My boyfriend wants to have sex without a condom for our first time ever having sex... Can I have a opinion for anything at all? (I'm inexperience)?

I just want to know how likely I could get pregnant, I'm a virgin and he is too but I don't know how long it takes for a guy to cum if he never had sex before... I just want to be prepared for this , he wants to do this because he doesn't want to take my virginity with a condom but I'm so scared to get pregnant because I'm not mentally and physically ready for a child, so please answer? ;-;
Updates:
+1 y
I'll try to talk to him about it..
+1 y
Oh... well I don't know then ;-;
0 1

Most Helpful Guys

  • I can understand that he wants this moment to be very special by getting physically intimate with you by having natural penetration happen here but if he really cared about you enough, he'll realize how high the risks are with inexperience of sex, pre-cum occurring in as little as about half a minute and such. Talk with him about how uncomfortable this makes you feel; that the risks of pregnancy are too high with no form of protection. Some people may resort to the "Pull-out method" like I do but it's not 100% guarantee to work since pre-cum is a factor here. Plus, he probably doesn't know how quickly he would ejaculate because the feeling of a vagina is very overwhelming!

    If you wanted to compromise, he could penetrate you for a brief moment then pull out and use a condom immediately afterwards since it takes time for the penis to build up sperm. If he continues to insist on having sex without protection, he's not being empathic about this because the last thing you'd want to remember from it is how uncomfortable you felt and how inconsiderate your boyfriend was. I hope he understands so you both can make this first experience as comfortable as possible! You can always message me if there are other concerns about this you'd like to know.

  • Sex without a condom feels better for both, and may even be more comfortable for a virgin, but there's no damn way you should be having sex without any birth control at age 17.

    Especially if he's never had sex before, the likelihood of him being surprised by his orgasm is significant.

    Not only should you not have unprotected sex with him in general, and because you're 17, but also, he's apparently a bit of an idiot, which means he wouldn't be a very useful father :p

    • I'm doing this so when he goes to the military we would be getting married when he comes back so yeah... and he is 19

    • If -you- want to use no condom, think about what long term birth control you'd use. And get on it.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Not smart at all. You say you aren't mentally and physically ready for a child, so tell him that. Give him an ultimatum - no condom, no sex at all. Or as I like to say, no glove no love.

    Condoms are not the only form of birth control, but they are a good start for a young couple like yourselves. You can definitely get pregnant the first time. He's a virgin, so he might cum really fast because of the excitement and not knowing how to control his orgasms yet (I've never had sex with a virgin guy so I don't really know, TBH).

    It's not worth the risk. You will not enjoy the sex and the time with each other if you're worrying about pregnancy and all that. My first time was with a condom, and it was more enjoyable. Just because he wears one doesn't mean he won't be taking your virginity.

    • You are right , I am just worried he wouldn't enjoy it himself because he would be loosing his virginity.. do you think there are any birth control in Wal-Mart or anything? I even offered to let him use spermicide but he doesn't want to do that...

  • Rather have him wear a condom for your first time. You can only get pregnant if he cums inside of you. If this happens just get he morning after pill

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 15
  • Sex without condom is addictive.

    My wife and I hated condoms and she was on pills or IUDs. And such "habitualize" sex without condoms, even hated it.

    So don't. You're still young, and may have more than few partners before you eventually married. Having addicted to sex without condom will put you into high risk group. Not good.

  • Don't do it. No exceptions. Don't let him tell you he'll pull out, don't let him convince you that your chances of getting pregnant are slim because they aren't, don't do it. Your chances of getting pregnant are the same as someone with experience. Contrary to a dumb belief, virgins can get pregnant on their first try. Do not do it. Don't fall for anything and if he keeps pressing the issue, well then you know why he's really with you.

  • Tell him to fuck off. Guys try their hardest to knock a woman up so they can claim ownership to you. Sad thing is, by time you meet the REAL man of your life, you will have been knocked up 3 or 4 times and had your tubes tied, leaving the REAL man in your life without ever having the option of having a child with you.

  • I don't know the exact chances of pregnancy, but I would very highly reccommend using protection. It's too risky.

    • Not too mention STDs. And ejaculation time varies, of course, but expect over a minute.

    • And remember, consent is everything.

