read a book on it.
Yeah but you can read a lot of boom a but what about practice I'm not saying go and have sex with all the guys out there and even if you want what's the problem with that it's your sexuality just learn the basic and most important safe sex always!
I definitely agree... When I had sex for the first time I was really confused because everyone made virginity into this big thing but I didn't feel like I lost anything... I just feel closer and more intimate with my boyfriend. Glad someone else agrees.