My boyfriend doesn’t want to make me cum?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend doesn’t make me cum. I’m 22 and he’s 25. He has a low sex drive to begin with but every time I ask him to either finger or go down on me (because I don’t get off from penetration), he says either “you take too long to finish” or “but I don’t get anything out of it”. I’ve tried speaking to him nicely about it saying how it isn’t fair for him to get off and not me. He said he’ll try to be better but nothing changed. I finally got angry with him telling him that he makes me feel unsexy and unwanted when he doesn’t care about my pleasure and that I’m basically just someone to put his dick into.

Besides the mediocre sex life, our relationship is fantastic. I know sex isn’t everything in a relationship, but at our age we should be having amazing, mind blowing sex and I’m just not having it. I just don’t know what else to do to get it through his head that I need to feel good too.

[Fractacular]

Is it possible that he feels like he isn't ABLE to make you cum?

Maybe he would like to, but when he tries it never works out, which makes the experience humiliating for him?

If the relationship is as good as you say it is everywhere else, then it seems strange your boyfriend would be selfish about this one thing.

Has he made you cum in the past, ever? Is it possible that he has tried, failed, and has now given up?

[Anonymous]

He is not good for you. Go out and find someone who will satisfy you, I say this considering your age, you will not get any younger and he seems just like some inert guy who is not excited by you, that sucks in my opinion and doesn't deserve much of your time, honestly. It also seems like he is just saying empty words and probably has no intention to work on the thing you need honey.

[coralee]

He's being a jerk. "I don't get anything out of it" is completely selfish out look that doesn't get a free pass just because he has a low sex drive. People with low sex drives just don't feel the need to do it as often as others. The desire isn't as high, they aren't selfish lovers. Sex is about the enjoyment of both partners. I say dump him. This isn't an issue of lack of sex, it's a lack of respect.

[levantine99]

some people are just lazy or sexually disinterested.

[coralee]

@levantine99 That's still not an excuse. If he gets to get off she gets to get off. His response shows a whole lot of sexual entitlement that is going to bleed into other aspects of their relationship. She's better off without him. Sexual disinterest is besides the point. If he's so sexually disinterested that getting her off is such a chore, then why are they having sex in the first place?

[levantine99]

some people date to boost confidence and have a functioning daily life, and for social proof and to combat loneliness. thats franly most people actually.

[coralee]

@levantine99 Which is fine. But if he is generally that disinterested in sex then they shouldn't be having sex in the first place. My problem isn't his disinterest in sex, my problem is that his disinterest in sex only seems to extend to her enjoyment of it. It's perfectly fine for him to orgasm, but when it comes time to return the favour he shuts down. Asexuality and low sex drives are perfectly valid and need to be respected. But, a person with a low sex drive doesn't get to use their partner as their own personal sex toy. If he's not willing to help her enjoy sex then they shouldn't be having it.

[levantine99]

its not exactly fine or healthy to have these motives approach to relationships. but yeah agreed she should probably break up. she has other needs right now and those he doesn't care to provide it seems.

[Charlotte0204]

That's not right. He should be giving you as much pleasure as u give him. U don't get anything out of him reaching that point, so why should u then continue to please him.

[Nicole_Is_Bored]

Well if he's not gonna do it, I'd say don't do it for him either, oral stimulation etc. Possibly buy a vibrator or get him to do it.

[MlleCake]

Boycott his orgasms. Fuck him for a bit and then stop, roll over and go to sleep.

[KpopArmy]

Get him really angry than have angry sex

[KpopArmy]

I know it's not helpful but a lot of people say angry sex is good

[bente2]

D u m p h i m

[iamdesperate]

It is frustrating. Sex is an integral part of life and good relationship.

[NerdInDenial]

You're not sexually compatible; either get a vibrator or find a new man.

[Intraluminal]

Wow! Imagine enduring that for 40 years until your sex drive is dying.

[studDMuffF1n]

Your in the right its not fair he's gotta man up.

[LololLZ]

what a fucking prick, dumb his ass lol

[peachyskeet]

That's cold. Everybody has needs. You're I the right.

[IIMTHATGUY]

what could possibly be better than getting a girl off... and if that's his rational and the actual gameplan is to deliberately hinder your pleasure , YOU will need to do something or... nothing.. cuz that won't change.

[loveslongnails]

You're not going to like my answer, but I'll tell you anyway. Sex might be only 10 or 20% of your relationship, but at this point in your life if he's like this, it's only going to get worse. Kiss him goodbye. Seriously. He's not for you.

[howlyz]

I agree on everything except that sex is only10 to 20 % of a relationship. I think it is more accurate to say it is the ultimate way of communication and a means to communicate feelings to your SO, so that makes it a good 51%, no less!

[loveslongnails]

@howlyz I won't argue with the numbers, but if that's what it is for you, all the more reason to find someone who believes as you do and expresses it the same way. Gotta say, you're my kinda girl :) !!

[howlyz]

you'r a girl lol

[loveslongnails]

@howlyz not last time I checked.

[howlyz]

you are a girl, don't say I am a girl, I am not a girl

[loveslongnails]

@howlyz WTF are you talking about? I'm a guy who likes women that have long nails... hence my screen name

[howlyz]

I am not your kind of girl, pal

[HereIbe]

You have to decide whether you want that for the rest of your life and choose accordingly.

[Nandor]

One good thing about being a guy

[cobo0402]

Ask yourself if you want to be with him for the rest of your life and complain about sex life. Is it worth it? Now go do the right thing.

[208Henson208]

I'll help you

[Anonymous]

he is lazy. well he is not oblidged to make you cum. find someone who likes that and bothers to take the time adn effort.

[Anonymous]

Go on strike, if you can't come he can't either

[Anonymous]

Maybe go on strike? Tell him you won't help him off until you're off for once, tell him how you feel. Or maybe tell him when you guys are both horny and seduce him? If that's a possibility aha