Men. Don't be a pussy. Cowboy up. Do you agree?

jerdanro Xper 7

Make it happen. If you can't make it happen deal with it. If you can't deal with it keep it to yourself. Is that how you were raised and do you agree that is how a man should be? Ignore what women say about wanting a man who is open with his feelings. What they really want is a man who is strong.

Updates:

+1 y

To clarify, this isn't about ignoring your pain or mental illness. If you're misserable see a professional. Men should be allowed (and encouraged) to be selective about when and how they show emotion. Showing weakness to the world isn't strength, despite current thinking. It won't get you respect from other men, or make you attractive to women.

+1 y

Thank you all for the great discussion.

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Most Helpful Guys

ChrisMaster69 Master
+1 y
An men’s mental health just went backwards 10 years.

one the biggest problems facing men, is there mental health, the previous xxx years has had men basically bottling up shit and then it all comes out in one go, often with violence, abuse or suicide.

by actually being human, men can and should be more open with their feelings.

it actually takes a strong man to be honest and open with his feelings and emotions, any bigot or clown can bottle them up.
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- jerdanro
  +1 y
  Did you read the update about mental health?
- ChrisMaster69
  +1 y
  Yes I did, it also shows you do not fully understand how mental health works. You do not see a professional every time, guys and partners are there for us to ideally stop things getting to the stage where you need to get professional counselling.
- jerdanro
  +1 y
  Sure. Talk to you friends. I'd be careful about sharing every moment of doubt or fear with a partner. Primarily, keep it out of public view. No one respects a man who is chronically weak.
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- ChrisMaster69
  +1 y
  Utter bollox. Respect for each other has cock all to do with what you are trying to push. I’ve seen the real deal of guys not being open with emotions, from PTSD to depression to self harm, alcoholism etc. What you are on about is stuff that was the thing in the 1950’s, men are real men etc. Real men talk to each other, listen to each other, about their anxiety and about shit like this. Have I cried about loosing a pet dog, fuck yes, do I give a shit about what someone else thinks no. Seriously, do not fuck around with stupid questions like this that can dramatically mess up someone’s ability to seek help from their. Partner or friends
- jerdanro
  +1 y
  I disagree. There is a balance that is being systematically disrupted by modern culture. Young boys are being taught to be ashamed of masculinity. Of course men have basic humanity, but we have masculine traits that should be as celebrated as our feminine ones. You want to talk about men's mental health? What happens to the men who hate their own identity? Because the far left teaches them that masculinity is toxic, that all men are potential rapists, that all straight white men specifically are oppressors and racists whether they know it or not.
genericname85 Master
+1 y
somewhat. i think all this equalization between men and women has nothing but left both sides unhappy. i bet, we'd be more happy if we went back to our traditional roles, cause that's how we naturally evolved to be. at the moment we're sort of like fish on land, struggling to survive in a sense xD
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What Girls & Guys Said

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callMeNeel Xper 4
+1 y
I personally like to be that. I wanna be that kind of a guy, who my girl can blindly trust on. I can solve her problems (so she doesn't have to), for example.

