My bf always goes soft -_- (too short)?

so every now & then when we're about to have sex, I wait a bit because I mentally prepare myself. I'm new to this so I always take a deep breathe and like relax. Anyways, and then my boyfriend goes soft.. or it also happens if he just starts fingering me then I have to give him a handjob. Or if we're in his living room and the tv is on, he'll be fingering me and then gets distracted & his finger is just inside me and he's like frozen. Honestly, I feel like sex or sexuality in our relationship sucks, mainly because of me. I guess it gets kind of boring. Like I don't allow him to go down on me and I don't give blowjobs.
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How can I make myself not find bjs disgusting? lol
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Most Helpful Guys

  • there's nothing to be done about this situation apart from growing a pair (metaphorically) and going for it, providing his dick is clean and you are as well its just skin down there - men and women. You know your mouth and teeth probably have just as much bacteria as a penis/vagina.
    I dont know why he would just go soft though, its not normal for a guy in his teens or twenties to randomly lose an erection unless he has just came.
    Honestly you both sound like a couple of 80 year olds.

    "How can I make myself not find bjs disgusting"
    A penis is just skin, if its clean its not much different to licking your own arm or leg.

    • You make a good point.

  • Maybe the sexual attraction isn't there?
    Or sexual styles that don't match?
    You're young sex isn't supposed to be like boring already.
    How would it be your fault, if he gets distracted or keeps going soft?
    Why won't you let him go down on you, have you tried it?
    You don't need to try to like bjs if you find it disgusting, its your preference.

    • No i've never tried it for the same reason I won't give bjs

    • You know, 'you never know until you try'. If you two try it right after you're all showered and scrubby clean, i swear you won't even be able to notice that you did it afterward. Do you not want to give a bj because of the cum?

    • Yeah I guess it's mostly because of that. I wouldn't want to throw up on him. But someone told me I don't have to do it until he comes, like just lick.. eh I don't want to go into details ha

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • It's not you. It happens to guys. Just keep rubbing him... He's probably distracted or worried that someone is going to walk in or something.

    You don't need to give a blow job. If he can't accept that then whatever, too bad for him. I guess that's easy for me to say because I don't want blow jobs, never have. Girls would have to ask me to do it. I'm vagina-centric. Penis ---> Vagina. No exceptions and I LOVE IT.

    • Omg ikr. Penis and vaginas go together, not a mouth and a penis or vagina

    • Common sense right? See, guys like me exist. You just have to look for us. We'll probably be on the highest floor looking down at the world below. lol

    • Nope vaginas and penises are for bringing you pleasure you silly people

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  • Well you should spice things up a bit then! Try some new things and I'm sure the excitement and sexual desire (for you and for him) will naturally return!

  • loool he's your man.. its your job to please him right?

  • Try some more foreplay...build up to sex, take your time

  • How come you don't go down on each other?

    • I wouldn't want to kiss afterwards, but I see I'm going to have to try it out.

    • Put some water or mints or something next to the bed if you don't wanna kiss after will get rid of the taste. Saying that there isn't really much taste.. But don't do anything you're not comfortable with, don't do it if you feel like you have to. Do it because you want to

    • It sucks that you feel that way, Asker. Personally, I hate having to wonder how many dicks my new girlfriends have sucked on before I first kissed them. Not doing it would make it easier if you found a guy like me... but oh well, I guess. You'll be just another standard, dime-a-dozen kind of girl.

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  • just do it for the sake of each other, it probably isn't tat bad, at least you girls get to deal with something you don't have to peel away layers like an onion

  • Do not worry about it so much. Some guys just go soft after a bit if there is no direct stimulation.

    For a bj, if you do not like the thought so him cuming in your mouth then slip on a condom beforehand. He won't mind.

    If you want to excite him a bit, let him watch you pleasing yourself.

  • Yeah I got the same problem. You gotta keep touching him and making out with him, even if he is opening up the condom and putting it on

  • yeh, it sound like you're boring him, sorry thats how it is. You can't wait, give too much time and he'll start thinking about food or baseball or something. your stuff is like a diesel but ours is like a rocket, it takes a ridiculous amount of control to stay hard with no stimulae

  • Sounds like you need to start giving head

  • Maybe you should become a prostitute so you can learn to feel more comfortable performing sexual acts.

    • yeah, that's not one of my options haha.

  • Blowjobs are fun you're a rare girl who doesn't ' like them.

    • I know -_-

    • use flavored lube and just try it.

  • you can't force yourself to like bjs when you don't