  • Just use the condom. Your worries will take more away from the experience than the mild loss of sensation from the condom.

    If he pushes to go bare when you say no I would pick a different first guy.

    • It's just I want him to enjoy himself too... I am the worry type of a person I hate pain and yeah I can't get pregnant..

    • Trust me, he can enjoy himself with a condom. The first time is more about you as you're the one who needs to feel comfortable/relaxed. Do something nice for him later. If you go slow pain shouldn't be an ongoing issue though you might have a few moments as you get used to everything. If you're not on birth control I would 100% use a condom.

  • Well just What does your own intelligence tell you? smh

    • The only think I want for my boyfriend is to enjoy himself.. but I don't know he claims he can hold his cum in for a while and I mean I know he has but he would be IN me and that is super tight and yeah...

    • BiancaWolf, I'm going to tell you right now. He can not hold his cum in for a while. No one can. It's an involuntary reaction. It is impossible for a man's body to do that. Have him use a condom.

    • So, you're more than happy if you became pregnant then.

    • Show All
  • Just use a condom. When you think back to your first time, you aren't even going to remember that you used one, but if you don't you'll be reminded every day until you're about 40 because there'll be people calling you "mommy".

  • There are many other contraceptives. Why not consider others? Like pills, iuds...

    • I have no access to them..

    • If you have no other option, I'll tell you the chances: Of 100 Women that use only condoms, 20 will get pregnant within an year. Of 100 women who uses period table, 50 will get pregnant within an year. Of 100 women who uses the pullout method, 70 will get pregnant within an year

    • Why don't you have access to the them? Can't talk to parents about it? Can't talk to your doctor about it?

    • Show All
  • Is there a reason you can't get on the pill?

    • Yeah, it's because my mom doesn't want me on it because she says it's an excuse to go and have sex, but then she says she would do a five year patch thing so I don't know XD she never had to worry about me and guys because I am not they type to sleep with everyone I see , plus I'm a virgin so yeah , and another thing is that I only pick one guy to have sex with me in my life which is part of my beliefs (I don't really have a religion )

    • Well you need some sort of protection. If your boyfriend refuses to use a condom, and no other options are available to you, it would be best not to have sex at all. If I were you I would go straight up to my mom and tell her "I am going to have sex whether you like it or not, so it's either going to be safe sex or I'm going to risk getting knocked up. Take your pick.". To be fair, I still think a condom would be the best choice, unless you have both been tested for STDs. But then again, if you haven't both been tested, I don't think sex is wise in the first place. I digress. Also: It does sound like your boyfriend doesn't want to use a condom for selfless reasons, but it could be just a front. If he's using that as an excuse to go without one, for his own selfish reasons, I would reconsider having sex with him at all. Especially given your beliefs. I have a very similar philosophy, and I would be heartbroken if I gave my virginity to the wrong girl. Just be cautious.

  • This is basically Russian Roulette in a sense, you won’t know if he ejaculated based on what he says afterwards, and there’s still a possibility that you could get an STD, then there’s the best outcome where you both do your thingy have a good time and no babies or AIDS happens, but it’s a good idea to prepare in case something does happen since he wants to go in unprotected.

  • Let him know that you will not get an abortion and will secure prenatal care and then Child Support for 18 years. If he lives at home, you will get it from his parents. Tell him it's not about a moment. It can affect 3 people for 18 years and beyond. The time to choose is before you screw.

  • Well at least you won't get an STI and if you are on the pill then no condom makes sense

    • A Subaru WRX STI?

    • What?

    • Nothing, it was a bad joke.

    • Show All
  • The first thing that I recommend is that you wait until after you have finished your period and then do it within a few days after that. It is highly unlikely that you will get pregnant. Also realize that he will be very excited and will cum very quickly. Possibly even before he is completely inside you. My first time was with a virgin and that's what happened to me. Keep a towel handy. There may be a little blood and maybe some pain. The pain will pass. Just remember that sex is something that gets better with practice. Just make sure you use some kind of birth control after your very special first time. Enjoy!

    • This is horrible advice. Just use a condom.

  • Do what feels best for you but I think it's a horrible idea to introduce sex into your life or relationship without protection for so many reasons but it's your life you have to deal with the consequences of your actions

  • Don't be an idiot.

  • Say na nigga