My boyfriend gets turned on when im in pain during sex?

He's my first boyfriend and i lost my virginity just a few months ago. Sex is something new for me... i always asked him to be slow and try not to hurt me, and everything was nice until a few weeks ago. He started to be more rough, penetrate more fast and grabs my body really hard and he's so strong sometimes i can't even breathe properly. And he never stops. I already told him That hurts, please stop but he just keeps going and he cames right then, really hard. After a while i get use to it, i guess, so i just shut up and try to focus on the moment, but it's hard because it hurts like hell and i can't feel any pleasure. The first time he did this i started crying and he said "if you cry it's worst, because that really turns me on and i will fuck you harder. i don't want you to pass out" I know you might be thinking now he's a really bad person but he's not. he's never hurt me outside of sex, at all. Whenever we're doing anything else and I act hurt, he stops immediately. He's not the type to get angry and flip out and hurt me; in fact, I have never seen him angry. I think this is just a sexual fantasy he has. Should I still be worried about the dominance thing? I don't mind being submissive, but I don't know how much I like being controlled. Does anyone else's partner like being dominant, and does that carry across in their actual personality?
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Most Helpful Girl

  • sadomasochism is not a terrible thing in itself, provided that it's consensual and both people involved are okay with the arrangement; in that case, you should also have a safe word that means "no" or "stop".

    however, your boyfriend being a sadist is entirely separate from the real problem~ the fact that you are in pain and that he refused to stop when you asked him to. his lack of respect for you is a warning sign that you should run as far as you can from this guy.

    if he can't respect your wishes, and you're not okay with him hurting you, break up with him immediately and don't look back.

Most Helpful Guys

  • I personally dont get turned on by pain, but some of my friends really like stuff like that

  • So he rapes you and you just go along with it... keep seeing him?

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I think you need to have a talk with him

  • HE SOULD STOP AND GO EASY ON YOU! IF HE can't THEN BREAK UP WITH HIM.