Sexual Relationships
+1 y

My boyfriend and I rarely have sex. Is something wrong?

We’ve been together almost 3 months, and we never have sex. We initially had sex the first time about 4 weeks into the relationship and he didn’t last very long. This is honestly totally okay! He told me it had been a while since he’d been with someone and I completely understand that that can mess with your stamina. So I made it very clear to him that this wasn’t an issue and I understood completely, which made him feel very relieved. We’ve had sex twice since then, but it’s been about 4 weeks since we’ve last been intimate. We stay together about 3 nights a week and he’s extremely affectionate. We kiss and we cuddle, but it never progresses any more than that. I’m a very physical and sexual person and I guess I’ve just never had where the guy I was with never wanted to intiate sex. He’s very passive when we have had sex and with this being a newer relationship, I’m just surprised that he doesn’t want to have sex all the time. I guess I just don’t know what to do. Does he not find me attractive? Do I need to initiate sex more often? I just am afraid that if I don’t do anything, we will just never have sex. What do I do? I’ll also toss out there that I’m 27 and he’s 30, if that makes any difference.
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • I don't know, IS there a problem? Sounds to me like he may not have much of a libido. I have a low libido, so would probably be the same way if I liked people well enough to date. That said, if he's more passive while having sex, that may mean he leans submissive, and his lacking stamina may lead to his not feeling adequate to please you if you like to have sex more than he does. Perhaps none of that is true and he just doesn't have much experience and that's the cause of the issue. You won't know until you ask, so my advice, as it so often is, is to talk to him about it.

  • Maybe he feels a lot of pressure with his timing, so he might think your patience will wear thin after a few times. Try slowing it down a little bit and tell him you want to give him a handy or bj (both?) this will get him more comfortable with you sexually, and maybe he will return the favor. This could lead up to him having more confidence in the sack, and potentially longer and more satisfying sex for both of you.

    • Recently I did intiate giving him head, which he obviously enjoyed. It was late and I didn’t expect anything in return. When we have been intimate he is usually very giving and has made sure I’m satisfied pretty early on. I guess I’m just a little afraid of him rejecting me.

    • Well, if you're together you're obviously doing something right. And maybe, you could start playing a game of favors. Like, if you agree to what he wants, then you get yo use a "coupon" for tongue action and vice versa. Keep it fun and don't worry so much about rejection, unless he gives you some solid evidence that he's unhappy.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't know, is there?

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

Related Questions

Girls, What colonges do you like for a man to wear?
Did anyone else have a digital hoe phase?
The guys I hooked up with last night robbed me :( should I tell my dad I hooked up with them or that they just robbed me?
Can the taste of semen really change depending on the food you eat?

What Girls & Guys Said

0 12

  • This may sound gruff but, tell him straight that you want more sex and tell him straight to make love to you. Maybe he needs an invitation, maybe he needs you to prompt him. You can't lose from giving it a go!

  • Its possible this could be a red flag.. I mean im one that can't keep my hands to myself so maybe his sexdrive is not as high as mine

  • People have a wide range spectrum of sex drive, maybe a low sex drive, maybe depression or low self esteem... Maybe he's asexual?

    There's really no way to know 100% what the issue is unless you ask him, so he's your partner, confide in him, tell him what you're thinking.
    Be open, honest, direct and discuss with him your expectations or fears about sex or the infrequency of it.

  • Sounds like he is insecure, just make clear you miss to have sex with him and you want him and that you like it.

  • He might be embarrassed by his last few performances even though you said it was ok. It's quite possible it's playing in his mind.

    • How do I make him feel more secure about this? Honestly, I’m really starting to fall for this guy and sex is obviously not everything, but like I said I’m a very physical person. Sex is an important part of my relationships.

    • I think it's time u really sat him down n tell him what u want and what's important to you and what you really don't care about. Also find out his preferences. Communicating is the key.

    • Thank you! I’ve been contemplating bringing this up. I just don’t want to make him feel like I’m pressuring him. I want him to want to have sex with me, not because he feels obligated. The third time we had sex he lasted a bit longer, but he still came very early. I guess my big question is how do I bring up the conversation without making him feel insecure. Obviously, I want us both to be happy and satisfied so this is something I want to work through together if it is an issue for him.

    • Show All

  • Try initiating more and tell him to start putting out or get out

  • Sounds like he's lacking confidence so you'll need to read carefully. Lacking stamina will not help. Tell him to Google edging.
    I'm guessing he likes you plenty. Make the right noises and be gently encouraging and girly.
    You can initiate but don't overpower your little flower. Perhaps he doesn't have much experience.
    It's probably less stressful and generally fun for him if u do the wriggling not him so lots of oral and fingers for you if he's up for it.

  • Initiate sex and see what happens.

  • U guys need to talk more. Me n my girlfriend used to watch porns together n talked about which positions I like or she likes. Turn off or turn down the light might help a bit too sometimes.

  • You need to find a new boyfriend

  • If its a new relationship he should want to all the time, especially if your only spending a few nights a week together, that should get him excited to see you, spend time together cook together cuddle up and then start messing. around. At least once a week. But you just need to be honest with him and say that would like to have sex more. Sometimes being blunt os just what you have to do

  • I think still he is afraid with with first sex... or maybe he is having some sexual problems for that you need to ask him openly.. and you need to talk about your sexuality too

Latest Questions

Do guys fall in love with women their scent?
I'm a virgin but is sex really worth it?
Do you think you can have irresistible sex appeal even if you are not very conventionally attractive?
What's worse , being a short man or having small dick?
Home >  Sexual Relationships  > My boyfriend and I rarely have sex. Is something wrong?