My boyfriend dumped me after I gave him a blowjob. How do I get rid of this unnecessary baggage and not feel uncomfortable about sexual acts?

My boyfriend hadn't been communicative over a month. So I called him for a discussion so I could finally say let's breakup if you are not into it and hear his answer. But he just sat there not saying anything. And I missed being frisky and he did ask me to stop but I was delusional he wouldn't break up.
He took the blowjob like a man and went home and dumped me over text.

Been a long time but I still have the baggage and can't forgive him plus I have to see him at group gatherings since he is a mutual friend.
And quite difficult for me to get it on for other people. Lost my sexual confidence.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Wow... Awkward break up.

    I think for the time being you should not think about the sexual with guys. Try to find someone to have a more emotional relationship with. Talk to him and have fun. Learn to love him without sex. Eventually you'll suddenly feel that lust, but until then you should just focus on the emotional.

  • I hear your pain. I apologize for what happened. Stay in the game. Some of us are much better men.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Baggage?
    And honey it happens to many of us so you don't need to loose your confidence because of this
    Just scratch it out of your mind and move on

  • What specifically do you want an apology for?

    I'm confused.

    • I guess I just want me feelings validated that he was an asshole. I didn't want to breakup but He had been avoiding me for a month and i knew this is just causing me pain and he is just avoiding me and our relationship altogether but instead of dumping his ass. I decided to meet him and make it mutual and communicate but even after saying all I said he just sit there like a statue. And since I hadn't seen him for a long time and that is one of the reasons I had been begging him to meet me I ended up sucking his dick. Basically being delusional he wouldn't breakup. I took his silence for agreement that he wants to stay.

    • It sounds like he was already out of the relationship before he came over. It wasn't fair of him that he didn't tell your personally that he was through but being not available for a month is pretty much a break up without the words. Silence is usually the sign that the person is done. People who continue to at least have a connection even if it is an unhealthy connection. It was hard to tell from what you said if he was an asshole as you say. He probably wasn't the nicest by accepting the oral sex when he should have just got up and left. On the other hand you kind of knew it probably wasn't the best move. I wasn't sure if that regret was what was bothering you confidence wise.

    • left out the word fight.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Words that bugged me are "took the bj LIKE A MAN and went home then dumped over text"
    He's the one who should be ashamed and comfortable. You did nothing wrong, you are the victim here ! Forget about him, sounds like a douche. Move on !

    • *uncomfortable

  • Don't engage in any more sexual acts until you're married. This will stop males from using you for sex.

  • Use this as a learning issue. But resist overthinking it. Push it out of your mind, and focus on moving on... >>

  • Holy crap. I’m appalled

  • well he's just 1 piece of shit out of many, letting people like that effect you is a waste of time and stress about usless shit

  • What the fuck is going on with my gender these days? Dumped over a blowjob. I am sure you know how few women are even willing to entertain the act let alone perform it. Din't let the prick ruin what you enjoy. The bastard...

  • what an asshole

  • What a dirtbag.
    You did nothing wrong, and can most assuredly find someone better.

  • so what? there is many dicks.

  • Just know that it wasn’t working out and try to move on from that, it’s not totally your fault if a relationship doesn’t work, it’s both of you

  • So, you meant to break up with him, but you accidentally gave him a blow job instead of your own doing. And then he dumped you. And you think you have baggage from a situation of your own doing?

    • I was thinking the same thing. She knew she wanted to break up yet sucked his dick. Then he did break up. Seems like what was gonna happen did and she's mad she looked silly by blowing him