Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Girls, let me know if this is right or wrong in the comments please.
People forget there are differences between sexes and assume all people experience sex and desire for sex the same way — which I don’t think is the case.
I have a theory that ovulating women approach the state men with normal testosterone levels (for males) experience regularly. Represented in yellow and blue in the bottom section of the graph. Since ovulation causes a spike in testosterone temporarily this makes sense.
And I also think that with each successive ejactulation males approach the female baseline sexual desire (when not ovulating) during the refractory period.
The way I like to think of this from my perspective is the difference between anal and penile stimulation. No straight male craves anal stimulation from pure libido caused by testosterone but if it were to happen because of nerve endings they’d realize that ‘oh that’s not too bad.’
I strongly suspect this is basically how female sex drive works outside of ovulation (red line in bottom section of graph). Going about the day without primal urges of ovulation, but also a ‘oh I guess that could be a fun thing to do’ attitude. And when it happens, because of nerve endings it basically feels good.
I think this is why choosing a partner is so bottlenecked when it comes to women choosing men. Since ovulation only happens 12 times per year, the vast majority of the year people aren’t ovulating. Especially since menstural cycles of nearby women sync up, which prevents at least one person nearby from ovulating every day of the year (which would likely happen if cycles were random across different girls, because of how many people there are).
Essentially, this leads to sexual frustration in males because basically there aren’t enough ovulating women to go around at any given moment. And when they are it happens all at once and is easy to miss.
I think this is why sexlessness in men has gone up 3 fold from 10% to 28% in the last ten years. People are just coming to terms with female sexuality in ways that are actually consensual. And since they are consensual, frequency for males is going down due to bottleneck — but remaining constant for women because of shortage of supply (women) and excess of demand (men).
As an analogy, think of the Tesla Model 3. 500,000 people wanted a model three at launch day, but there were none available so a waitlist was created. Then Model 3 production slowly ramped up and those 500,000 had to wait a long time for their car. Years even. It’s the same here.
There’s a huge waiting list of men, and women only get really turned on once a month. So these guys are left waiting around.
Basically, the bottleneck is that women aren’t universally horny in equal parts daily as men walking around. I think it would be better if women outnumbered men 2 or 3 to 1 but that isn’t the case in most places. And even in places where that is almost true, like a University say that has a 60/40 split with majority women, often these girls still opt out and reject most guys. It’s just unfortunate in my view.
And I don’t think it’s out of a desire to reject guys. I think it’s just a genuine lack of sexual desire and a general assumption that men operate like women on their end, which could lead to shock and awe at the things guys do and say in pursuit (unsolicited dick picks right away, crude and overly sexually suggestive comments after first meeting, things like this).
Subsequently, lots of guys are chosen as if these choices weren’t motivated by primal ovulating style lust. Guys might be chosen because they have popular style, the right haircut, fashionable shoes or a higher income. Maybe he’s doing things that will garner fame. Whatever the case, a lot of the time it’s not sexually charged other than he has working junk. And the fact that his junk works is more like a secondary minimum than the main attraction.
For men, it’s often the opposite. I think this has to do directly with different testosterone levels between the sexes.
I’m especially interested in feedback to see if this on the right track or not (but I think it basically is). I’d also question the notion of desperation vs varying drives. For instance, it’s possible that someone has a different level of desire and perhaps even when the other person puts out at their comfort level it isn’t enough for this person with a higher drive. Are they desperate if they seek more elsewhere? Not sure.
In other words, what could appear like desperation for someone with a lower drive, it could just be business as normal for a person with a higher drive seeking more by further branching out.
Food for thought.
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