MASTURBATION ALL THE TIME

ECONOMY FRIENDLY ORGASM

When you can't afford toys or the real thing's not available, you've got to think outside of your box girls, and get creative.In one of my last pieces I recommended practicing dick-sucking techniques on vegetables, and I feel the same way about sex. Try banging things around your home or apartment. You should use what's handy, and they don't always have to be organic.

Cautions:

Clean it and use a condom:

Whatever everyday item you choose must be sanitized first with soap and hot water, anti-bacterial soap or rubbing alcohol, then covered with a condom before putting it in your body. Otherwise they could potentially cause irritation, contagion or abrasions.

Use common sense:

Beware using wood and glass objects or items made of materials that have sharp or pointy parts, or elements that can fall off inside of you. Stick to plastics, cloth, or non-abrasive metals.

Protect your parts:

If you are simply laying your lady-bits against something, even after cleansing the area, keep a layer between you and it, such as underwear, sweatpants, a t-shirt or towel. This will protect yourself, enhance the rubbing sensation, and even help to soak up any secretions you may omit.

Let's Get Wet:

1. Washing Machine:

MASTURBATION ALL THE TIME

Catch it on the spin cycle, cop a squat on top, and ride it out. If you're standing, you can straddle your labia around the edge where the sides meet, or bending over, part them, and push back onto the point.

2. Hard Exteriors:

MASTURBATION ALL THE TIME

Slide your pussy up and down anything firm that's flat or round or shiny; be it a bedpost, pole, railing, TV remote, calculator, coffee pot, candlestick holder, bicycle seat, table leg, chair arm or doorknob.

3. Soft Edges:

MASTURBATION ALL THE TIME

Hump the corner of your bed, couch, chaise lounge, settee, ottoman or any upholstered furniture. Press your flesh into a fresh pile of folded clothes, or throw a stuffed animal between your legs and squeeze.

4. Utensils:

MASTURBATION ALL THE TIME

Grab a tablespoon from your drawer, rest the round underneath part against your clit and labia, and rub one out. Anything with a polished surface that'll glide across your skin like butter.

5. Things That Vibrate:

MASTURBATION ALL THE TIME

Cellphone, electric toothbrush, electric razor (remove the blade), exfoliating machine, back massager, blender, hand mixer, Hoover upright, oscillating fan; all can be laid against your nether regions when in the "on" position.

6. Plastic Bottles:

MASTURBATION ALL THE TIME

Wine, beer, and soda; if you insist on placing these in your privates, I recommend using the skinnier end. Avoid glass for the obvious reasons. Plastic travel bottles are also useful, as are those little containers filled with water you find on the bottom of store-bought flowers.

7. Long Thin Objects:

MASTURBATION ALL THE TIME

Sharpie marker, candle, glue stick, broomstick, curling iron, hairbrush handle, hand-held mirror, rolling pin, and a turkey baster can all be incorporated into your after-hours activities.

8. Tools:

MASTURBATION ALL THE TIME

Snatch a screwdriver, hammer, plier, flashlight, file, bit driver, rake, spade, shovel or wrench from the shed to help unclog your pipes. Use common sense when picking which end to plunge into yourself.

9. Vegetables:
MASTURBATION ALL THE TIME

Anything resembling a penis can be used for penetration purposes. Cucumber, carrot, banana, zucchini, summer squash, celery, radish, leeks and purple eggplants are all great choices.

IMP:

Enjoy with care. Keep your pussy safe/uncut/unharmed for your guy/girl.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Omw lol okay

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What Girls Said

(5)
  • #3 stuffed animal for me please.

    • sure honey

  • um different? lol

  • Nice post xD

  • This is some kinky thing

  • What a weird MyTake.