Men help! What is a man’s mental state of mind when he decides to cum inside of you?

First off, I’ve been single for 2 years decided to start dating again. I met a guy who I’m really into mentally, physically, etc. Everytime we are together our chemistry is on point and our attention is mutually 100% on the other. We’ve only been dating for a month, and I have turned down all of his requests to stay at his place and even when things have gotten pretty steamy I’ve stopped to let him know it’s too soon to have sex. Two days ago we went on a double date with his best friend and had a fun night. Needless to say, we both knew that was the night and we did have sex. My issue is this, knowing my tubes are tied and it was our first time, he came inside of me. I wasn’t expecting that, and am wondering why he did it? What it means and if now he got what he wanted if I’ll be ghosted.. lol. I feel little awkward approaching the subject, especially since we were both a little tipsy. He told his friend that tonight was going be our first time and that my bj was like a “religious experience” when his friend asked why I hadn’t had sex with him yet. My answer was the truth, I’m selective and a person has to be really special to get that. But now I feel lile a fool.. lol. Help me!
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Most Helpful Girls

  • You’re overthinking this. He knew you couldn’t get pregnant and went for the more intimate experience of finishing inside you. That’s pretty much normal for a guy. In the heat of the moment, their brains are focused on the sex and they don’t always think about precautions. If std’s are the issue, that should have been discussed before having sex so you could have insisted on a condom. In any case, you should voice your concerns with him now. You’re both adults. Sex takes a relationship to the next level, so you need to find out if monogamy is his goal. If not, discuss condoms and possibly getting tested to make sure there are no issues with disease. Communication is huge. Discuss each other’s intentions and where the relationship is going. Discuss precautions and whether or not you both will be exclusive and go from there. Hopefully you both can get on the same page and be happy.

    • All great advice!! Thank you so much, I will definitely bring up the conversation now. You’ve made many really great points.

  • I don't understand... Why wouldn't he cum inside? It's sex... The only reason not to cum inside is getting pregnant, but since your tubes are tied, why wouldn't he do that? I'm also confused with replies like "he should have asked first".

    • I suppose since this was our first time it was totally unexpected. Plus, we are still gets to know each other so I have NO idea if he has other sexual partners etc. we aren’t exclusive yet, it’s only been a month. Grrr, thanks for your response

    • So why would you have sex with him? If you're not in the stage of cumming inside, you're not in the stage of having sex.

    • It was our first time, I wouldn’t think that he would our first time. That’s a baby step thing to me, other guys I’ve seriously dated waited till I told them to or asked. Having sex was a mutual thing, I couldn’t deny that want anymore.

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  • You're totally on base... it's one of those things you don't do without asking !!! I was equally selective when I was single !!!

    • Awesome, thanks for your response

Most Helpful Guys

  • Hi! Not sure how long ago you posted this but if you're still interested in opinions... I think it's a bit odd he would finish in you the first time y'all had sex. I'm guessing he didn't know your tubes are tied, and like someone else mentioned the STD factor. Personally I'd be uncomfortable/awkward finishing inside the first time having sex, unless we'd already talked about it which seems unlikely to be at that level of communication before having sex for the first time. So anyway, not to be overly negative but it seems a bit disrespectful or at least careless that he'd do that, but hopefully didn't end up causing any sort of real issues between y'all.

  • I'm wondering why it was so unexpected. Penetrate and cum is really more normal than in-out-cum. As orgasm looms pulling out is the last thing a guy wants to do. The normal impulse is get in as deep as we can. Nature's way of getting baby started.
    What this "means" is non-communication, nothing to blame anyone for, including you. You probably did not realise that the outcome you expected was not the usual or normal one.

    • When I’m exclusive with a guy, yes totally cum in me, I personally do not like using condoms and prefer he’s pleasured just as much as I am. However, being it was our first time and we aren’t exclusive (not sure if he has other partners) it threw me off guard. Am I really overthinking?

    • I don't hink he was being disrespectful, you two just weren't on the same page. Just assuming he'll pull out in hindsight was unrealistic. I hear you on condoms, but first time in a non-exclusive relationship? No concern about STD's? Personally I don't think it makes a bit of difference to the guy's sensations. That's a bad rap from the days when they were as thick as bicycle tires. Nowadays you cannot feel the difference. It is nice of you to be so considerate but where your personal safety is concerned you might want to look after yourself first.

    • Thank you! And I did think he had one on for whatever reason, our sex was quick, he climaxed pretty easily and in our first position (missionary). So when it was over was when I realized he didn’t use one. I’d hate to think he was that inconsiderate to me, hence me asking on the site. The subject of us NOT talked to others or if he is or not hasn’t come up either. So I’m realistic and not going to say I’m the only girl does that make sense?

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I would personally have asked before doing such acts.

  • Talk to him about this and don't let your mind run away with you. I know it's difficult/awkward, but do it.

    • Thank you!

  • He did it because you’re safe from pregnancy and it feels good. Stop overthinking

    • Got it, thanks for the reply!

  • It feels good and he figured why not since your tubes are tied

  • Sounds normal to me, and you both like each other. No need to overthink the idea of cumming inside, it's obvious you like it too!

  • Well your tubes are tied so why are you worried?

    • Not worried about pregnancy, just wondering if this is the norm.

    • Yes guy feel good to cum inside cause when thet try to et out it kind of stopping and harming the flow the were doing while penetration. So they feel a difficult task to do. Plus every guy has fantasy to cum inside a girl to experience how it feels to them and girl. And hegot the luck from you so cause of this he did it without thinking about it or even didn't asked you

  • There is nothing to worry at all.. you are a pretty wise woman... you could handle everything just go with the flow if you feel it's right then go with it don't let these type of questions let disturb your mind... or still you have something to doubt it's better to clear with the guy face to face... He'll be also interested to talk to you about it or sharing his thoughts with you
    ... chill gal...
    Cheers 🍺

    • Ha! I think your right! Thanks for your opinion, it’s appropriated as well as everyone else’s. I hate overthinking and everyone has helped to ease it. Thanks again!

    • 🍷😊

  • My wife's tubes are tied and I cum inside her 99% of the time. This isn't very romantic, but our thinking is that the cleanup is easier 😂😂😂. Before I was married, I found it very intimate when a woman allowed me to cum inside her.

    • Before uou we’re married, were you selective with who you did cum in and why?

    • It was always her choice. If a woman allowed me to cum inside her, I preferred that because of the intimacy.

  • Don't feel bad yet. Give him just a little more slack

    • Got it, thanks. I’m not planning to bring it up just keep it cool and roll with it.

  • Well if he knows your tubes are tied i say then you would not mind

  • You fucked enjoyed why thinking too much.

  • It either means he thinks it hot or he wants a wife

    • Hahaha! He did tells his friends I was a keeper.. lol

    • Lol I bet personally I would love to cum in a girl its hot af