Losing your virginity: is it normal that it was really hard for my boy friend to get inside me like he was trying but he couldn’t get in?

He got in but it was very hard he kept on trying and trying and he was starting to get tired. And the second time we tried it it was also the same struggle and I think he just gave up. I also was unintentionally pushing him away from the pain I felt. I also bled quite a bit. I don’t know when it will stop hurting we tried it twice more like one and a half times because he stopped and it hurt both times and it was hard for him to go in both times too. He is also very thick I think and he is 6 1/2 inches so maybe that’s why?
Updates:
+1 y
He was wearing a condom
0 3

Most Helpful Guys

  • Well, yeah, that can be normal-ish. But tell your boyfriend not to go right to the VaJayJay. Foreplay is the key here - it's really required to play around to get all the bodies really ready for intercourse, especially the first few times. using fingers to expand the vagina (pleasurably) while fore-playing is probably the way to go. Don't jump to sex. And, pick up some Astroglide or anything that is WATER BASED (so it doesn't eat the condom during). I think a combination of that will help things out. Welcome to having a sex life.

    • Yeah we kissed, made out, and he gave me oral

    • might need to spend more attention down there with more than just a tongue

  • Is he experienced?

    I focus on relaxation. Relaxing the girl. If she's relaxed, she's gonna have a good time...

    I've taken a few virginities. Women have never complained about any kind of excessive pain. Naysayers may say it's due to an unfathomably small penis, but let's not be negative.

    Anyway, does he know what he's doing? Does he give oral? How relaxed are you feeling through all this? Foreplay is key, at least 20 mins. I usually give an orgasm through oral before penetration. Helps manage expectations...

    • If you're just fumbling around for a bit, and then he just tries to stick it in, then he's a bit of an idiot, tbh.

    • I am probably his 3rd or 4th girl (but I am his second virgin). He gave me oral but I’m not really a fan of oral, before the oral we were making out and I was moving my hips on top of him with clothes on

    • Its possible then that you're not fully relaxed. I wonder if people from Conservative or negative households can be uncomfortable or ashamed with their sexuality, and thus genitals. Tis a possible theory. The more you relax and feel comfortable the better it will become. You didn't feel comfortable with oral? Why not. Like I say if you're uncomfortable with your genitals, then that won't help.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Try more foreplay, most importantly to relax. When you begin having sex, it can be very stressful due to the pressure of performance and worrying about if you are doing it right.

    It will become easier. and more enjoyable, allow your body to adjust to it. Lubricate, foreplay, relax... Enjoy. You could. also. try different positions, even if briefly to both feel when he is inside and he doesn't have to go at it fiercely especially if he were to base it on how it is done in porn.

    • When will sex start to feel good?

    • It is different for everyone, you will know when it does. However, not everyone really enjoys it

  • That is not unheard of but you may also have an unusually tight vagina or an unusually thick hymen or both. Try again. If the pain is still too unbearable or he’s still unable to penetrate you or both, you may need to see your obgyn. Dw. Anything you tell them is privileged and they’re not allowed to tell anyone, especially your parents.

    • It started to feel good towards the end

    • But then when we tried again he couldn’t fit inside again

    • That’s good 😊. In that case don’t bother your doctor right away. Just keep trying and eventually he should slide inside you.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 16
  • Sticking it in when you've got no experience doing it can be tricky. Make sure your nice and wet, try some foreplay or some lube. If everything is wet down there it will be way easier to insert and get started.

  • perfectly normal myself and my last girlfriend (she was a virgin when i met her and wasn't told until the night we were about to become intimate) she was very tight and i'm around 7 inches it was as uncomfortable for me as it was her at first even after a very long time of foreplay and a lot of lube too... at the time it was too painful for her and became painful for me too which is saying something

    eventually i got her a vibrator to use to warm her up even more... and went down on her for ages... i found she was too tense as didn't know what to expect being her first time and calmed her after a long talk and she was ok after then and even more relaxed since then she loved every second

  • To the best of my knowledge I never had sex with a girl where it was her first time. So I don't have any experience with it being hard to put it inside the girl. (Except for my very first time when I wasn't quite sure where the opening was and I fumbled around before the girl I was with guided it in.) What I think is probably normal though is for you to be nervous at this stage and that makes it hard for you to relax and your body be ready for penetration. You didn't mention if you were wet or not. But even if you were, it might help while all this new to use extra lube. The main thing though is to be patient with yourself and know that this is kind of like learning to ride a bike. You both love and care for each other and this will get better.

  • He needs to start with a finger, take his time, and learn how to help you relax as you adjust to it. Then two. Then maybe something else like a small dildo or whatever. Taking a girls virginity can be extremely difficult if she's small and he's big. It helps a lot if he knows what he's doing, but that doesn't seem to be the case here.

  • I agree he needs to arouse you more, like fingering you and play with your clit and maybe go down and lick your pussy a little

  • Lubrication?

    • Yeah he suggested buying it

    • Life isn't a movie where things just work out perfectly. If that doesn't work, then there might be an issue, but I'm not a doctor or anything.

    • He got in I was just very tight since I’m a virgin and he has a very thick penis

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  • It is hard the first time since he got in too rough. Otherwise you will not have fun next time


  • Try more foreplay, most importantly to relax. When you begin having sex, it can be very stressful due to the pressure of performance and worrying about if you are doing it right.

  • Next time you try, have some KY Jelly on hand.

  • Did you guys have foreplay?
    A girl is going to take some time loosen up and not be anxious especially if it's her first time. She needs to be more wet down there and he should be able to slide in easier. You could also try some water based lube on the condom in case the condom is not slippery enough.

  • The dick size he got is average and good enough to get inside you. Were you wet when he was inserting into you?

    • He looks very thick. Yes I was wet

    • Then he should be able to put it in. Put some lube to your pussy... that would help. Which position did you guys try?

    • Missionary

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  • I didn't have any trouble it was older woman

    • Your age🤔

    • @AmeerX i was 15

    • How did you get a woman? How was she?

  • yes and I've been with a women b4 who hadn't been with a guy in a long time and it was a nightmare but she just sat back and we took our time it all worked out

  • lube or spit.

  • normal, next time you could use lubrication

  • He needed to spend more time getting you aroused and comfortable instead of just trying to force it in.
    The tightness of a vagina is based solely on its arousal and relaxation so if you were not tense from nervousness, if you were aroused properly, your vagina would’ve open to allow any human sized penis to fit without any issue or pain.