Married couple seeking Bi lady for friends with benefits threesome.

We have been married 10 years come February and we are looking at celebrating with our first threesome. Want to know if any other couples have had the experience, how did it go for you all and what was the after effect of the threesome? Was there any ground rules or boundaries laid out before hand? We are very excited and extremely nervous as we are new to this and would like to know of other couples experiences good or bad
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Most Helpful Guys



  • I have known a couple who have been married nearly 20 years and have had a few threesomes. So, I can say it has not adversely impacted their relationship.

    In regard to rules a few things first. Establishing boundaries require that both of you know enough about each other, know how your partner reacts in various situations, and a level of trust exists. This means that the boundaries you establish have a level of implied understanding. Having boundaries being implied means they are something that understood between your husband and yourself which allow the threesome to happen without having to list them all. The level of implied understanding is a function of your level of communication and knowledge of each other. Therefore if are a couple with strong communication and have been together for several years then you can get with a few boundaries. However if you are a new couple then you will have to spend allot of time working through understanding what each boundary means. Nonetheless as a part of discussing your rules it will be necessary to talk a bit about how the two of you function as a couple and as an individual so that your implied boundaries are better understood.

    There are a few generic rules that most couples incorporate at some level or imply it.

    1) Communication must be transparent. This includes not communicating with the third person without your partner knowing about it, hearing the phone call, reading the email, or being present for any IM activity that occurs.

    2) Not to use having the threesome against each other.

    3) Not to be alone with the third person

    4) Decision to go forward with the threesome must be a mutual decision.

    5) Safe-sex.

    6) Defining soft-swinging if it is going to be a soft-swing situation

    7) Activities acceptable during the threesome

    8) Activities that are to be kept between the couple.

    • Thank you. I really like your layout of rules and is a great help, which are all very important to me. We are thinking of hard-swinging. All the rules above with some added boundaries. Kissing no tongues, must wear a condom. Not too sure what else atm. Thank you. :-)

  • 1. MFF & stuff are good so long as you both are sure about it

    2. Any hang ups from you (in this case since it's MFF) cause the guy seems to like the other woman more etc can be the beginning of a big time screw up

    3. Any insecurity from you can jeopardize the relationship

    4. After a point of time you suddenly realize that your man loves MFFs and you don't want it as you are now either in no mood for it or you are plainly seeing him 'using' you (which may not be a fact but just your insecurity of sorts) as bait to get other women.

    5. If he begins to get insecure that you are more towards women than him etc and in case you do then there's trouble again ;)

    6. You realize that the woman is more interested in su***** him than doing you in which case you may get uncomfortable

    7. etc

    There are various instances of things going bad like:

    link

    However, personally I think with the right frame of mind, understanding your partner, following a few rules like not being 'friends' with those you sexually fraternize with etc helps though it's not always a horror story. But it's always better to know the flip side of the coin more to condition yourself than only looking at the rosy side and jumping into something.

    I love MMF, MFF etc and so do quite a women as well as men friends I know but again I know limitations and take precautions :D

    Good luck to both of you and believe me it's an awesomely pleasurable experience if both of you take it in the right spirits with the correct frame of mind. Also awesomely boosts your sex life as long as you know your limitations and have your priorities set right :)

    • Watched a 3sum couple & wife's friend. Basically the whole 3sum he was into her. I felt ignored the wife. Is understandable a new f**k. Does worry me he's into her she's into him & I'm like a spectator. My aim is to give equal attention & not have anyone feel left out. Years ago I had a encounter with a chick really enjoyed it. Have the desire to relive that & include my husband in the experience. Want advice, have heard of couples splitting cause of it. Our 1st time is a trial for future 3sums.

    • As long as he gets really horny seeing you with another woman while also enjoying himself between the 2 of you w/o ignoring you or even the other girl things will work out just fine :) Or is it more like you want 2 check out him between you & the other girl? Worse see if he's more attracted to you during the 'ritual' or to her? (latter is really a bad idea) :D In mutual swings and stuff the ignoring part doesn't happen unless he/she is using their partner as a bait to get a 'fresh experience'

    • We have watched lots of threesome movies. He will be fine in getting horny seeing me with another woman and I he will enjoy himself. What man wouldn't when they have 2 woman? No I don't want to check him out with other woman, I'm not into playing games. I would just hope he would give us both equal attention. I know he will be excited and be really into it, I just don't want to feel jealous because I have been made to feel left out or ignored as that would put me off for any future meetups.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • i have 3somes with my neighbors a few times a month. they own the strip club I work at and I've known them for years. they invited me to use their pool about a year ago, and I started hanging out there alot. one day me and her were tanning, and started making out. I'm actually the one that brought up having a 3some, but they were totally into it. I knew them really well, so there werent any ground rules, except if something made me uncomfortable, they would stop.

  • I love it either way, MMF or FFm. Are you looking for another lady? I have to say, that some of my most meroable orgasms have been with multiple partners, and hope that you can say the same, when you're done. I wouldn't recommend this for everyone, as sometimes, feelings can get hurt, but providing that everyones going into this willingly , and with an opne mind, then I say, "Go for it!"

    • Yes that is our next step, trying to find a lady willing to join us. We are going to try out our first threesome & see how it goes & if there will be any future meetups.

    • Proceed cautiously, but with that said, Good Luck! If you do it right, it will be memorable, to say the least. Keep me up to date on your adventure, as I'd love to hear the details!Yum!

  • I once babysat for a couple that invited me into a 3sum relationship.

    • and?

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • MMF threesomes are just as fun as MFF =)

    Assuming both parties are bi anyways.

    • No hubby is not Bi.

  • Wow, I don't think I could do it

  • I have and still am that guy for couples who want a very much extra for the wife. Frankly, I thoroughly enjoy satiating women not used to anything close to what I'm blessed with.

  • I have a hard time believing that you're seriously bisexual if it's taken you guys ten years to investigate a threesome. Not that it's a problem, but you need to be bisexual in order for this to work. When you're in a relationship, the only way you can have a successful MFF threesome is when the situation is basically the two of you f*cking the chick. If you're not going to be f***ing her, then it's going to be your husband f***ing her, and you basically watching.

    And that can bring all sorts of crap feelings up. Just make sure this is something that YOU want to do. If you wouldn't f*ck this chick of your own accord, without your husband being involved at all, then it's probably not a great idea.

    • Oh I am bi, hubby isn't. I have been with a woman once many years ago & really enjoyed it, want to be with another woman again but don't believe in cheating so I want to include him. At first he wasn't really OK with it as he believes in a monogamous marriage. Now he can't wait. I want to f**k her & am turned on by the thought seeing of my husband f**k her & giving & receiving oral but not sure about kissing, maybe no tongues & I would really like him to wear a condom. Looking for advice please.

    • Just what others have said, the two of you sit down and lay out ground rules. Discuss "what if's" and talk about how you think you'd feel, and lay out the rules based on that. "What if I do X to her, is that okay with you?" sort of stuff. If you'd be more comfortable with him wearing a condom, make sure that's set in stone. Kissing's one of the thing's that's a common restriction in threesomes, believe it or not. Tongue on the 3rd person's genitals? No problem. Tongue in their mouth? Hell no.