I however have no problem if a man is the exact opposite.
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Kas19 Explorer
+1 y
Ew. You sound like a man that other men should stay away from.
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- jerdanro
  +1 y
  Do you really want a simp or weakling? Do you want a man who cries? Women say that they want a sensative man, but no woman I've ever met wants to be their man's mother.
- Kas19
  +1 y
  I don't want a simp or a weakling. But your perception of a simp and weakling is most likely different than mine. Would I want a man that cries? Uh, yeah? Why not? It's a natural thing to do. Men should be able to cry and not feel weak in doing so. And what do you mean by that last sentence lmao
- Kas19
  +1 y
  Oh wait I misread it. I'm not my boyfriend's mom, but I do think men deserve the kindness and love that a mother should be giving (which sometimes or many times, isn't the case)
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- jerdanro
  +1 y
  Most woman instinctively go into "Mom mode" when someone is crying or hurt. So, if the man is chronically weak it's going to be hard to maintain sexual attraction or to feel that he can protect you. I don't think it's bad to show weakness occasionally, but men have to be careful and not be too soft. Do you agree?
- Kas19
  +1 y
  Hmm. I disagree. For example, my boyfriend is Bipolar and has mental breakdowns once his mania subsides. I'm in "mom mode" or whatever quite frequently. I'm still very much sexually attracted to him, and have faith that he can protect me if he needed to. I rarely go in public alone without him, especially around other men (unless I trust them). What do you mean by "too soft"? I have an idea of what you might be thinking, but I'm unsure.
- jerdanro
  +1 y
  You're already in an established relationship. I assume you love him, so you want to help him through his issues. Even then, it can wear you down. Even good relationships die when one partner becomes too much of an emotional burdon. Too soft? Too much of a pushover, too insecure, too emotionally weak. I made the mistake of sharing too much when I was going through a very difficult time. I'm not really much of a crier. That was probably the first time I had cried in over a decade. My partner told me that even though she knew it was wrong, she felt a little disgusted. I think most women feel that way, if they are honest with themselves. Seeing me cry killed her attraction to me and ended our relationship. That was the first and last time I will cry in front of a woman.
- Kas19
  +1 y
  I knew about his mental health before we got together. I don't really get tired of it, I'm moreso worried. I'll never consider him a burden for going through pain or mental illness. It might be too much of a burden for some, since they may not know how to deal with it, or already have preconceived notions/stereotypes around men/women expressing certain emotions. I've never once considered him or his pain a burden. I don't date or hang out with people that are "too soft". I had enough of that from my family lmao. I don't think there is such thing as sharing too much if you're venting to someone who cares about you. I always want people to share what they're going through if they need it. I have no issue with people ugly crying in front of me. I'm sorry you had a partner like that. It seems more common with older women I think. Pretty sure my dad's ex wife said that to him, amongst other horrible things. You probably won't agree with me but you did not deserve that. I think you should be able to be emotionally vulnerable in front of your partner. They're supposed to love you and care for you.
- jerdanro
  +1 y
  Actually, she was much yonger than me. But either way, I'm not ever doing that again. I admire your committment to you're boyfriend, but I think you are the exception, rather than the rule.
- Kas19
  +1 y
  Hmm. Did she say she was disgusted because you cried? I understand not wanting to do that again. I wouldn't want to either. I keep most of my crying to myself, but it feels awful when I accidentally do it infront of people.
- jerdanro
  +1 y
  She was disgusted by my emotional weekness at that time, in general. I was in a bad place on and off for about a month and really was acting like a beta at that time. But that's just an example. My post is more that men shouldn't be turned into jellyfish by our femanizing culture.
- Kas19
  +1 y
  I really don't even know how to respond to that. I'm just shocked. It's also shocking to hear that being in a tough mental state (possibly depressed/hurt) for a month is considered "beta". I don't know. Experiencing sadness and being able to cry is just being human.
- jerdanro
  +1 y
  I'm a practical person. I do what works. I may have been drunk and angry when I started this post, but anger is allowed. So is happiness and love.
- Kas19
  +1 y
  All emotions are allowed. Though most people would prefer to not deal with anger. I don't know that logic makes no sense to me.
- jerdanro
  +1 y
  There are masculine feelings and femanine feelings. Anyway, you seem like a good woman. I hope you and your man are happy together for a long time. Time for my therapy (Burbon). 👍
- Kas19
  +1 y
  Who told you that? If there are only masculine and feminine emotions, why were you crying? I'd hate for you to be stuck in that mindset, but I know you don't want help so, I'm gonna leave you be. I appreciate it. Be safe.
- jerdanro
  +1 y
  I didn't mean that only men have masculine emotions or that only women have feminine ones. Some traits are masculine, some are feminine. People are a combination of both. In the current culture, at least in the US, boys are being rewarded for their feminine traits and shamed for masculine traits.
Inexpensivefurniture Yoda
+1 y
Not how I was raised at all. I was raised to talk about my feelings freely. Seeing how emotionally stunted some men can be, I'm glad I wasn't taught to bottle thigs up
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- jerdanro
  +1 y
  And yet, my generation never needed safe spaces.
- Inexpensivefurniture
  +1 y
  Ah yes. So much better when we just forced people to deal with their mental health on their own, because speaking about it was too shameful
- jerdanro
  +1 y
  That's what doctor's are for.
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- Inexpensivefurniture
  +1 y
  You can't go to your doctor for therapy though. If all someone needs it to talk their problems out and maybe get some advice, that's what family, friends, amd possibly therapists are for
- jerdanro
  +1 y
  Doctors, therapists, friends, or family. Whoever is appropriate. I agree. Just not in public.
- Inexpensivefurniture
  +1 y
  Saying that it can't be public continues to imply shame though, which pushes men not to seek help. I agree that some things are private and should be kept private, but I think we need to get past this "just toughen up" attitude. Making men feel weak for needing help is why the rates of suicide is so much higher in men than in women. 3 times higher. We've set up this culture where men can't talk to their friends about anything too personal, can't seek professional help, and can only express their emotions through anger. It creates extreme isolation and fosters the perfect environment for worsening mental health
exitseven Master
+1 y
Yes, cowboy up. Be a doer and not a talker but you can still let out the humanity once in a while.
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- jerdanro
  +1 y
  Don't be a pussy. Nothing good has ever come from being vulnerable.
- jerdanro
  +1 y
  In public, I should say.
ThePolishKnight37 Xper 6
+1 y
A man that shows his feelings is a strong man. Cause most like you say hide them. that is what the perfect human should be, part woman and part man. Warrior and lover
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- jerdanro
  +1 y
  In private maybe, but no one likes a man who is weak, indecisive, or overly emotional.
- ThePolishKnight37
  +1 y
  Agreed I should have used Balanced.
Pogi-Paddy Xper 5
+1 y
It takes a stronger man to be open with his feelings with not only women, but everyone.☯️
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- jerdanro
  +1 y
  Dude. That is such a cliche. One that was invented by women. Nothing dries up a pussy faster than a weak man.
- Pogi-Paddy
  +1 y
  Well then it was made by a smarter individual than me. ☯️
- Pogi-Paddy
  +1 y
  And even if it was said by a woman, she was a wise woman.☯️
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- jerdanro
  +1 y
  I'd rather have a woman's respect and desire than feelings. Let's be real.
- Pogi-Paddy
  +1 y
  Well then what you desire and what I desire are different.☯️
- jerdanro
  +1 y
  Go for it man. I hope you find it. You deserve to be happy. So do I... For me it's pussy and getting fucked up. I hope you find love with a woman who wants your cock. I'll settle for booze and hookers.
- Pogi-Paddy
  +1 y
  👍🏼
joeldalton Master
+1 y
Yup. I agree 100%. China is teaching its boys to be masculine. The west is teaching its boys that syrup is racist.
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MasterOfReality Xper 6
+1 y
100% bro.
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Twalli Master
+1 y
It can be argued that strong is able to express your feelings
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- jerdanro
  +1 y
  It can and has. I think modern culture has swung too far in the other direction and masculinity has been under attack.
IHateBeingaMan Yoda
+1 y
whats this about?
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Anonymous
+1 y
I don't know. I've done pretty well for myself being almost the exact opposite of what you describe.
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- jerdanro
  +1 y
  You mean being all feelings and no balls? Being weak?
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  There's a big difference between "being open with your feelings" and "having no balls". I can stand up for myself but I see no reason to rid myself basic humanity.